I feel like I'm losing a friend...

[Doc'sWife 56]

I am still pre-surgery, I was doing good and eating right staying at a constant weight. not losing but not gaining either, then I got my surgery date and I can't seem to stop eating everything in site. I really don't know how to put into words what going on in my head but I will try. food has always been the center of everything I do, from clothes that don't fit to feeling guilty even after eating a salad. Now that I will be restricted in my eating, I feel almost as if I am losing a huge part of me, like I'm losing a friend. I know that this is a huge life change and I am just curious if anyone else has gone through this sort thing pre-surgery? :blushing:

[isaviolinist 11]

I definitely understand. You aren't losing a friend, you are just improving what is currently an unhealthy relationship with said friend. Its kind of like starting family therapy. Sucks in the beginning, but in the end is worth it.

[Ashlea82 0]

I can completely sympathize. I don't have my surgery date but I got approval from my insurance company after the 6 month diet( lost about 15 lbs ) and after that I feel like I have lost control. I am back to eating fast foods and snacking between meals, which were habits that I kicked during the 6 month diet. My whole life seems to revolve around food. I love a Friday or Saturday night with people over for a dinner that I cooked and sitting around the table for an hour or so eating and talking. I am looking forward to the surgery but I am staring to panic about what I will use to fill this void. I have heard that picking up a hobby may help. Maybe we should all take up knitting. LOL.

[beernut 0]

I did worry about losing a friend and for the first few weeks after surgery, I did feel sad. food was such a constant companion that I really did miss it when it was gone. On the plus side, I do still have my friend but it's a much more happy and healthy relationship. No, you won't be able to lose yourself, distract yourself and pack yourself full of food anymore, but you won't really need to once you start filling the void with other things. For me, I took up sewing which keeps my hands and mind busy and my exercise takes up a decent amount of time as well.

Good luck on your surgery. Change can be painful, but well worth it in this case. You'll come out the other side a better person.

[lellow 1,713]

food is still my friend. But instead of lots of high calorie foods, cakes, chocolates etc, my love of food has changed to high quality meats, luscious fruits like mango, lovely risottos and spicy curries.

I can't eat much of those things, but I savour every bite. Don't mourn the loss of a friend, that friend will still be there, but in a different form.

I still love food, I just don't have to eat a lot of it to appreciate it.

[Doc'sWife 56]

thanks for all the comments. I'm glad to know that im not alone in my feelings and what im going through. I start my Liquid Protein diet the day after thanksgiving. fingers crossed :blushing:

[123crod 170]

food was my friend too, my comforter, but just like in an abusive realtionship you would not stay and take the abuse. food allows you to do the same thing . . . move on and let a hot bath comfort you, a good book and chat with a friend on the phone. We all know we never felt better really when we ate for comfort. No guilt in a hot bath or good book.

Cheri

[Doc'sWife 56]

food was my friend too, my comforter, but just like in an abusive realtionship you would not stay and take the abuse. food allows you to do the same thing . . . move on and let a hot bath comfort you, a good book and chat with a friend on the phone. We all know we never felt better really when we ate for comfort. No guilt in a hot bath or good book.

Cheri

I never looked at it that way before, your right. Food just makes it worse in the long run. Thanks for your 2 cents

[Jenishrinks 0]

I went through almost those exact same feelings in June when I had my surgery. All i can tell you and its hard to believe until you experience it yourself but this surgery will change the way you feel about food, your life perspective, your hunger and emotional attachment will be significantly if not completely diminished and you will eat to live not live to eat like we always did before. I remember one of my last Facebook posts preop the week of surgery was something like good bye food you're a bad relationship I keep going back to thats done more harm than good and I as much as I will miss you this cycle will be broken.

When I stress now instead of eating I pronto pack my gym bag and go walk it out on the treadmill. I never ever thought I'd be at that point in my life but I am. All the best for you and let the band be the tool that you find yourself and when breaking the bad relationship with food that may have masked other unhappiness in your life you can finally concentrate on yourself. I keep telling my family I am in a very selfish phase right now, because its all about me. Choosing the best food, heading to the gym to work out at least once a day no matter what, etc. How long have we not taken care of ourselves though? Congratulations and may your rebirth be everything it can be for you!

[dar36 5]

I am still pre-surgery, I was doing good and eating right staying at a constant weight. not losing but not gaining either, then I got my surgery date and I can't seem to stop eating everything in site. I really don't know how to put into words what going on in my head but I will try. food has always been the center of everything I do, from clothes that don't fit to feeling guilty even after eating a salad. Now that I will be restricted in my eating, I feel almost as if I am losing a huge part of me, like I'm losing a friend. I know that this is a huge life change and I am just curious if anyone else has gone through this sort thing pre-surgery? :blushing:

What you are feeling is absolutely normal. I know EXACTLY how you are feeling. There is such a wide range of emotions that you will feel on this journey. I can tell you that I was banded on August 17, 2010 and have yet to feel one ounce of regret and have not mourned the "loss" of food. To the contrary, I feel the opposite. I have a much healthier relationship with food. I actually enjoy it more because I am eating slowly.

I too feared the emotional changes that I was about to encounter once I was banded. In the last four months I can honestly say that all of my challenges have been physical and not emotional. By physical, I mean the discomfort of not chewing enough and eating too quickly. I am still learning as it is difficult to change 30 years of a behavior in just four months.

I do not feel as though I am missing out on anything. I have gained everything. I have been able to stop most medications, improved my sleep, and can do things that previously would have caused me to become out of breath. I can wear clothing that isn't plus size. I see my face again. I have gotten rid of my "fat" clothes. There is no food in the world that can compare to those feelings.

Have there been challenges...absolutely! Is it hard after a fill...yes. You are in for an amazing journey friend. And the most wonderful part is that you have thousands of friends on this website to encourage you. I have not been on this site in almost two months. I got on last night for the first time because I missed this community. You can really connect with people here. I was so happy that I did because as I read the posts, I saw that there were others that were experiencing the same things I am. You are never alone when you are here.

My best to you on your journey. Do not hesitate to ask for anything.

Take Care

[kll724 3,055]

I am still pre-surgery, I was doing good and eating right staying at a constant weight. not losing but not gaining either, then I got my surgery date and I can't seem to stop eating everything in site. I really don't know how to put into words what going on in my head but I will try. food has always been the center of everything I do, from clothes that don't fit to feeling guilty even after eating a salad. Now that I will be restricted in my eating, I feel almost as if I am losing a huge part of me, like I'm losing a friend. I know that this is a huge life change and I am just curious if anyone else has gone through this sort thing pre-surgery? :blushing:

We all get used to the "old" us. Someone asked me my motivation, it was health, but truly it was that I did not want to be that "Fat Lady in the choir". Now, folks don't remember the old me at all. But, I think the "loss of an old friend" is part of the reason for the psych evaluation. I was glad to loose her, and so is my husband and family as they were afraid she would kill me! Good luck, and Happy New year and new you!! Karen (kll724)

[Linsey 0]

I went to the mall today and in a clothing store went right up to a rack and picked up a bunch of cute clothes to try on. They are all size 6 and they all fit perfectly on me and in my closet. Shopping is my new friend. I still eat. I still love chocolate and all, but not having to dig through to find disgustingly large sizes on a clothing rack... I think the choice is clear

[Stephy5 33]

Docs Wife I am so feeling what your saying. I am 18 days away from surgery and I am really fighting stupid thoughts and urges.

Hang in there and we can get through this together.

[cheryl2586 3,053]

Each and everyone of us got the way we were/are because we found comfort in food. Your not losing a friend you are losing and enemy that made your life miserable. Relearning good eating habits is a challange but I can honeslty say that today a year later I would any day take a sweet orange over a 500 calorie piece of cake. We dont realize how good other healthy food taste until you see that it wasnt so bad after all. I love my shakes with blueberries in them. I replaced my sweets with sugar free hard candy. Its a game with our mind you see because its so nice to get that high from food then crash within 20 minutes of eating it. I dont have that up and down feeling anymore, I sleep well and I dont regret giving up that friend that put me through years of disgusting hell.