mental set back...

[trishfish 1]

ok so i have been chugging right along, so happy with my band and so happy with my results.:thumbup:

Then today happened....we suffered a pretty big financial set back...and after the tears...i went straight to the kitchen. And ate...and ate...then cried some more.:sleep:

so now that this has passed six or so hours ago i am able to realize what i just did....

the question is how do i not do it again? im going to be honest and say this journey has been, for the most part, easy. it took me three fills...1 stuck episode...and a complete mental turn around from day one (or so i thought until today!) i work out every single day and fast food and soda dont even tempt me. i have not desire for it. I have not been tempted by the chips in the house until today...or the crackers or anything else that's ''bad'' for me...

i just feel mildly defeated. I know tomrrow is a new day...but today isnt over...and i have been FIGHTING myself not to eat anymore!!!!!!!

[samndaisy64 0]

Hey Trishfish,

Sorry about your upsetting day. i'm sure most of us on here can relate to eating emotionally. The difference now, (in my opinion), is that you recognized what you did. It took me a long time to recognize when I get emotional that I eat eat eat. Don't beat yourself up. Find something positive to do tonight...watch a movie, work out, both or anything else that will make you feel good. Focus on that positive tomorrow so that you remember today as a positive rather than a negative when you get back on the band wagon.

Just my thoughts. Hope it helps, and hope tomorrow is a wonderful day! HUGS

[jlball 0]

Financial problems are the worst for triggering....it will certainly not be your last time, but you are figuring it out each time! maybe think about something that you could eat that wouldn't be too damaging and save it for these really stressful moments...that special treat.

Sometimes no strategy, no matter how well planned can work and you just have to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again. You CAN do it, you have done it and you will continue to do it!! Hang in there, forgive yourself and move on to tomorrow!

[Alycopp 0]

Hey, sorry to hear you are having some problems. I can relate, my husband and I have been through hell the past two years. We both just recently had lapband(like the last month) and I can def. emotionally eat. We are looking at lapband as our new beginning and focusing on that to try to take the focus off the bad. Every day is a new day. Look at today as your cheat day. Everyone has a cheat day where you eat something you shouldn't have or have been really craving. The trick is it is just today. You had a bad day and if you are facing financial problems you will most likely have a few more. You are prepared for it now. You know your trigger and are better prepared to deal with it next time. Don't beat yourself up, you are facing enough without doing that. I can tell you that you will be ok. I am still here fighting 2 years into financial problems(and when I say problems I mean forclosure is imminent) and I am ok. Good luck to you and keep your head up.

[cwm812 11]

Trish, you are going to be ok.

When bad stuff happens, we just revert to our old habits and none of us got to lap-band surgery by not eating under stress. I don't know how much you ate, but my guess is that it is nothing like what you would have done before banding. Yeah, you slipped up and you probably will again some day, but the goal is to keeping going. You are going to have this band for a very long time, and life will happen to you along the way. Do the best you can, forgive yourself for mistakes, and get right back in the game. I always figure that I'm not defeated until I quit. You don't sound like a quitter to me.

Cindy

[katiejane 3]

Trish, sorry about your setback, I am an emotional eater too. Your previous posts that I have read have always encouraged me and show you have the strength to turn this round. Good luck

[WrenBird 11]

Hey,

I'm really sorry about your issues. I wish the best for you <3

The last time I was craving food I ate a pizza. This is before I was banded and was trying desperately to lose weight. I felt horrible afterwards. I wrote down exactly how bad I felt in a letter and put it on my desk. I read it everytime I feel like eating something bad.

I also tried a new technique today. I walked around in the lolly section of clints and look at everything and instead of imagining how amazing it'd taste, I imagine how bad I'd feel afterwards. I also imagine the pain of it going through my band.

I hope this helps. It's been helping me so far, but don't forget...It's ok to slip up once and a while. I don't condone it, but it happens and you've just gotta get back on the horse and put that behind you.

I hope you're ok <3 These things happen...Everyone goes through it at one stage. You'll be fine. You've done so well.

Cheers,

WrenBird.

[MLBL 2]

I have found Overeaters Anonymous to be very helpful with this type of issue. Really, we eat for the same reason other people drink. And it is IMO harder to control it because alcoholics can avoid alcohol and we have to eat food. However, the first step is recognizing it happens. Too bad we can't get our head banded :blushing:

[WrenBird 11]

I have found Overeaters Anonymous to be very helpful with this type of issue. Really, we eat for the same reason other people drink. And it is IMO harder to control it because alcoholics can avoid alcohol and we have to eat food. However, the first step is recognizing it happens. Too bad we can't get our head banded :blushing:

Hey, it's funny you should mention that! I looked into that the other day. I noticed the steps were highly based around the belief in god though. I'm not a believer, so I sort of felt that wouldn't work for me. Do you know if there's anyway around that?

[stateofzen 46]

I'm sorry about this financial stressor and agree-- you can't change the past, so try not to beat yourself up over the slip. The good sign is that you came on here to post about how not to do it, rather than giving up and deciding you can't help it. Good for you!

Obviously one of the things to do is to figure out something else to do to cope with stress. What else besides food makes you feel good? A hot bath or shower? A walk? Some cuddle time in bed with your pets? Grabbing your camera to go outside and find interesting things to take pictures of? Scrapbooking? Doesn't matter-- as long as you can replace food with something else that makes you feel good.

The other thing to watch out for is how you're talking to yourself when you're stressed. What kind of thoughts were running through your head as you made the decision to turn to food to cope? What kind of thoughts were running through your head as you ate to cope? You might not remember now, but there were thoughts that spurred on your behavior and in the future, be on the lookout for that first one that leads down the slippery slope.

They might have been things like "I can't handle this!" or "why does it matter if I lose weight when we're dealing with this financial problem", or "I can't control myself" or "Now that I've started, I've failed so I might as well keep eating."

If you can catch those thoughts early and recognize them as lies (I like to say to myself-- "I'm lying to myself here, or My stress is lying to me"), and then start thinking rationally and willfully and purposefully substituting more healthy thoughts, then you can feel a better sense of control over what you're doing. And, as a nice side bonus, your emotions will be a little less intense too. You may still be stressed, but a thought like "I can't handle this" is attached to a much stronger stressful emotion than a thought like "This is hard, but I can handle it."

[vlp1968 83]

You don't say how much you ate. Do you think you need a fill? If you have restriction you shouldn't have been able to binge. All the other advice above is great! I hope it helps and your problems resolve quickly.

[BetsyB 9]

Trish, I'm sorry you are having a rough time. Big setbacks in life do tend to trigger our old behaviors.

Thing is, you've made tremendous progress. Even though you reverted to old behaviors, you recognize them---and that is winning the battle.

Being aware is 99.9 percent of the battle. And you are aware.

So next time, you may be able to nip it in the bud. Or, you may find that it takes more practice.

Either way, you will be gaining experience, and practicing.

Mastering new skills does take practice; be sure you don't beat yourself up when you are, in fact, making good progress.

[trishfish 1]

thank you everyone for your amazing words of encouragement. you all helped take that "guilt" off my shoulders. I awoke this morning with a new sense of determination! part of my problem is I tend to be a control freak....and when something happens I can't control, the situation gets worse. haha wish they had control freaks anonymous! (control has been something I have been going to therapy fr years for!)

this morning before church I went to the gym. its funny but working out ,for me , relaxes me. so next time I am stressing I will get in the car go to the gym! and then maybe a bubble bath and work on scrapbooking (all things that calm me down...GREAT advice!)

as far as needing a fill....i could probably get a small one, but I am having surgery in a few weeks and I want to wait till after that....i also like to keep my band a little on the loser side...i eat usually about 3/4 c of food...but I am so active my doc said I need a littlle more than some (i have a VERY high activity job and also work out every day) I probably ate about three cups of food over a two hour time period....and it was ALL junk! I feel it coming through my opres today! and my belly is not happy with me! thanks again :blushing:

[Cocoabean 430]

Hey, it's funny you should mention that! I looked into that the other day. I noticed the steps were highly based around the belief in god though. I'm not a believer, so I sort of felt that wouldn't work for me. Do you know if there's anyway around that?

It isn't God as in the Christian God or any other established religion. It is a power greater than yourself. Which is whatever YOU determine it to be. It is a spiritual journey, but no one can tell you just what that power is for you. The third step states "as we understood Him."

For the founders of AA, it may have been the Christian God, but that doesn't mean it has to be for you. Each person's journey through the steps is different.

It can take someone years to work through the steps. You might attend meetings for years and do well on the program while still working on coming to terms with Step 2. "Came to believe a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity."

[BetsyB 9]

The higher Power can even be the group---working with the support of a group gives us greater power than if we struggle alone.

(I'm Unitarian Universalist; many members do not believe in God, but we all believe that as a group, we have power to make great changes. If I were in a 12-Step program, I would choose to view the "higher power" in this way.)