worried!

[beckynash3006 0]

Hiya!I am new to all of this! Basically this is my story - I am 21 years old and have always had a problem with my weight I am a binge eater and a total comfort eater - i go over the top and then try to lose weight and go really strict and controlling on my food and so I am always yo yoing. I have spoken to the doctor and I have such a negative mindset (which I hate) I stress over the way I look and how other people view me. I am anti depressants and my weight completely controls my life and I have got to the point that I am fed up of trying and putting it back on again and that the only way I can get my life back is with the band! However I am sooooo nervous!! I have always had such bad eating habits that I am scared and dont trust myself - what if I still eat crap? have any of you found it different after having the band, I am motivated to lose weight by thinking of all the dresses I could buy and could get noticed for once but I am petrifed, what if I have this done and nothing changes, and my emotions still make me want to eat will i still binge or is that physically impossible. what did everyone else find? I just can't stress how nervous I am - I know this is the only chance I have to do something wihtout things getting out of hand and doing something silly but like everyone says its not a miracle cure but i was hoping that with exercise (which i do about 3 times a week anyway) would fall off just because my stomach makes me eat less?!?!I just can't imagine carrying on this way I just want to be able to live my life and enjoy going on nights out without getting scared and comparing myself to others!help?!?! (sorry about all the negativity my mind is just in overdrive!)Becky xxx

[isaviolinist 11]

Hey Becky! Welcome to LBT :eek:

I am like you - a food addict, compulsive overeater, and binger. I've been that way since I was very young. When I was in middle school, after my parents would go to sleep, I would horde food in our play room (my parents transformed our basement into a play room/entertainment area for us...so there was a couch and a tv...perfect for secluded binging) and sit down there all night watching tv and sneaking food. If I thought I heard someone coming I'd stuff the food under pillows or in the couch cushions. I remember when I went to college feeling a sense of freedom because I could eat as much as I wanted without having to hide from my parents. I also get very particular food obsessions. There was 4-5 months where I was pretty much only eating cold peanut noodles. Then I went through a phase where I would have to eat 3-4 mushroom mozzarella panini from Panera everyday. At one point I felt like I had to go to Friday's everyday and get fried fish with a mashed potato appetizer. This particular obsessive compulsive food-associated behaviors are not unusual for people with eating disorders (both bulimia and compulsive overeating disorders).

Anyhow, the band has helped me in many many ways but I also have had/need to work on myself and my head issues. I certainly can't binge the way that I had before, and I don't really want to, but sometimes I will dive into food too fast (the old way) and then it gets stuck. I have struggled with knowing when to stop, since my previous eating habits were to just eat until I couldn't function. I have been getting much better with being content with not eating until I have to throw up. I repeat to myself on a daily basis (sometimes hourly) that there will be food for me to eat on a daily basis everyday for the rest of my life and its not necessary for me to eat EVERYTHING that comes to my mind (or within my eyesite) in one day/sitting and surprisingly this has helped me with my compulsion to eat. Food logs and calorie counting has been invaluable. When I am not food logging (or participating in this site and blogging for that matter) I find myself straying. I have also become structured about my meals. I plan my meals a week (or at least 4-5 days) in advance. That way, when I go to the supermarket, I know what Im there to get and I don't browse the aisle's picking up anything that looks good. I shop at whole foods and there are always samples. The fact that I log everything that goes in my mouth, prevents me from staying in the market and eating 800 calories worth of samples.

I will say that about 5-6 months in I completely fell off the wagon and went back to my old eating habits, except instead of sandwiches and other foods that would get stuck, I would order 5 extra large, extra thick milkshakes everyday. Or I'd eat 2 containers of Haagen Daaz ice cream (at over 1000 calories each). So I replaced my binge food with slider food. For some reason mac and cheese was a slider food for me and I'd eat it everyday. I gained 50 of the 80 pounds I had lost back doing that. I've now lose 40 of the 50 pounds I regained. Although I wish I didn't back track like that, its been an invaluable learning experience for me. I have become even more aware of my compulsive eating habits than I ever have which makes me more effective at what I'm trying to do with this band. So I don't completely regret the setback.

The band is a great tool, but for compulsive eaters (which many of us are/were) it take a tremendous amount of mental/emotional work too. So if you're prepared to put in the emotional work, the band can be a great tool for you! But if you're not ready, you may not get the results you are hoping for.

Feel free to send me a message if you want to talk!

[Mimilou2004 13]

Thank you for your thought provoking, soul baring post. Slider food is also my down fall and you are right on the money about having to work hard. I am glad you have been able to get the regained wt off.

Best wishes,

Mimi

[beckynash3006 0]

Thankyou so much for your post! that sounds exactly like me! I am willing to put the work in on my emotions but I always have been and negativity gets me in a spiral, i try and try and try to talk myself positive with the doctor etc but its hard and I just hope that with emotion eating it wont bring my downfall as in my head the band is the only thing left that can help and i thought that maybe for an eater like me it would really help! fingers crossed! I have got a good 8 stone i want to lose! eek! and christmas is my fave time of year and I will only be 4 weeks post op! thats going to be tough! after I have had the surgury do I feel no restrictions or anything in my food/lose weight and till i have my first fill?

sorry novice here!!

xxxx

[isaviolinist 11]

Thanks Mimi! I'm feeling much better now that I'm dropping the pounds again - I think slider foods are the downfall of many of us :thumbup:

Thankyou so much for your post! that sounds exactly like me! I am willing to put the work in on my emotions but I always have been and negativity gets me in a spiral, i try and try and try to talk myself positive with the doctor etc but its hard and I just hope that with emotion eating it wont bring my downfall as in my head the band is the only thing left that can help and i thought that maybe for an eater like me it would really help! fingers crossed! I have got a good 8 stone i want to lose! eek! and christmas is my fave time of year and I will only be 4 weeks post op! thats going to be tough! after I have had the surgury do I feel no restrictions or anything in my food/lose weight and till i have my first fill?

sorry novice here!!

xxxx

Well after surgery, the level of restriction really varies person to person. Some doctors put in a small fill at the time of surgery (which I'm not a fan of, because the stomach is swelling and trying to heal, and if it swells too much, you wont be able to get anything down and you'll need to go for an unfill....and the thought of anyone sticking a needle in my port right after surgery makes me cringe...my port pain took the longest to go away). However, some people feel restriction even with no fill after surgery. For many people, there isn't much restriction after surgery. So will-power is definitely needed for the first little while. Sometimes the proper restriction isn't reached until 2 or 3 or 4 adjustments. That's why its called bandster hell :eek: It really isnt easy. But its worth it to see the pounds melting away!

[Libbyjane1976 1]

The lapband will help control portion sizes but it will not help you out mentally. Unfortunately that is something you will have to deal with on your own because what's gonna happen is you are going to find a way to eat around your band (slider foods). I would definitely start seeing a counselor to help you out with your binge eating issues. Good luck!!

[bandedbob 1]

Well I am a comfort eater and emotional eater and I was banded in October - I have totally lost my appetite and have not had a fill yet - I am down 35 lbs on the pre-surgery diet (life style change), it sounds as though you understand yourself which is half the challenge . You can eat around the band (slider foods) and expand your stomach or eat lots of small meals. In the end its just a tool , self control, and making good choices seem to be the key to success.

best of luck to you !