I've been denied surgery...

[Dody 0]

The reverse mortgage is a GREAT idea, Dody. That's where you take out a loan against your house and after you die the loan is repaid out of the sale of the house -- or something like that, right? I keep forgetting about that. Thanks!

Yes, you can take out the equity in your home. You never turn over the deed or lose control of your house and you can live in it till the day you die. You and your spouse if you have one. The loan is repaid when the house is sold, and if you leave most of the loan in a line of credit and just use what you need for your surgery you are only paying on that minimal amount. Absolutely no payments for you to add to your already stretched income. It's a great way for older people who have dental and eye glass bills that are not even covered by Medicare. For me it was a wonderful answer and I would suggest it to anyone. I talked it over with the kids and they were absolutely all for it. They want me to be as well as I can be while I am here, and although they all live all around the country and have their own lives, I will now have the resources to visit them and heck once I'm banded maybe visit other places I've only dreamed of going. Since getting this loan the world looks like a much different place to me. My home will keep gaining equity so there will still be money left in it for the kids, but right now I have to do what is best for me and this is it.

There are solutions out there for all problems. If you need to find another shrink then go for it. Depression should be an excellent reason for having the banding. People feel better immediately because they now have a tool to help them and they are not on their own. No wonder they call it "their best friend".

Don't give up your dreams on one denial. Heck so many here have been fighting for the rights for the band forever. You just don't take no for an answer until you have tried everything. Some psychiatrists merely give written exams where you answer questions for about 2 hours (that is what mine did).

Good luck to you and don't give up.

[LauraMesquite 0]

Hi Everyone.

I hope everyone had a nice Christmas. Mine was okay, all considered.

I just finished reading what everyone has said here and I'll address the main one first....

REVERSE MORTGAGE...

I *did* look into that when I first considered the lapbanding, however, I decided against it for ONE reason -- my Mother. She's 80 and she lives with me. I have insurance on the house (and in the codicil to my Will) in such a way that if I pass away before her, it goes to her, paid off, free and clear.

She does NOT make enough on her own retirement and Medicare to make the mortgage payments, even though I've gotten them down considerably, plus all the insurance, utilities, etc. Without the house payment, she could make it here.

I *won't* put her name on the mortgage because, IF I pass away ahead of her, then she *does* have to make the mortgage payments.

Either way if I *do* the reverse mortgage, she's out in the cold, on her ear, and, quite frankly, there aren't any other family members able/willing to take care of her. (She was the youngest of her siblings, and the last one -- the oldest --passed away nearly 2 months ago). I had ONE sibling and she died in '84. I'm not married, have no kids and no nieces or nephews. There's no one else to take care of her. I can't take care of her PHYSICALLY, but I can monetarily by deeding the house to her.

Texas has a Homesteading law, and, as such, since I *did* homestead the house when I bought it, even if I had to declare bankruptcy, even if it wasn't paid off, it couldn't be taken from me. I will NOT give that up. Period.

If I pass away before her, the house, the deed AND the homestead passes to her.

So, at least, if I *do* pass away before her, she'll still have a place to live. I can at least give her that.

I moved my parents up here to live with me in '96 when my Dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer, and then after he passed away in '97, I asked her to live with me. They'd lived about 2 hours s.e. of me, out in the boonies, and I brought them up here so my Dad could get the medical care he needed. There was none down there.

My Mom's largest fear in the world is being thrown out into the street, and if I reverse mortgaged the house and passed away, that is EXACTLY what would happen to her.

So, it's simply not an option.

PSYCH EVAL

I'm sorry, I can't go back while typing this to look to see who said what -- but to whoever was concerned about their upcoming psych eval, I'd just suggest you think over VERY carefully what you say.

The BIGGEST point against me, according to that therapist, was when I answered that it was TRUE that I was an "emotional eater." I know few overweight people who aren't, in some fashion.

As you can see from the different comments in this thread, apparently each psych eval is different.

MINE was NOT a written test. It was about 100 questions -- all TRUE/FALSE and you used a pencil to fill in a dot. To assess it, they ran it through a computer and depended on the assessment of the COMPUTER. Reminded me of taking the SAT test or those kinds of tests in high school and college. Ain't that swell?

The doctor's office called me on Monday to give me the name of a PSYCHIATRIST they want me to see now. I DETEST PSYCHIATRISTS WITH ALL MY BEING. No offense if there are any psychiatrists on this board or people who know/like/admire them, but in my opinion, they run a photo finish with lawyers -- and that ain't sayin' much.

I've had BAD experiences with FOUR (4) of them when in a GRIEF situation, and I swear, they were nuttier than anyone *I've* ever known who WAS truly loco.

I've not called to make an appointment yet as I'm trying to decide if I REALLY want to put myself through that again.

DEPRESSION

As to WHY depression is a count AGAINST the surgery -- I'm just as stumped as everyone else. I *know,* as I've said before, that weight CAUSES depression.

I've also been told I'm "chemically depressed," which is a function of my own body and brain workings (or *not* working, as the case may be).

I know that people eat because they're depressed and they're depressed because they gain weight. It's a vicious circle.

I don't know why some doctors believe depression is a reason to HAVE the surgery while, apparently, MINE thinks it's a reason NOT to.

Ironically, I was referred to him, and had faith in him BECAUSE I'd been told by several of his lapband patients, that he felt that "depressed people deserved to lose weight and be happy, too."

Apparently not enough, though. :::shrug:::

What can I say?

Believe me, I *do* want some part of my life back. When I was about 260 lbs or so, I actually hiked across the Alps. I've walked all over Europe and all over England.

My biggest dream is to go to Egypt and back to England just one more time. THAT is what I want.

My 80 year old Mom is physically having to take care of ME. She's getting frail and she shouldn't be having to do this. *I* want to be able to help her when and if she needs it.

I am BEYOND angry at being denied the surgery ... because "you're depressed."

That's an excuse, not a reason.

NOW A QUESTION...

Someone earlier in this thread mentioned something about pains int he chest after lapbanding, and referring to it as "PB-ing." What does that mean? I've had to become well-versed in my own chronic illnesses, but I' never heard of PB-ing. It may mean something I've heard of and I'll hit myself in the forehead and say "DUH!" after I hear the meaning. I'd appreciate a definition.

Thanks to everyone for your continued concern.

Laura

[Guest ASPHALT ANGEL]

PBing is a Productive Burp.

[kimalicious 5]

I say go in and beat the sysytem, find a new surgeon! My surgeon, Dr. Powell at the Surgery Center Of Richardson didn't require a psych eval. Try them out. If you do need one, I say fake it. If you know you will stick with this band, I know it will help. I never was clinically depressed but even my depression slowly lifts as the pounds fall off. People may not like that I tell you to lie and that the psych eval is there for a reason, but if you have the comorbities along with being overweight you should not give up from this one doctor. There are many people on this board that go to several different doctors before they find the ones they like and will work the way they want to. DON'T GIVE UP! I just had a friend who went to the doctor because she is barely walking do to a bulging disc in her back. SHe asked him what could have caused this and her had the gall to put it to her this way, and I quote, " You can't put a ton in a half ton truck" He didn't sit her down and tell her the downfalls of being overweight with back problems, those were his exact words and they were repeated over and over in the appointment. Not all patients fit with all doctors. So you should go find the right one for you and don't take it lightly when they don't listen to you. Keep your head up and just don't give up for something we all fell so strongly about!

[lovecats85 2]

Once again, my doc and many others do not require a physch eval so you could pick a doc like that and you won't have to have one at all.

[mousecrazy 2]

Start over. My surgeon does require psych eval on some patients, but I did not take one. He didn't require me to. Just go to another Dallas area surgeon, and pretend you've never been denied before. I believe where there's a will, there's a way. You have made reasonable arguments about all the suggestions; and while they are reasonable, they are also successful in keeping you stuck. Is there any part of you that is getting something out of staying where you are? This question is upsetting, but very important. There have been other threads like this on the boards in the past...and after the person kept trying to get the band and succeeded, they felt sooo good, and are on their way to a healthy life. I urge you to see another surgeon, if you want to make a step toward the life you want.

Hugs, Cindy

[Afterglow 0]

I think Mousecrazy's observation is right on the money. My heart goes out to you, Laura, especially because it sounds like there's always a reason nothing will work for you. That mentality is bound to make you even more depressed and might be one thing your doctor was referring to in the evaluation.

There have got to be some good things going on in your life; you have your mother to help you (stop focusing on the fact that you think she shouldnt have to do so; you have a nice house (stop focusing on the prospect of losing it); etc. I say this out of caring and concern for you. I've been "down" like you in the past and I know how hard it is to get "up" but please try to focus on the positive aspects of your life.

As Mousecrazy pointed out, some people have a need for focusing on the negative; it gives them a reason not to try difficult or different things but it also keeps them locked into an unhappy existence. You're intelligent and bright and you deserve more out of life. Go for it!

[imalene 0]

Please try another doctor. In a different facility alltogether.

When it comes time for the psyche eval - lie. Or if you can't be straight with your therapist - tell her/him what happened last time. Again, if you suspect it's going to be the same - lie. God helps those who help themselves. :rambo

["with the band" 1]

I was also denied surgery until I completed Pschy Counseling because I tested Severly depressed when I went for my evaluation.

I told them - no one could ever fix me and that was just my creative temperment that is jaded and cynical.....after three or four meetings I had convinced (snowballed) the therapist and she sent me an OK to my surgeon.

Not so depressed that I couldn't fake it long enough to achieve success.

Dumbells.......this is who we have to go to for help???? Please......

[fiveholts714 0]

you need to speak with your surgeon about this therapist and ask for a second opinion. Really, people do it all the time.

[MeganA 35]

I wasn't going to respond to this thread but something is tugging at me to write, so here I go.

Most of the people who have responded to this thread are just beginning their banding journey. I think I may have a different perspective.

The pre tests, evals, and the surgery are the easy part of getting the lap band. It's the stuff that comes after that sometimes feels like it might kill you. It has been said a million times on LBT, but the band is not a do-it itself miracle. It takes lots and lots of work...physical, mental, and emotional work to make it work for you.

If you are severely depressed now, and unable or unwilling to try every single option ten times if necessary, you aren't ready for the band. What do you think it will be like when you get banded? All of a sudden you'll still be severely depressed, now you'll just have a whole bunch more to deal with and to beat yourself up with. My recommendation is that before you get banded, you need to work hard to get yourself into the healthiest emotional place you've ever been in. Work with ANYONE who is willing to help you.

You have no idea how hard it is when you can no longer use food to stabalize your emotions and brain chemistry.

Just my two cents...for whatever they are worth.

Megan

[dishdiva 5]

Great point, Megan. I was banded a few months before you...also have challenges with depression and like everyone on this board, am an emotional eater. You are so right...it IS so hard when you can't use food in the way you've been accustomed. And lots of us didn't "THINK" we were using food...but, oh yeah.

Laura, you have great support in the wonderful people here. That is one blessing you can count!