Parents

[marykb 0]

My parents saw a picture of me the other day and called me to congratulate me and tell me how good I looked, etc. All I could think of, the whole time they were telling me how good I look now, was of high school when I was the same weight and wearing smaller clothes.

All I ever heard from them was how fat I was. They were constantly putting me on crazy diets (the all Pasta diet, the fast 3x a week diet, etc.) and making me exercise above and beyond my 2x daily swim team practices, because I was so fat.

I've spent years trying to get over feeling like a complete failure if I'm not a size 6. I thought I was past it until they started complimenting me. I didn't say anything about the past, because the past is past and it is on me to get over it. It just frustrates me that after years of working on this, it all comes back in a couple of minutes.

[Tsaleen 1]

I can totally relate to this. All my life I have been teased or insulted for being "fat." Even in HS when I was playing 3 sports and in the best shape of my life I was still at best a size 14. I WISH I HAD THAT BODY NOW!!!!

My sister was the slender one, I took after my dad. When my father died, he could not fit in a normal sized casket, but he wanted to be cremated anyway. The point being he was a LARGE man.

When I went in for surgery, my mom cried so much. She kept saying how proud she was that I was doing this and how beautiful I will be when I lose weight. She told the nurse how beautiful I was when I was younger, and the nurse said "She is beautiful now" My mom still said "yes but she was much beautiful not so overweight" UGH, they never get it.

Oh and my mom said I "let myself go" to my surgeon at my first appointment. Actually, I have lost 50+ pounds at least 4 times in my life, I just always gradually put the weight back on, and then some!

Don't let it get you down, we are all doing this for ourselves.

PS. Someone told me the other day "I hope you did this surgery for yourself and not for vanity reasons, because, you got it going on already"

[marykb 0]

I can totally relate to this. All my life I have been teased or insulted for being "fat." Even in HS when I was playing 3 sports and in the best shape of my life I was still at best a size 14. I WISH I HAD THAT BODY NOW!!!!

My sister was the slender one, I took after my dad. When my father died, he could not fit in a normal sized casket, but he wanted to be cremated anyway. The point being he was a LARGE man.

When I went in for surgery, my mom cried so much. She kept saying how proud she was that I was doing this and how beautiful I will be when I lose weight. She told the nurse how beautiful I was when I was younger, and the nurse said "She is beautiful now" My mom still said "yes but she was much beautiful not so overweight" UGH, they never get it.

Oh and my mom said I "let myself go" to my surgeon at my first appointment. Actually, I have lost 50+ pounds at least 4 times in my life, I just always gradually put the weight back on, and then some!

Don't let it get you down, we are all doing this for ourselves.

PS. Someone told me the other day "I hope you did this surgery for yourself and not for vanity reasons, because, you got it going on already"

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one going through this. My mom told me she was so happy that she could see my "pretty" face now.

I hope you did this surgery for yourself and not for vanity reasons, because, you got it going on already"

That is a great thing to say.

[elcee 3,341]

To the Op. Looking at your ticker you are almost at goal which is great. Your goal appears to be a BMI of approx 28. That is still in the overweight range. I am not saying there is anything wrong with that, so long as you are happy that is great. I am trying to help you understand the change in your parents attitude.

As a teenager with a BMI of 28 you WERE overweight. They were concerned about you and rightly so as your weight did continue to increase.

Now you have a BMI of 28 after having had one of 42 of course you look great.

So it's all relative.(excuse the pun)!

[marykb 0]

My goal is actually my Dr's goal. I would like to be 10-15 lbs under that.

I think that the bigger problem I have, and it is my problem, is that I have trouble accepting that my parents can be so encouraging now and were the opposite when I was younger. In fact, it probably made me focus on my weight more than I would have.

Anyway, thanks for letting me vent.

[hazeleyedstef 0]

hey guys i totally understand your feelings. when i told my aunt that i was having the surgery she told me she was so happy for me cause she knows all i want is to get married and have a family and I will never find a man being heavy. she told me i have a beautiful face but no man will look at me as something more as a friend until i lose the weight. i personally dont agree with her but it still hurts to hear.

[KTKaya 2]

Dear Hazel,

Wow, your aunt is HARSH! I have to say I absolutly disagree 100% that no man would want you the way you are. Isn't that what finding love is all about? That someone loves you for YOU, not what size pants you wear? I recognize that I am very lucky to have my husband, who I met when I was around 200lbs and who stayed with me up to 265 and through my surgery and is sitting beside me today. He loves me regardless of my size, and would still be sitting here if I was still at 265.

Weightloss might increase your confidence, it might give you more fashion choices, and I admit life is easier. But it absolutly does not guarantee that the love of your life is going to come waltzing through the door and be the person you want. Frankly if he cant love you at any size then he doesn't love you at all.

Ugh sorry I just hijacked this thread I just get so ANGRY by this idea that bigger people are unlovable or less worthy of love. You ARE worthy! You ARE loveable! You are wonderful just the way you are. Your aunt can suck an egg (no offense, sorry)

hey guys i totally understand your feelings. when i told my aunt that i was having the surgery she told me she was so happy for me cause she knows all i want is to get married and have a family and I will never find a man being heavy. she told me i have a beautiful face but no man will look at me as something more as a friend until i lose the weight. i personally dont agree with her but it still hurts to hear.