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If one more person tells me about the friend of a friend they know who had WLS and the person failed at it or gained it all back I will smack them.

I was thinking about it. Imagine walking up to someone who was diagnosed with cancer and they choose treatment. Then imagine someone walking up to them and discussing all the people they have ever heard of who died or "failed" their treatment process..

Next time I am at a wedding, I will walk up to the couple and spout divorce statistics. LOL

Just venting.....LOL

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Next time I am at a wedding, I will walk up to the couple and spout divorce statistics. LOL

Just venting.....LOL

LOL . that's funny!

I agree. I have heard all the stories about someone's second cousin's friend who knew someone that put back on all the weight ........ I usually just say, "oh, that's too bad." or "something must have gone wrong."

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I actually have a slightly different experience with this. I didn't tell anyone about my op.When I eventually told my one friend she was so impressed with me as she knows people that have had a band and not worked with it, so she knows that it isn't as easy as some people think. Apparently the one guy got banded but never went for fills and someone else she knows didn't lose weight as she just stuffed herself with junk food. So for me it has been a positive rather than a negative reaction.

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If one more person tells me about the friend of a friend they know who had WLS and the person failed at it or gained it all back I will smack them.

I was thinking about it. Imagine walking up to someone who was diagnosed with cancer and they choose treatment. Then imagine someone walking up to them and discussing all the people they have ever heard of who died or "failed" their treatment process..

Next time I am at a wedding, I will walk up to the couple and spout divorce statistics. LOL

Just venting.....LOL

Hi Tracy, my friend and I have been big ever since we've known each other. When I told her I was getting a band, she said "oh yeah, a woman at work had that done, but she put it all back on again and more besides..."

When she'd gone, my partner said "I can translate what she really meant, which was "oh no, now you'll be slim and I'll still be fat...."

I don't know what makes people tell failure stories, unless it's the only thing they've heard about LAP-BAND® so they reel it off their tongue.

Another friend also said to me "WHAT? you've agreed to have surgery on the 13th of the month? Unlucky or what??"

I think we just have to excuse them... in terms of thinking deeply about the whole procedure, we are miles and miles ahead of them.

The nicest responses are when people say "Wow! congratulations on making such a big life decision. I wish you well!!!"

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LOL!!

I here those stories too and wouldn't you know it's my overweight friends that are telling them. I think they are either scared or jealous or maybe even both.

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Heard that during RPM class yesterday. Two different people talking about people they know who had a band and didn't lose weight.. or lost it and regained.

And I raised my hands (both) and said.. I have a band. It does work if you work it. It's not a magic wand.

The nay-sayers just need to be educated. It does get tedious though.

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Heard that during RPM class yesterday. Two different people talking about people they know who had a band and didn't lose weight.. or lost it and regained.

And I raised my hands (both) and said.. I have a band. It does work if you work it. It's not a magic wand.

The nay-sayers just need to be educated. It does get tedious though.

you are right about that! I just read an article yesterday I think it was in Family Circle. Anyway this lady had gastric bypass and lost 80 pounds then gained it all back and then some. A couple of years later she decided she really was ready to lose weight so she started eating better and working out daily and lost it all. She said she just wasn't ready the first time around so she didn't use her surgery correctly.

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I so understand what you all are saying. I went through this same thing. Pulling into the hospital the day of my surgery my brother tells me " my mother in laws neighbor was buried just a week ago from the surgery." She set up infection.. ARE YOU SERIOUS!!! Telling me this as I pull into the hospital.

How insane do you have to be to say something like that.

I have heard alot of hate stories but really it just puts something in me to want to prove them all wrong and give them a personal success story to tell..

My BFF in all the world is still not supportive of me getting banded and says I will be no fun now. Wow... No fun because we wont be able to sit down and put away a whole large pizza a 2 liter and a 4 pack of reece's bp cups.. (which to my shame we have done, just 2 ladies) Really now, is that what made me fun,, food.. How sad, maybe she will have to learn to like me for me.. Just saying.

Hang in there, and just give them a success story to tell.

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I think we all experience this...and actually when I was having a lump removed from my neck a few years ago that they thought might be cancerous wouldn't you know someone mentioned someone they knew that had that and just died? Folks can be rather thoughtless sometimes.

As far as the failure stories - sometimes I think it definately stems from jealousy, but others I think it is because it is the only close experience that they have had with WLS surgery...and since it was negative thats all they know? When I got mine I did know of some folks who had lost some, but not all they wanted to, but they hadn't gained any back yet either.

I guess it is human nature to want knock them into next week when they are so unsupportive....but let me tell you, it has been fabulous to prove them wrong! I just nod and smile when I hear yet another failure story, tell them that yes it is not a cure all, and it is a LOT more work than folks think....and then my sucess tell the story. Maybe then they will at least have a positive example to tell with their negative ones!

Kim

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I am with you on that!!! They love failure because they are LAZY... can't deal with change!!! they want to say.. "well I will stay fat.. nothing works" Wayne Gretsky said " you will Fail at 100 percent of the shots you DON'T take.." We at least are taking a shot!

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Another friend also said to me "WHAT? you've agreed to have surgery on the 13th of the month? Unlucky or what??"

"

I had mine on FRIDAY THE 13th no less!!! All went well! :-)

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I have to admit that I was glad my surgery was Thursday 8/12. I would have been too embarrased to move it from Friday 13!

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The failure stories are good in a sense that they remind us that surgery is not a panacea.

The stories about people dying also help us realize that all surgery is major, no matter how simple it may seem.

On another note, you're in NYC, remind them of the people that get shot because they don't keep their big mouths shut. :cursing:

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Yep, people are amazing. My ex-SIL told me that putting something foreign in your body like the band was "unnatural". I said "you mean like an artificial heart or hip replacement that save life and limb?" ... she just started speaking to me again last Friday. LOL!!! We work in the same building in downtown L.A. and rarely run into each other. When I saw her on Friday, she didn't mention all the weight I've lost. LOL She was alway bigger than me, and now she is even bigger. Oh well.

I know a few people that had gastric bypass and gained back most if not all. But, that's not me and there is nothing that says that I have to follow in their footsteps. It is up to me alone to fail or succeed. What I put into it is what I will get out.

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. ~Herm Albright, quoted in Reader's Digest, June 1995

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I know exactly what you mean. I have had people that have had good success with gastric really look down on me because I chose lap band, including my doctor!

I finally figured out why my dr wanted me to have gastric bypass instead of banding - I finally got out of him that he didn't want me to be disappointed in my results because it took longer to get the weight off. Really with that?!?

He even told my mom in the recovery room that he isn't going to tell me I told you so.

Well, the stubborn person I am, there is no way in Hades that anyone is ever going to be able to say "I told you so"! Come heck or high Water I am getting ALL of this extra weight off of me.

Maybe they are using reverse psychology on me :cursing:

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    • BabySpoons

      Sometimes reading the posts here make me wonder if some people just weren't mentally ready for WLS and needed more time with the bariatric team psychiatrist. Complaining about the limited drink/food choices early on... blah..blah...blah. The living to eat mentality really needs to go and be replaced with eating to live. JS
      · 2 replies
      1. Bypass2Freedom

        We have to remember that everyone moves at their own pace. For some it may be harder to adjust, people may have other factors at play that feed into the unhealthy relationship with food e.g. eating disorders, trauma. I'd hope those who you are referring to address this outside of this forum, with a professional.


        This is a place to feel safe to vent, seek advice, hopefully without judgement.


        Compassion goes a long way :)

      2. BabySpoons

        Seems it would be more compassionate not to perform a WLS on someone until they are mentally ready for it. Unless of course they are on death's door...

    • Theweightisover2024🙌💪

      Question for anyone, how did you get your mind right before surgery? Like as far as eating better foods and just doing better in general? I'm having a really hard time with this. Any help is appreciated 🙏❤️
      · 2 replies
      1. NickelChip

        I had about 6 months between deciding to do surgery and getting scheduled. I came across the book The Pound of Cure by Dr. Matthew Weiner, a bariatric surgeon in Arizona, and started to implement some of the changes he recommended (and lost 13 lbs in the process without ever feeling deprived). The book is very simple, and the focus is on whole, plant based foods, but within reason. It's not an all or nothing approach, or going vegan or something, but focuses on improvement and aiming for getting it right 80-90% of the time. His suggestions are divided into 12 sections that you can tackle over time, perhaps one per month for a year if a person is just trying to improve nutrition and build good habits. They range from things like cutting out artificial sweetener or eating more beans to eating a pound of vegetables per day. I found it really effective pre-surgery and it's an eating style I will be working to get back to as I am further out from surgery and have more capacity. Small changes you can sustain will do the most for building good habits for life.

      2. Theweightisover2024🙌💪

        That sounds awesome. I'll have to check that out thanks!

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      I've hit a stall 9 months out. I'm not worried, though. My fitness levels continue to improve and I have nearly accomplished my pre-surgery goal of learning to scuba dive! One dive left to complete to get my PADI card 🐠
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