Life after goal weight.

[less-of-me 2]

Well, I havent been on here for awhile. Life comes at you fast and learning to deal with the ups and downs has been a struggle. I hit goal weight back in may. I then had a Tummy Tuck in may. It definatly waas not as bad as people had told me or I expected. I am thrilled with the results! But in August I went on a cruise with my husband (actually we were on the splendor ship which has been on the news for breacking down during a cruise). the day we got off the ship we headed home because wee found out our 4 year old daughter who was staying with grandma was running a fever. We got home at 11pm that night. I took one look at my daughter knew something was wrong. I rushed her to urgent care. SHe had a bad wound on her nipple. Urgent care wanted to call an abulance. I took her to the hospital. after a bit of blood work they admitted her. By early the next morning a doctor came in and told me my daughter Had Leukemia! I started uncontrollably crying and iM NOT SURE WHEN i STOPPED. She had no platlets or red or white blood cells. she almost died. Immediatly gave her blood transfusions and plasma. Chemo started that day. Since then she is responding well. There has been a lot of issues. Her chemo was so bad the mesquito wond on her nipple grew to a massive 2 inch diamiter wound and an inch deep. she lost her breast bud so she will never develope on that side and she is left with a large scare and later a nipple will have to be constructed. But she is here with me...Thank you Lord!!! But chemo will continue for 2 1/2 years to rid all her bone marrow of the cancer. As you can imagine this has been very difficult and will continue to be. she gets spinal taps often (it was weekly) to put chemo in her spinal Fluid so the cancer doesnt spread to her brain. Please pray for her!

But through all of this my foods of choice stink. I dont eat the right foods all the time. But what has helped is staying active. Running has been my stress outlet. I run 3-5 miles a day. I have completed 4 1/2 marathons (13.1 miles) since january, and I have another in vegas on dec. 5th...then im doing the full 26.2 marathon here in january. It keeps me focused and helps so I dont go backward and gain back the weight.

well I apoligise for rambling...but i felt like I needed to. Thank you for listening. Also her school is putting on a 5k run for her in feb. to help with medical bills. check out the website!

Dakota's Run - FCA Phoenix

ActiveGiving.com Donations

[WENDY ANN 0]

Wow, You have had it delt to you bad. I wish you and your baby girl all the best. I can't even imagine it. It must feel like some sort of bad dream. What a little sweetheart and trooper she is. Hugs and kisses to her. Glad the docs are taking care of her. I can't forget about the Lord either, he was watching her and making sure you got home just in time. A bunch of prayers coming your way. God bless.

[mabinty 3]

Wow we give God the Glory!!!! We just never know which way the wind is going to blow!!!! I thank God for her life!!! Be bless an always remember he never gives us more then we can bare!!! So that let me know u r a strong sister:)

[isaviolinist 11]

My heart was breaking reading this. I am sending so many positive thoughts to you and your little one. You should be so proud of yourself for continuing to take care of yourself through this ordeal. Its wonderful because you need to be healthy yourself so you can be all there for your daughter. Good for you :thumbup: Even though you don't know me, know that I am sending many wonderful thought toward you and your family.

[Jachut 487]

You've got so much on your plate, I wouldnt worry too much about what is actually on your plate! It really doesnt matter in the short term, what is important is your little girl and your family.

I think running is a healthy and sensible way to deal with the stress and grief. Its how I've coped with my cancer diagnosis. Its one thing you can still do, you can still control and if you get those endorphins flowing, you do feel better. You can even go out and run and have a good cry while you're doing it, without upsetting your family.

God bless, I hope it all turns out OK.

[Mamadot 0]

I just visited the website and saw the most beautiful Princess! She takes after her beautiful Mother! Thank-you for sharing your story with us - prayers of support can help bring about miraculous results, and the more people that know about your precious daughter, the better! May she be blessed with complete healing, comforted during chemo, and go on to live a long and healthy life charming the world with her radiant smile! I wish I lived in your state, because I would love to participate in Dakota's run in person!

You look amazing! As others have mentioned, your health is vital to caring for your daughter. Reaching/maintaining your goal and keeping active with your running in the midst of life's struggles is a testament to your inner strenghth and your commitment to a healthier lifestyle. I pray you have a good support base of family and friends nearby, surrounding you with love, ears to listen, and shoulders to lean on/cry on when needed, as well as arms to hug you in support and to Celebrate the small and large victories during the course of your Daughter's triumph over Leukemia! Sending you my heartfelt thoughts and prayers for complete healing for your Daughter, and prayer of encouragement, strength, and serenity for you!

[SpideyMom 1]

LOM, I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter! I will keep her, you, and your whole family in my prayers. I'm glad you have running to keep your stress level in check a bit. You look fabulous, btw!

[tntbelt 1]

I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter, it's a tough club to be a part of. She is a beautiful little girl and I'm sorry to hear that's she's had to go through so much. My son was diagnosed with Leukemia in Feb 2008 at 2 years old and his treatment will end in May of next year. We will keep your family in our thoughts.

Congratulations on your weight loss... You look amazing.

[Ramg66 0]

I am so sorry to hear this. I wish you all the luck, and I will pray for you.

RG

[sarahbellzz14-4 1]

LOM,

I am so sorry to hear about your daughter, I will keep her in my prayers. You look beautiful BTW. I know thats the last thing on your mind, but stay positive.

[less-of-me 2]

hello everyone,

Just a quick update. I am continuing running. I can't believe how much it has helped me to have an outlet for stress and a goal to keep the weight off. My daughter is doing good. Thankfully, her body is responding well to all the chemo treatments. Sometimes its scary to really think about how much chemo is is truely on. She goes in every week and they inject several types into a port they surgically inserted. At least she knows mommy has a port too so she feels like we are bonded that way. The chemo even though its helping by killing the leukemia cells it also kills her good cells. Every week they have to test her blood counts to make sure she has enough to withstand another treatment...well this last thursday he counts were dangerously low. They couldnt give her the chemo schedualed and I was told to keep her away from people because it had killed all her white germ/infection fighting cells and she was very suseptable to getting sick, and if she got sick she wouldnt be able to fight it off on her own and would be back in the hospital. So, we canceled our plans too go out of town for Christmas... she was sad, but it was a wonderful Christmas. Were truely appriciated the more meaningful thing in life this holiday...its not presents...its family ! I am doing good most days...but when my daughter has a bad day I am able to keep it together long enough till her bed time then I lose it. Let me tell yoou its horrable when you have a major breakdown in walmart!! I had just had a bad day at the doctor with her and needed to go shopping...so my mother in law was able to come watch the kids at about 9pm and my husband and I went to Walmart for groceries. The moment I stepped in there I couldnt think...I felt over whelmed...I had a list but it was like the things I wrote down I had never heard of before!?! So, I ended up balling in the middle of the store and we left (my husband though not crying was mentally as bad off as I was). But since day by day we got better and stronger and are functioning again. I pray so for my baby girl all the time and I thank those of you who pray for her as well. God does hear and hes answering my prayers. Well thankyou for letting me vent again. Sometimes its nice just to put into words what im feeling or going through. I also love hearing from you all. It is such an encouragement to hear all the kind words of encouragement. Hope everyone out there is doing well in losing or maintaining their weightloss!

Thankyou

Denverlee

[SpideyMom 1]

LOM, I am so glad to hear from you! I was on here earlier and was wondering about your daughter. I am glad to know that she is responding well to the chemo. It is scary stuff, and you were wise to stay home at Christmas. I remember going through the same types of things. The whole experience makes you realize what is truly important in life.

I will continue to keep the prayers flowing... I'm a strong believer in that! And don't you worry about crying in WalMart!! I'm sure people have done some strange stuff in that store, so crying is nuthin! Keep your chin up and know that you will all get through this.

xoxo

Ann

hello everyone,

Just a quick update. I am continuing running. I can't believe how much it has helped me to have an outlet for stress and a goal to keep the weight off. My daughter is doing good. Thankfully, her body is responding well to all the chemo treatments. Sometimes its scary to really think about how much chemo is is truely on. She goes in every week and they inject several types into a port they surgically inserted. At least she knows mommy has a port too so she feels like we are bonded that way. The chemo even though its helping by killing the leukemia cells it also kills her good cells. Every week they have to test her blood counts to make sure she has enough to withstand another treatment...well this last thursday he counts were dangerously low. They couldnt give her the chemo schedualed and I was told to keep her away from people because it had killed all her white germ/infection fighting cells and she was very suseptable to getting sick, and if she got sick she wouldnt be able to fight it off on her own and would be back in the hospital. So, we canceled our plans too go out of town for Christmas... she was sad, but it was a wonderful Christmas. Were truely appriciated the more meaningful thing in life this holiday...its not presents...its family ! I am doing good most days...but when my daughter has a bad day I am able to keep it together long enough till her bed time then I lose it. Let me tell yoou its horrable when you have a major breakdown in walmart!! I had just had a bad day at the doctor with her and needed to go shopping...so my mother in law was able to come watch the kids at about 9pm and my husband and I went to Walmart for groceries. The moment I stepped in there I couldnt think...I felt over whelmed...I had a list but it was like the things I wrote down I had never heard of before!?! So, I ended up balling in the middle of the store and we left (my husband though not crying was mentally as bad off as I was). But since day by day we got better and stronger and are functioning again. I pray so for my baby girl all the time and I thank those of you who pray for her as well. God does hear and hes answering my prayers. Well thankyou for letting me vent again. Sometimes its nice just to put into words what im feeling or going through. I also love hearing from you all. It is such an encouragement to hear all the kind words of encouragement. Hope everyone out there is doing well in losing or maintaining their weightloss!

Thankyou

Denverlee

[less-of-me 2]

wow, I havent been on here in a long time. Just thought I would give a quick update. My little girl is still fighting strong. She is doing well and her hair is starting to grow. she still has 2 years of treatment and then a life time of tests, not to mention all the other surgeries she will have from losing her breast due to the leukemia and the reconstructive surgery too. BUt I am doing better in her respect. as for my weight Im having a hard time. I recently got so busy I couldnt run much and I was eating as if I was. then there was an issue with my band so they had to open it up all the way. Needless to say I gained. I gained about 16 pounds and knew I was but seemed like I couldnt help myself. well recently I got a little fill and trying to get my running regimend back up. I have lost about 3 pounds but still find myself hungry. I know im an emotional eater and maybe im eating for all the emotions I will no longer let myself feel. I feel like after all this time with my daughters illness that I need to be strong and suck it up. People have moved on but im still living this day in and day out. Im forever changed and a little broken and I feel like I have to hid that and put on the strong front. Plus now I feel people expect more out of me. Im being pulled in so many ways that I just want to lay down and sleep....but i wont let myself. Im happy but im sad deep down and nobody knows that. I hate drama and I refuse to be around it but some people (FAMILY) always seems to bring it around. I guess I have so many mixed emotions that I need to sort out but Im affraid to because if I open those emotional gates I dont know how long it will take to close them again. Im sorry to ramble but it helps that I can just express myself with out the guilt of feeling not being strong for my family. Thanks for listening!

[Mamadot 0]

I'm so glad you posted, Denverlee! And I'm so very happy to hear your daughter is doing realively well!!! Please know you both continue to be in my thoughts and prayers! I have a picture of your daughter at my desk, from the fundraiser held in her honor. I send positive thoughts and prayers whenever I look at her smiling face. I was the caretaker for my Mom during her bout with breast cancer over an 18 month period, and as emotionally draining as that was, it doesn't compare with what you, as a Mother, are going through caring for and observing your young daughter. I hope you continue to post here when you need a safe place to vent your emotions. More than that, I pray you can find someone that you are comfortable talking to in person, that can provide you with the support and insight you need now and throughout the next several years. You are trying to be so strong for so many people right now, that you probably are giving little to no time for your own needs. While I'm sure it seems exhausting to make time to care for one more person - you are the most important person that needs to be cared for right now, so you can be the best you can be while continuing to care for your daughter. Holding in your emotions for too long may cause a meltdown, so please consider finding someone to work through your emotions with. As for your weight, there are a few of us who were banded in May '09 that are fighting with emotional eating - falling back into old habits - and dealing with unwanted weight gain of 10 or so pounds. My surgeon said years 2 thru 4 are the most difficult - dealing with real-life issues while maintaining a healthy lifestyle after the initial glow and excitement of the Lap Band procedure has dimmed. So hang in there, Sister, and know that you are not alone in this journey. Take it a day (sometimes a minute) at a time.

Love, {{{Hugs}}}, & Smiles

Jennie

[SpideyMom 1]

wow, I havent been on here in a long time. Just thought I would give a quick update. My little girl is still fighting strong. She is doing well and her hair is starting to grow. she still has 2 years of treatment and then a life time of tests, not to mention all the other surgeries she will have from losing her breast due to the leukemia and the reconstructive surgery too. BUt I am doing better in her respect. as for my weight Im having a hard time. I recently got so busy I couldnt run much and I was eating as if I was. then there was an issue with my band so they had to open it up all the way. Needless to say I gained. I gained about 16 pounds and knew I was but seemed like I couldnt help myself. well recently I got a little fill and trying to get my running regimend back up. I have lost about 3 pounds but still find myself hungry. I know im an emotional eater and maybe im eating for all the emotions I will no longer let myself feel. I feel like after all this time with my daughters illness that I need to be strong and suck it up. People have moved on but im still living this day in and day out. Im forever changed and a little broken and I feel like I have to hid that and put on the strong front. Plus now I feel people expect more out of me. Im being pulled in so many ways that I just want to lay down and sleep....but i wont let myself. Im happy but im sad deep down and nobody knows that. I hate drama and I refuse to be around it but some people (FAMILY) always seems to bring it around. I guess I have so many mixed emotions that I need to sort out but Im affraid to because if I open those emotional gates I dont know how long it will take to close them again. Im sorry to ramble but it helps that I can just express myself with out the guilt of feeling not being strong for my family. Thanks for listening!

I'm glad you posted, LOM. I pray for you and your daughter, and hope that you will find strength and peace to help you through such a tough time. You may want to talk confidentially to a doctor about getting on an antidepressant. It sounds as if you have the classic symptoms of depression, which is normal when you are going through something like this. If nothing else, try to take some fish oil capsules. It's known to help with depression. You can Google it and find out more. But I also agree with Mamadot that it would be good if you could find someone to talk to during this time. You are going through so much! And to only gain 16 pounds with all of this stress *and* your band being unfilled is fantastic. I have been struggling with some weight gain from emotional eating, also. It's a lifelong issue that so many of us have. I gained about 8-10 lbs. and went in for a small fill. It's helped me lose some, but I still need a band for my brain! LOL Hang in there as best as you can, know that we are here for you, and you can vent any time! God bless you. xoxoxo Ann