Your bitching and moaning is not only hurting you, you're hurting others

[Cleo's Mom 257]

People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. So before you judge those who complain or bitch remember that you might stop losing well before your goal or gain weight back or have a serious problem with the band like slippage or erosion or develop an infection or even have to have it removed. You might never reach your sweet spot or choose to live with liquid breakfasts, reflux and/or heartburn in order to lose (who wants to live like that? That's not normal) - so before all you holier than thou types pontificate about how great you're doing - remember the tables could turn very quickly - and you could be on the other side.

[BostonPA 0]

Clearly, I am in the minority. Personally, as a brand new bandster, reading the good, the bad AND the ugly is how I made a truly informed decision. If I wanted only rosy reviews, then I could just watch band commercials. I wanted to read of real people with real experiences, both positive and negative. And in return, I want to post total raw honesty about my journey.

Yes, I was starving on pre-op. Yes, some ofthat was my own fault, and when I realized my mistake, I corrected it AND posted about it.

Yes, I ate food too soon post-op and it hurt badly. And yes, that was also my mistake and I also chose to share it.

If someone can read my posts and go through with this journey, then maybe it will help them not feel alone or like a freak when they get hungry or they get stuck. If all someone saw were threads blowing sunshine up their bums, their expectations might not be realistic and it might actually make their process more lonely and more difficult. Obviously, if it was so darn easy to eat just broccoli and steamed fish forever, none of us would be fat to begin with!

So, in my opinion, post what you want, good or bad, and read what you want. We are all adults here. I personally appreciate those who keep it real.

[Humming Bird 275]

Clearly, I am in the minority. Personally, as a brand new bandster, reading the good, the bad AND the ugly is how I made a truly informed decision. If I wanted only rosy reviews, then I could just watch band commercials. I wanted to read of real people with real experiences, both positive and negative. And in return, I want to post total raw honesty about my journey.

Yes, I was starving on pre-op. Yes, some ofthat was my own fault, and when I realized my mistake, I corrected it AND posted about it.

Yes, I ate food too soon post-op and it hurt badly. And yes, that was also my mistake and I also chose to share it.

If someone can read my posts and go through with this journey, then maybe it will help them not feel alone or like a freak when they get hungry or they get stuck. If all someone saw were threads blowing sunshine up their bums, their expectations might not be realistic and it might actually make their process more lonely and more difficult. Obviously, if it was so darn easy to eat just broccoli and steamed fish forever, none of us would be fat to begin with!

So, in my opinion, post what you want, good or bad, and read what you want. We are all adults here. I personally appreciate those who keep it real.

great post :puke: Well done Boston.

[wallen9277 0]

I never ever post but Cleo's Mom you said exactly what I was thinking when i saw the title of this thread. Thanks so much for posting. I think this should be a place venting as well as celebrating. Most if us started out feeling not our best selves with this experience but down the line it all changes for the better (Mostly). Lets try an be more patient with each other. If you dont want to read bitching and moaning skip the post...just my opinion...Thanks again Cleo's Mom.

[wallen9277 0]

I totally agree with you Boston PA...KUDOS!!!!

[ozzie3860 0]

Look guys, I am here for real life experiences involving the band be they good, bad or benign. I can get (and have) all the rosy info about how wonderful life with the band is from my local bariatric center, surgeon or manufacturer web site. While I respect “Cleo’s Mom” position and posting I think the “bitching” is exactly what people need to see in order to get a well rounded view on the path they are considering or have already committed to take their life on. The real life challenges that people post on this site and the suggestions and solutions discussed are probably some of the most useful information that I have come across and should not be discouraged as bitching.

Just my two cents worth.

[btrieger 21]

I understand life is not a bowl of cherries and we all have positive and negative experiences.

I think everyone should feel free to post openly and honest. I just want everyone to think about what they're saying.

I am a very skeptical and cynical person by nature. By keeping my attitude towards this journey positive it has really helped me succeed so far.

"I ate solid food soon after surgery and it was a mistake" is a constructive post. Others can learn by your experience.

"I just started my liquid diet and I'm starving" is not so constructive but it could be if phrased differently. Like, "what did some of you do to fight the hunger during your pre-op diet?"

[Cleo's Mom 257]

Clearly, I am in the minority. Personally, as a brand new bandster, reading the good, the bad AND the ugly is how I made a truly informed decision. If I wanted only rosy reviews, then I could just watch band commercials. I wanted to read of real people with real experiences, both positive and negative. And in return, I want to post total raw honesty about my journey.

Yes, I was starving on pre-op. Yes, some ofthat was my own fault, and when I realized my mistake, I corrected it AND posted about it.

Yes, I ate food too soon post-op and it hurt badly. And yes, that was also my mistake and I also chose to share it.

If someone can read my posts and go through with this journey, then maybe it will help them not feel alone or like a freak when they get hungry or they get stuck. If all someone saw were threads blowing sunshine up their bums, their expectations might not be realistic and it might actually make their process more lonely and more difficult. Obviously, if it was so darn easy to eat just broccoli and steamed fish forever, none of us would be fat to begin with!

So, in my opinion, post what you want, good or bad, and read what you want. We are all adults here. I personally appreciate those who keep it real.

Great post. Thanks for your honesty.

[Cleo's Mom 257]

I never ever post but Cleo's Mom you said exactly what I was thinking when i saw the title of this thread. Thanks so much for posting. I think this should be a place venting as well as celebrating. Most if us started out feeling not our best selves with this experience but down the line it all changes for the better (Mostly). Lets try an be more patient with each other. If you dont want to read bitching and moaning skip the post...just my opinion...Thanks again Cleo's Mom.

You're welcome and thanks for sharing your opinion, too.

[kellyodoran 12]

I understand life is not a bowl of cherries and we all have positive and negative experiences.

I think everyone should feel free to post openly and honest. I just want everyone to think about what they're saying.

I am a very skeptical and cynical person by nature. By keeping my attitude towards this journey positive it has really helped me succeed so far.

"I ate solid food soon after surgery and it was a mistake" is a constructive post. Others can learn by your experience.

"I just started my liquid diet and I'm starving" is not so constructive but it could be if phrased differently. Like, "what did some of you do to fight the hunger during your pre-op diet?"

Trieger......well put

[Brooklyn732 7]

I understand life is not a bowl of cherries and we all have positive and negative experiences.

I think everyone should feel free to post openly and honest. I just want everyone to think about what they're saying.

I am a very skeptical and cynical person by nature. By keeping my attitude towards this journey positive it has really helped me succeed so far.

"I ate solid food soon after surgery and it was a mistake" is a constructive post. Others can learn by your experience.

"I just started my liquid diet and I'm starving" is not so constructive but it could be if phrased differently. Like, "what did some of you do to fight the hunger during your pre-op diet?"

WELL SAID BTRIEGER!! No one said that positive, informational, constructive posts are annoying. And I love reading about different people's experiences because it gives me a lot of insight, especially as someone who hasn't been banded yet. So I don't understand the whole "blowing sunshine" comment because that is not the point of this at all!!

[BostonPA 0]

Well, the thing is, REAL struggles aren't always worded in a positive or optimistic way because that's just not how you feel when you struggle.

I stand by my position, which is that I am infinitely wiser and endlessly grateful for those who chose to share each and every struggle and bare each and every feeling.

Sanitizing things just does not work for me. Besides, I find it pretty controlling when someone "approves" or "disapproves" of the way a post on a public message board is worded.

Have you thought that maybe it helped the person posting "negativity" to share it or get it off their chest? If you don't like it, guess what? Don't read it!

[btrieger 21]

In REAL life if you walk into a room full of bandsters and say, "I'm starving", the majority of the people in the room are going to roll their eyes and think, "suck it up and get over it!"

Of course, some of us will actually say it.

You'll always get sympathy from a couple but the rest won't care to listen to anything else you have to say because they don't want to be brought down.

Once again, I am not trying to control what anyone posts and everybody will always agree or disagree with whatever they want. I just want people to take 2 seconds to think about what they will or will not gain when posting.

Edited October 12, 2010 by btrieger
grammar

[stateofzen 46]

In some ways, I think we're talking about two different kinds of coping styles here. Some people cope with problems by distraction (hahaha-- food, maybe?). Some people cope by sharing, which you could call venting, and they get satisfaction from just that experience without really needing anything additional. And some people are problem solvers.

I suspect that part of what's at issue here is that us problem solvers don't get venting as a coping style-- we want to solve the problem! But the venters don't need that-- they just need to get the thoughts out there so they can leave them behind for a bit. They're not asking for advice, because that's not really what the venting is about.

Yes, I do get annoyed sometimes with venting but I try to remind myself that it's probably more about me and my coping style than anything the other person is doing. And while I am convinced that the world would be a much better place if only everyone were just like me, sadly, that seems unlikely.

[BostonPA 0]

Btrieger, we'll have to agree to disagree. That's the beauty of these boards!

Stateofzen, I think that's a very good theory!