A Mommy's Santa Letter

[coyotegirl 3]

A friend of mine sent this to me. I thought some of you mommys might relate.

> Dear Santa,

>

> I've been a good Mommy all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled

>my children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor,

>sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on

>the school playground and figured out how to attach nine Patches onto my

>son's Boy Scout uniform with staples and a glue gun.

>

> I was hoping you could spread my list out over several

>Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on

>the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows

>when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.

>

> Here are my Christmas wishes:

>

> I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color, except

>purple, which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the

>breeze; but are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the candy

>aisle

> in the grocery store.

>

> I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the

>seventh month of my last pregnancy.

>

> If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like

>fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music; a

>television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals;

>and a

> refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper

>where I can hide to talk on the phone.

>

> On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says,

>"Yes, Mommy" to boost my parental confidence, along with two kids who don't

>fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use

>of power tools.

>

>

> I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting "Don't

>eat in the living room" and "Take your hands off your brother," because my

>voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be

>heard by the dog.

>

> If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for

>enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the

>luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served

>in a styrofoam container.

>

> If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles

>to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare

>ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely.

>

> It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help

>around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an

>organized crime family.

>

> Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my son saw

>my feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back. Have

>a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the door and come in

>and dry off so you don't catch cold.

>

> Help yourself to Cookies on the table but don't eat too many

>or leave crumbs on the carpet.

Love, Mommy

[mousecrazy 2]

Amen! I want what's on her list, too!

Maybe I could add this one little thing? An enchanted house, where everything magically finds its way back to where it belongs!

[HarleyNana 10]

May I borrow your letter, my kids are grown, but I still have the DH here.