Dating, after MANY years off the market, and sex

[Cota129 0]

Well, I've been divorced for a couple of years and feel like I'm ready to make the plunge and start dating. That's a big "yikes!" for me. I'm kinda nervous. Sex is not in the plan at this point, but it may happen. I've lost a lot of weight, look great with my clothes on, but when they come off....not so great. Plastic surgery is not an option. I'm muscular and fit, but the loose skin is not attractive (think shar-pei thighs, boobs are gone, and bat wings for arms). If the time comes where the clothes would be coming off, how have others approached what's hiding under the clothes? I have a feeling some men may be turned off by the extra skin. Thanks for any input .

[Manda87 3]

I think you would have to be up front with him if you decide to get intimate. I mean, don't say on the first date "I lost ___ pounds and now I have saggy skin." But when both of you decide to take your relationship to the next level, I do think some type of conversation is warranted.

My ex-boyfriend hasn't seen in me in over a year. We recently got back together, and he has seen me naked. I'm not done losing my weight, but I do look a bit saggy. He says he still likes me the way that I am, and I think I do believe him, lol.

[WhalePinner 0]

I don't think men will be turned off... they're usually just so excited to get a naked woman that nothing much else matters! If you're worried you should look to meet some other "like-sized" individuals. There's a good site on http://www.onlinedating.org - I think it's toward the bottom but it has something to do with bigger people looking to meet others like them. Hope that helps, and just remember it's all in your head - convince yourself you have the confidence to be your wonderful self!!

[barbie1978 22]

i just had this happen to me a few weeks ago....stayed off the market just for my own reasons...now i'm 2 years post op, moved to a new city (and state) and met someone who i click with SO WELL...and pretty much immediately....so not only did i have to get used to him thinking im HOT (yes, he thinks i'm hot..and he likes my ass...lmao i'm SO not used to that...i was always the 'girl with such a pretty face"), but we fooled around after only a few dates...i remember calling my cousin to ask her how to get over my body issues, but the date happened before i talked to her..and you know what? He didn't seem to mind one single bit. Sorry if this is TMI for anyone...but that night we actually slept all snuggled up....completely naked (omg still can't believe i was comfortable with that)....BODY ISSUES OVER...really quick. Do i still have them? Sure..you're going to for awhile...but i just keep telling myself, if HE doesns't care, why should i? Try not to stress about it too much....i'm WORKING on that now...but really, if when it happens he doesn't seem to be phased by it, you shouldn't either!