Lack of Support from family and friends...

[L12 13]

@Price5: I totally feel your pain; I'm 29 and wanting surgery, but no one seems to think it's necessary. I've only talked to my husband and one of my sisters about it, and neither one of them thinks I should do it. Actually talked to the hubs about it today and while he said he wants me to be happy, he also thinks the surgery is "cheating" (this coming from someone who is 5'11 and 175 on a heavy day). It's very frustrating, I know, especially when you're doubting whether or not you really need the surgery. I agree with all the other posters; at the end of the day it's something we need to do for ourselves. Sometimes we need to put ourselves first so we can be there for others later on down the road.

When it comes right down to it, aren't most medical treatments "cheating?" Organ transplants, amputations (and subsequent prosthetics--how dare they use a fake limb!), vaccinations... Shouldn't we all just let nature take its course?

[Msbandtastic 1]

I'm having a hard time explaining to family members why I need this done. I feel like I have to defend myself because I want this so bad. I am in the process of all the prework my Dr requires to have done before they will submit to the insurance for pre-approval. I have been overweight my entrie life and just tired of all the yo-yo diets all the time and want a permant fix to my problem and I feel this is the only tool that's going to help me get there and stay there. I'm 27 and have 3 boys (tubes tied now), been married for the past 10 years, and have given all my time and attention to my family and my weight. I want this for myself and to be happy and healthy finally. How do you explain why you want this done when it should be an obvious reason as to why? Or always having to be a "sales person" about why it's a good idea? I guess it doesn't help having all skinny friends and family that have never been in the overweight catogory to know how it feels. I was doing ok with this problem at first but know it's starting to get to me. My mom and I are close and she knows what I have always gone thru and I thought she would be ok, but just have health concerns...however she is now coming up with every diet plan she can to keep me from doing this. The only support I have going for me right now is my husband..which was a huge shocker! I guess he's tired of seeing me cry about it all the time! Sorry just needed to vent. I hope this process gets better and I get approved so I can have surgery asap!...I just want to be happy...

[Swan56 6]

Price - i feel for you. It's frustrating enough having to admit you can't lose on your own and you need the help of the surgery. It's even worse when you don't have a support group. But like many have said in response already, you have to do what is best for you! My husband is very supportive and my sister, mom, and stepdad are too. My dad on the other hand, is pretty hesitant. I think that has more to do with not knowing though. He lost his father to an adverse reaction to a routine surgery - so I understand his concern. I have chosen not to tell many people that I'm going to have the surgery. I don't want their judging and I don't need their criticism. Lean on your husband - find a support group - use the forums here... we will get you through this and then when you're thinner and healthier I'm sure your family will get WLS amnesia too. Good luck!

[xlstan 2]

Let's see.... my fat (obese) friends and family all have bad things to say about surgery while they down their third burger. My skinny friends and family all say try harder... they just don't get it. Luckily, my dr has been very supportive; in fact, he got me started on this path with this comment..."I was looking at your record. You've been seeing me now for 10 years, threatening to lose weight and you've gained back whatever you lost plus 30 pounds. Stop kidding yourself." A load came off my shoulders and we talked.. now I'm two months out from surgery and can't wait.

This is definitely something done for myself. I can't stand myself anymore. If other people just don't get it, that's their problem. I know what it's like to live in fear of chairs and mirrors, and what's it like to shop strictly by catalog because jumbo isn't a popular size in the stores. and the list goes on...

This is one crazy adventure, for sure.... all I can say is I now know a number of people personally who have been banded, and in each and every case their lives have improved so much for the better. Let's get on with it!!