What's wrong with me?

[sleepyjean 0]

I've made up my mind. I'm going to lie. I'm going to look 'em all in the eye and lie like a rug. I'm going to tell my boss I'm having surgery and I'm going to be out for a week.

Now here's the thing - I'm not telling anyone I'm getting banded. It's not that I'm ashamed, but this kind of surgery makes people curious and I don't want to have to deal with a lot of questions and/or scrutiny.

Therefore, I need to come up with some kind of condition that has no outward symptoms (e.g. rash, weakness, face turning purple, barfing up a lung) but requires surgery to correct. And this condition has to be something that elicits as few questions as possible. It has to be the kind of thing where someone asks "why are you having surgery?" And I can say "I'm having surgery because of X" and the conversation stops there because when someone is dealing with X, it's just plain rude to ask nosy questions.

So what's wrong with me? Blood clot? ulcer? girlie issues? Anyone have any good ideas?

[chichigirl 1]

Girlie issues are always a good choice, like fibroids or irregular bleeding. There's also the gall-bladder scenerio, just tell them you had an ultra sound and they found stones and your doctor wants to remove it before you have major problems with it. Just be careful, if you tell them gall-bladder and you still have one, you may need to really use it in the future. I personally would just use the irregular bleeding and that you need a D&C. There are no outward signs and no one can really question you about it too much, especially the men in the group.

Good Luck

Cindy

[CCBSTX 0]

I like chichigirls idea with the gallbladder. Sometimes the gallbladder get removed during WLS anyway (if in bad condition). I am with you as far as telling folks. I only told a select few, those who I know could keep a secret (family and one friend) When people ask how I lost weight, I simply reply.."I watch what I eat." Shawn

[amy_kf 0]

I say if you can tell a white lie, go for it! I wanted to do the same, but then found that I ended up telling people because it was easier than trying to hide a fib. Go with Chichi's advice!

I had a HUGE range of reactions, and can also feel people watching me- waiting for me to melt away. Others speculate their own conclusions as to why I decided to have surgery, ie I am unhappy, lonely after my divorce, etc. (Never mind my high BP, diabetes in the family, and a buldging disc in my lower back that rendered me unable to walk for a week last spring.) I really have thick skin now and wish that people would be bold enough to talk to me about my decision, instead of bold enough to speculate.

I have lost 23 pounds since I started the pre-op diet on 11-15-05, but that has slowed drastically because I had zero restrictions after surgery. I just had my first fill of 2 cc last week and still have not felt that special little feeling of restriction that I hear so many talk about. I worry to myself that I will not find my "sweet spot" and my band will not work like the others.

[lildarlin 0]

I understand how you feel. I was thinking the same thing for when my time hopefully comes. But I know that I won't be able to keep it from anyone. The people I work with are very very nosey and will keep drilling you for information til you break! They know more about me than my family does probably!!

I don't know if I would go the gall bladder route...if you really need it out down the road, you have to tell another lie to cover the 1st. D&C would be a good way to go, but you'd want to make sure your dr. doesn't write weight loss surgery on your slip for disability (if your work requires a written excuse to be out). I work in human resources, can you tell?

[Tricia K. 0]

How about saying that you have cysts on your ovaries that need to be removed? Most likely, the men won't ask anymore questions and the women will sympathize with you.

[Bensmum1109 0]

I told people I had an intestinal obstruction (which I actually had, but obviously not the real reason for my surgery).

[MsButterKup23 1]

How about saying that you have cysts on your ovaries that need to be removed? Most likely, the men won't ask anymore questions and the women will sympathize with you.

I like that idea.. Because you never know if you might eventually have to get your gallbladder or appendix taken out. There are just a few things in your body you don't need and cysts on your ovaries are one of them plus it will keep the men in the office from getting into it too much.

[sleepyjean 0]

Hmm....lots of good ideas and things to think about. I think my strategy will be to take a week off, and then if for some reason boss needs me to change my schedule, then I'll tell her about the surgery. That's a last resort though. Maybe I'm being silly, but I'm kind of afraid that if I do make up some kind of health problem, my liver will really fall out or something!

[Fantastic 0]

The bad thing about lying is that you often get caught, sometimes by something you let slip out later. Why not just tell people that you dont want to say anything because of HIPAA (providing for medical privacy)? No one at your company can discuss your health issue(s) without your written permission for each and every person to discuss it with any one person (your verbal permission isnt good enough).

My company doesnt allow sick time for elective surgery so I just took a week's vacation. I didnt have to explain anything to anyone.

Hipaa prevents anyone from talking about your medical records...not from you discussing your own.

I woul just tell ppl you don't want to talk about it.

[liannatx 897]

I said I had a surgery to remove fibroids. It is a laproscopic surgery and has a very similiar recovery. It was great because while I was doing full liquids back at work I said that the anesthesia left me very sick for days and I was afraid to eat too heavy yet. I found that people ask "what kind of surgery" out of a desire to show concern, but no one really questions a vague response like "female related".

[gadgetlady 4]

How about "It's a personal matter." That way you don't have to lie. You could even add the word "minor" in there so people don't pry any more.

I pretty much told everyone because I want the support, but my dh was talking to a business associate and he didn't know whether I'd be OK w/ telling him why I was having surgery, so he said "she's had some abdominal issues that she's been dealing with for a while and she's finally taking care of it" :-)