What Am I doing?!?

[krasc001 0]

Exactly!! Christina353. Please friend me because that is where I am coming from. Even though, I have my doubts, I still feel like this could be a really good thing for me. By hook or by crook, I am going to continue to pursue having the surgery. Thanks for your words of wisdom!!

I agree you need a new therapist. Did your doctor recommend this one? I was in a situation similar to you. I had a bmi of 37. I am 5'3 and weighed 210. I could wear a size 16 or 18.(heck, if the designer was generous I could wear a 14). Alot of people told me that I did not need the surgery. they said your not that big. But I felt uncomfortable in my own skin. All that matters is how You feel about You.:laugh:

[purple3797 5]

I am a therapist and I think that there are good ones, bad ones and uneducated ones ..like in any field. You need to talk to someone who understands weight issues wls and you and then helps you come to a decision and does not make it for you. A good therapist can only listen and help the client find their own answers withing themselves.

[CheckYes 46]

Four years ago, I looked in to the LapBand. I talked to my therapist about it and he somehow convinced me it was too risky and was a bad idea. I think, at the time, that he thought therapy alone could help me through this. I was willing to see it his way and give therapy a real shot at helping me with the weight and body issues. Here I am, four years later, thirty pounds heavier than I was four years ago and in the same exact boat when it comes to weight, body and food. I still sometimes feel that he was being selfish then - I haven't said that to him - but I think I need to say it.

I am not saying therapy hasn't helped me. It has - in SO many amazing ways - but the weight/body/food stuff is very difficult for me to talk about so I avoid it as much as possible in therapy.

I am waiting for my surgery date now. Once I get it, I plan to tell my therapist (the same one who talked me out of it before) about the surgery. This time, I don't have doubt about getting the surgery like I did before. This time, I know for sure that I need it. I can't do it all on my own. I need the help that the lap band will provide.

I guess what I am saying is - don't let yourself be talked out of something. Ask her why she thinks you aren't a candidate. Tell her the risks associated with Lap Band are not as great as she may think. Give her the literature on the lap band and then ask to discuss it with her. Stick to your guns and be informed and prepared to tell her why YOU think it is a good option for you.

Best wishes,

[ardelia 41]

I think that the advice to get a new therapist just because you don't hear what you WANT to is odd. The therapist looks at you in a way that you cannot - from the outside.

Were I in your shoes, I would ASK for the reasons(s) that I was thought not to be a good candidate. Maybe there has been a misunderstanding or some kind of confusion??

Hopping around from one therapist (or doctor/surgeon) to another just to find one who tells you what you want to hear is strange and reeks of desperation and a possibly unwell mental state.

[samomom 19]

I think that the advice to get a new therapist just because you don't hear what you WANT to is odd. The therapist looks at you in a way that you cannot - from the outside.

Were I in your shoes, I would ASK for the reasons(s) that I was thought not to be a good candidate. Maybe there has been a misunderstanding or some kind of confusion??

Hopping around from one therapist (or doctor/surgeon) to another just to find one who tells you what you want to hear is strange and reeks of desperation and a possibly unwell mental state.

Ardelia, I am assuming you've never seen or needed a therapist. Most everyone who has needs to try a few to find who they are comfortable with and that isn't an indicator of desperation to only hear what they want.

I think it's also a stretch to call someone mentally unwell when you don't know them, their background, or anything else, just based on a simple post. She doesn't seem like a nut to me. Anyone who can recognize that they have issues and can make a concerted effort to get to a therapist and doctor is doing better than someone who is crazy.

Edited October 28, 2010 by mdhannant

[honk 780]

I think the thread starter should speak to a surgeon it they have'nt already to discuss whether they are a good candidate for WLS. Even some medical doctors (as we've read many times on this site) are not informed about the different kinds of surgery. There are times when you need to change doctors. I was going to a Orthopedist who was a huge jerk. He said "lose some weight" and gave me some pills and off he went. While I did start excerising and lost some weight he really made me feel bad about myself and I never went back. When I finally got the courage to get treatment elsewhere the doctor asked "why did you stop going to Doctor A". When I told him he said "Thanks for being honest with me. Doctor's would never be rude to someone because they were black or handicaped but some have no problem being rude because your fat." Sure medical professionals can tell you things that are true but you just don't like it. But it is also true that they may not an expert on everything.

[ardelia 41]

Ardelia, I am assuming you've never seen or needed a therapist. Most everyone who has needs to try a few to find who they are comfortable with and that isn't an indicator of desperation to only hear what they want.

I think it's also a stretch to call someone mentally unwell when you don't know them, their background, or anything else, just based on a simple post. She doesn't seem like a nut to me. Anyone who can recognize that they have issues and can make a concerted effort to get to a therapist and doctor is doing better than someone who is crazy.

I have neither seen nor needed a therapist. I had the required pre-op visit to see a psych, but that is all.

She does not seem like a nut to you. Are you a therapist? Do you know anything about this person other than what she chooses to let you know about her through her posts? People can be anything they want to be online.

For the record, my comment was not a slam on any one person. Listen, there are a lot of people who get this surgery that really should never have been considered for one reason or another (hiding an eating disorder or lying about being an alcoholic, for example). (I personally know of two people like this.) In fact, there are posts on this very board by people where it is screamingly obvious that they should not get this surgery - at least not till mental things are sorted out.

My friend (who IS a licensed psychologist, BTW) has been lurking on this site to see what I have been reading because she is concerned about me getting this surgery. She flat-out told me that she worries that many people seem to be getting this surgery and that they really need psychiatric help instead. Thinking that a Lap-Band is a panacea will lead only to disappointment and - most likely - weight gain.

[krasc001 0]

Thank you ladies for all the advice. I did in fact ask her why she thought this was so and she said because I am not morbidly obese and she does not think I am mentally ready for the surgery. A majority of my sessions with her have been centered around my "fixation" (as she calls it) with my weight. Now yes, I feel that my weight has affected my self confidence so that was a big reason why I was going to her but I don't know if I was fixated on it. I just would like to see if this thing could work for me. I have spent so much time in my life feeling worthless and not good enough, and now that my weight has topped off to 250, I feel well in pain from, my back and feet, etc. I am continuing to stay in prayer to ensure that I am making the right decision. But I will continue to seek out having the surgery because I feel it would be good for me. NO, my life is not going to be PERFECT after it, but if I assist the band and allow it to assist me, it could get some of my health and food issues under control.

In closing, back to my therapist. She really does mean well and has my best interests at heart, I guess she was being honest. My main reason for going to her about this was to seek out a recommendation letter (to be sent to insurance) WHICH she says she will write explaining my history with weight and its connection to my depression BUT she will NOT write that I am an excellent candidate. Going to her has improved my outlook on life and how to control my pessimism and being so hard on myself, so seeing her has been beneficial. I guess I just see the women on this website and how you all have achieved so much. I'm damn near thirty and it's really time to see some positive changes in my life..IM READY.

Thanks again for your words of wisdom. All the best.

[LeighaMason 19]

Krasc--

The reason I asked if your therapist was medically trained is because I was wondering if he/she was qualified to give medical advice, not because I thought you should change.

I am a firm believer that there is a prejudice both within and outside of the medical field that says if you are overweight you have a mental disorder. My stomach was big, that is why I was obese and my big stomach was hungry, now I have a little stomach and it gets full with an appropriate amount of food and stays full for several hours. I was not obese because I had a mental disorder, I did not need therapy, I needed a smaller stomach pouch. The band helps me with physical hunger. Before I was banded it took an enormous amount of food at one sitting for me to feel full. I was physically hungry..Now I am not.

I sometimes eat for pleasure, just because something tastes good but for the most part the band fixed my problem. My problem was large portions. I have also seen the band help with people who are sweet eaters and grazers as well. I have heard them say, "Now that I am not hungry all day I make better choices."

I'm sick and tired of people thinking that because someone is obese they are ________ (Fill in the blank with any of the following lazy, crazy, poor, uneducated, etc....):sneaky: We don't put up with prejudice about other physical conditions!

OH crap, I'm on my soapbox again... Sorry y'all!

[krasc001 0]

Hi Leigha,

Yes my therapist is also an RN so that is another reason why I sought out her advice, but still I feel like although I am not your perfect candidate for it (over my existing 250lbs, with tons of comorbidities), I would much like to see if the lap band can work for me. I just like food...a little too much and I am also a sweets eater which I am hoping the band can assist in me taming. In the long run, I would like it to trick my mind and then it just becomes a habit for me to eat a reasonable and moderate amount.

Krasc--

The reason I asked if your therapist was medically trained is because I was wondering if he/she was qualified to give medical advice, not because I thought you should change.

I am a firm believer that there is a prejudice both within and outside of the medical field that says if you are overweight you have a mental disorder. My stomach was big, that is why I was obese and my big stomach was hungry, now I have a little stomach and it gets full with an appropriate amount of food and stays full for several hours. I was not obese because I had a mental disorder, I did not need therapy, I needed a smaller stomach pouch. The band helps me with physical hunger. Before I was banded it took an enormous amount of food at one sitting for me to feel full. I was physically hungry..Now I am not.

I sometimes eat for pleasure, just because something tastes good but for the most part the band fixed my problem. My problem was large portions. I have also seen the band help with people who are sweet eaters and grazers as well. I have heard them say, "Now that I am not hungry all day I make better choices."

I'm sick and tired of people thinking that because someone is obese they are ________ (Fill in the blank with any of the following lazy, crazy, poor, uneducated, etc....):sneaky: We don't put up with prejudice about other physical conditions!

OH crap, I'm on my soapbox again... Sorry y'all!

[AngryBaby 2]

just to put in my two cents. Just because someone is a RN doesn't mean that that truely understand what the lapband is. I have family members in the medical field. Not all of them fully understood the concept of the band. They just believed it was a form of the gastric bypass. Remember that old saying about if you assume... it makes an A$$ out of U and ME. Don't take everything at face value. Good luck on your journey!

[Catherine55 43]

Don't let your therapist deter you if this is something you want. I love my band, and I don't regret having this surgery for even a second. I had a 37 BMI (230 pounds at 5'6) when I started this process two years ago. I am now just below my goal and am in the best shape of my life. I could not have done this without my band.

Take a look at my blog (link below) and other bandster blogs to get an idea of what banded life is like. I wrote about what the surgery was like at the beginning of the blog, in case you want to hear more about that.

I love being banded, and it has let me enjoy food, going out, etc. even more than before because I no longer have guilt about eating and I don't feel like cr*p about my weight anymore.

Am sending best wishes for you to make the best decision for yourself,

Catherine

[123crod 170]

A therapist should listen and help you work through any problems you have and come to your own conclusion as to what you should do. You do not have to be crazy to see one. It is the smart people who seek out help when they need it.

Also not all overweight people need to see one, people are overweight because of all types of reasons.

Cheri

Cheri

[krasc001 0]

First let me say you look spectacular in that dress!! I will definately check out your blog. Thanks so much for your words of wisdom.

All the best,

Don't let your therapist deter you if this is something you want. I love my band, and I don't regret having this surgery for even a second. I had a 37 BMI (230 pounds at 5'6) when I started this process two years ago. I am now just below my goal and am in the best shape of my life. I could not have done this without my band.

Take a look at my blog (link below) and other bandster blogs to get an idea of what banded life is like. I wrote about what the surgery was like at the beginning of the blog, in case you want to hear more about that.

I love being banded, and it has let me enjoy food, going out, etc. even more than before because I no longer have guilt about eating and I don't feel like cr*p about my weight anymore.

Am sending best wishes for you to make the best decision for yourself,

Catherine

[kellyodoran 12]

If you go to a good qualified lap band surgeon, they usually have a therapist who is knowledgeable about this specific procedure!

Besides, it is You who are living in your body and know if you are unhappy with Your body.

At my highest weight I was 262, I was miserable! I couldn't care less if some therapist told me I shouldn't do this! I couldn't care less what anyone thought.......I wanted this! NO-one could have talked me out of it!

Just do some more research yourself! And I hate to say it, but can the therapist!

Peace out

~Kelly~:thumbup: