First emotional breakdown today...

[casinocat74 0]

Hello everybody. Well I had my very first emotional breakdown today. I thought I was doing just fine, then all of a sudden I started crying really bad and trying to explain to my fiance what was going on in my head. Of course he doesn't understand because he has always been very thin. I was just banded last wednesday but it all started when I realized I couldn't just have him pick up dinner on his way home as we always did. I am so used to just eating whatever I want and not caring about it. And now I am having to choose liquids and other things that are just not appealing to me. Don't get me wrong, I do not regret having this done! I guess I am just getting used to the whole idea of not really having any control over what I eat for right now. Mentally, I want to go to Chili's and have my favorite sandwich in the world! But physically I am not hungry, and don't care what I eat. This really is alot harder than I though it would be. I know that in time it will get easier, but on a day like today when I was at home all alone, everything just started getting to me. I am very happy and excited about making a change and loosing weight, I just never thought I would have such an emotional attachment to food. It's more of a memory thing for me. Alot of good memories I have all include some kind of yummy lunch or dinner. Oh well, I'm sure tomorrow will be a better day! Thankyou all for letting me vent!! Happy holidays to everyone!!

(oh and I hate TV commercials!!!!!)

[Jachut 487]

It helped me to make the decision to have the band by thinking of it like this: I too ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted to. I was very afraid of no longer being able to do that and decided for a time not to get a band. But I realised that if I was going to lose weight for good - band or no - I could never eat that way again anyway.

It's like bemoaning not being able to have Christmas dinner because I'm still on liquids. To my way of thinking - HOORAY - where is the pleasure in overindulging, feeling awful, feeling guilty and gaining weight. Having to start again from scratch on another bloody diet, same old new year's resolution again, blah blah blah. I'm GLAD I wont be on that treadmill this Christmas.

It's all positive! You will be able to eat more normally again eventually but no, you can never go back to the way you were or you will end up weighing what you did. There is so much more to enjoy about life than food! I hope you truly feel that soon.

[ladysplenda 1]

I feel your pain.Wait a while before going out to eat with anyone. That is when I snapped.We went to a fish resturant three weeks out.I ordered a childs plate no fries.

My husband ordered a four piece fried catfish dinner. The plates came .I had a tiny little piece of grilled fish and a tiny cup of beans.He had a hugh plate piled with fries, Beans, hush puppies and four hugh pieces of fish.I lost it, I almost started crying and I chewed him out for not ordering a baked potatoe that he could share with me instead of fries. I felt like such a B.It is getting better.

[HarleyNana 10]

That happened to me on about my 3rd day. My son was sitting beside me and had brought home an order of sushi, I thought, OMG, what have I done! Then the wonderful people here reminded me this is only temporary, that I'd eventually be able to eat real food again, but I would be more inclined to make better choices.

It will pass and you'll be so glad you've taken this giant step to improve your health and life.

[giveyouthemoon 4]

casinocat74 look at your melt down this way.....we've all got to go through it....you just got there fast. Me, it took me a while before I got there. I was so excited about the band and into the new thing that I didn't think about what I was missing. That came later. And yeah, I melted down BIG TIME.

You have to go through this hon. You have to have moments of "OH MY GOD WHAT DID I DO??!?!?!?!" in order to get to the place where you are good.

Liquids is a tough time. We all had to do it. Gut up girl! You can do it and you'll be SOOOOO happy in the long run!!!! The band is worth it, it really is. Right now you just have to work on your own power. But that lasts only a little while.

Hey, I just discovered sugar free hot chocolate. That is comfort food if there ever was. Get you some. Heck get the real sugar kind!!!

The key to liquid phase is getting creative!!!! Hang in there and keep posting. Your LBT family is here for you!!!

[mousecrazy 2]

It's going to be okay, hon. Look at the panic as a sign of how important food is to you, and why you chose to do something about it. I still find great pleasure in food, and all the memories associated with it. I still enjoy most of the foods I used to enjoy. But ONE cookie at a time, instead of 10. One-half a roll, instead of 4. Embrace the melt-down as a part of the process, and chin up! You are going to be fine.

Cindy

[casinocat74 0]

It is really nice to know that I have a place I can go to and tell everyone how I am feeling, and they will truly all understand what I am going through. Thank you all for your kind words, they have made me feel alot better today! I guess I was in denial about my emotional attachment to food. I never thought it would hit me like this. But I know I will be okay. The cool thing about Christmas dinner is that my family is going to eat before I get there so that I do not feel uncomfortable. And my mom is making me a special yogurt drink. I am just looking forward to the presents!!!

[DeLarla 22]

Hey girl, when you need to cry, call me and yell at me. Like in Steel Magnolias when Olympia Dukacus (sp?) told Sally Field to hit Shirley McClain. HIT 'ER, HIT WHEEZER!

[MsButterKup23 1]

It will be okay. We all go through this especially when we are on liquids and think we will never eat normal again.

I've had 2 fills and I'm getting ready for another after the first of the year. I have noticed that my band makes me eat healtier and behave. I can pretty much eat whatever I am craving, but just a bite or two and then I get rid of it (throw it away or give it to someone else), just enough to say I had some and tasted it.

You learn to move on and focus on other things. I know what foods will make me sick and associate vomitting with them, it really helps. LOL

((((((HUGS)))))) and best wishes!

[jjspets 0]

I still have 2 weeks till I get banded and I think I will have eaten the whole state of Mississippi by then:) Thanks for giving me he heads up so I can warn my husband about the mood changes. POOR BABY just finished goin thru the changes with me and he thought the worst was done. I think he is getting tired of hearing"well this is the last time I eat this" I wish you luck and dont forget there is a reason for prozac and I think this life change qualifies

[vinesqueen 2]

One thing that people don't quite understand that a big BIG part of being banded is the mental things that go along with it. I don't know if we can ever be completely prepaired for the emotions that come up.

[Jammin & Losin 1]

So glad your feeling a little better today!!! It does get better with time... and you will be able to eat again. The more weight you lose and with each day I think you will gain strength and also find a better understanding of exactly how much food has a hold on you... I know I have and still have days that are good and bad... but I would never trade in my band. I love the difference it makes in my life and my food choices. Good luck in your continued success!!

[Cheri 0]

I can honestly say that I feel your pain ~ actually I felt the EXACT same pain over the weekend!! It really stinks right now, doesn't it? Everyone has said that once you get on solids it will be easier. Boy I sure hope so!! I don't really feel like eating, but just driving by a steakhouse starts the mouth watering and visions of a big fat steak begin dancing through my head!!! Oh well!

Good luck girlie, and know that you definitely are not alone in this!! I for one am here looking for and giving support - you lean on me and I'll lean on you, that way we don't have to sleep with our heads in the mud (My favorite Forrest Gump quote!!)

Love~cheri

[cherycl 0]

I can relate! I was so excited about being banded--I couldn't wait. In fact, on the day of my surgery my procedure was moved up to the first one of the day -- I almost skipped into the OR.

Up to the point of beginning the pre-op liquid diet, I was having one last goodbye's to the foods that might not be in my life any longer.

Two days after the surgery, I was in bed during the day and all of a sudden the thought struck me, "what have I done?". I felt like I was mourning the loss of a friend that had always been there for me. It lasted a couple of hours and I realized there was no turning back and ultimately I was pretty sure I was going to be happier and healthier.

The next day, three days post-op, I stayed home when my husband went to his sister's home for Thanksgiving dinner. I just couldn't face all that food. When he came home, I asked how dinner was. Well, the turkey breast was a mail-order, pre-cooked turkey, injected with lots of salty chemicals. There were no mashed potatoes and gravy, etc., etc. I wouldn't have enjoyed the meal because I am a very picky eater.

Later this week, we are going to my Dad's for Christmas dinner. I am now on regular foods and will be able to enjoy a small amount of all my favorites. That was exactly what I wanted to be able to do. Small portions, no seconds, enjoy the good food and good company!

However, I understand that twinge of "mourning".

I am looking forward to my first fill because at this point I don't feel restriction and am working hard to control my food urges. Right now it feels like I am dieting! Also, I still think about food alot and I am hoping that once I can only eat a few bites, because I feel the restriction, I will focus less on food.

Hang in there!

Chery

Banded 11/21/05

[DiSanders 1]

I am not sure if my mood is related to my banding, or just general depression. I was warned about being depressed, but I thought I would be too excited about losing the weight. I was banded 3 weeks ago today-I am down 19 pounds. I am having no real problems with my band and am eating small amounts of pretty much whatever I like. So what's the problem? I am so down in the dumps. I can barely get myself out of bed. I haven't even sent my Christmas cards or finished decorating for the holidays-let alone wrap all of the presents for my family. I can barely force myself to go to work, even though we only have 2 more days until Christmas break. No matter how much I sleep, it's all I want to do. The only thing I can think to do is try to get more protein-I'm not using the powder like everyone recommends. I kicked caffeine before my surgery-so it's not withdrawal. I am just generally sad-apathetic...Is this part of the banding process-part of holiday stress-or a combination of both?