Why do people insist on say "you're not planning on losing anymore weight are you?"

[Cherishthepast 20]

Not a day goes by without one of my co-workers saying "you're not planning to lose anymore weight...?".

If I say, I'm shooting for another 15-20 pounds I get a weird look followed by "you're kidding".

Has anyone else had to deal with this foolishness? If so, how are youre responding?

[BetsyB 9]

I'm starting to get this--and it's so silly! I'm a little more than 10 pounds from a normal BMI--and plan to go lower.

I think some people are just so used to having me a certain way that they don't *get* me now.

They'll get over it

[stateofzen 46]

I'd just say I'm going to keep up my healthy diet and exercise and see where my body ends up happy. Just act like you're not that concerned about the weight, just the healthy behaviors, and that what happens will happen.

It's really none of your coworkers business If it was a family member saying that, I might tell them that my doctor recommends a "normal weight" BMI and that I'm not there yet, but will stop when I get there, but I wouldn't bother trying to explain to random people who are just uncomfortable with other people losing weight.

[MsFab1988 275]

yupp! But I got it from some of my male cousins so it had a different meaning...They prob said it cuz they may think 230 pounds look good on me and that I may look like a skeleton at 160...They didnt mean it in a bad way as if they dont want me to reach my goal. I think they said it to encourage me to let me know how good Im doing and that I dont have to kill myself over the weight loss or go over board...As for "potential haters", I havent gotten remarks...but I know they think it in their heads bc of jealousy...They dont want me to succeed bc they wish they can lose weight or they fear that I may be the "center of attention" and Im going to become a threat to them...either that or they are just in shock..But keep losing weight! People are just going to have to adapt to OUR new changes!

[Melissannde 41]

I only get that from one person, and if I didn't know better, I'd say it was a catty remark. But I know this lady and she doesn't have a mean bone in her body. I just think she's always known me as an obese woman and just can't picture me normal sized.

And I'm way away from my first goal, on the order of about 55 lbs.. and even then it won't put me at a normal BMI. I've been obese so long that I'll have too much extra skin and I'm not sure I'm going for plastics..

[emjay 8]

I got these type of comments from my boss and both my parents. Mind you I'm still 147-150 lbs, and at 5'7" I'm pretty much where I want to be. It got to the point where I just told my parents that my weight was not a topic for conversation anymore. My boss, I winked and said do you want me to get on you about your weight?

I know all of them are well meaning, but have never seen me at this weight before. They don't get it about trying to achieve a goal you've spent your lifetime dreaming about...and that many take for granted.

So, try and remember that are many reasons they may say it, whether it's out of concern, jealousy, their own perception of where you should be, etc. And if it gets to the point where it's a catty remark, just say, "why do you feel it's your business?" that should shut 'em up.

[LapNYC 3]

I get this too and I'm 5'7 and weight 183. I don't think that's ANY person's dream weight or anything! I think it's all relative and they're trying to be nice, but I do find it to be a little strange. I'd be the LAST person in the world to lose too much and give up eating when I didn't have to. Sometimes I think it's peoples' own eating disorders talking...

[latin_starr 0]

well when I tell my husband that the doc wants me at 140 [i'm at 238 right now] he tells me..NO WAY that is too skinny!!! i don't understand why he'd be concerned..his favorite actress , salma hyeck, is less that i'm sure! although i'm not sure i want to be that small..from a big girls point of view 140 is small! to the people who are less than that think it's overweight..lol

oh well...like someone said..i will just continue to do what i have to do and whatever comes off comes off!

[cwm812 11]

I've been getting this for the last 20 lbs or so. I usually just give a non-commital answer, like, "oh, it's coming off really slowly now, I doubt I'll lose much more." No one needs to know what I weigh or how low I'd secretly like to get.

Honestly, though, I don't think people are really being catty about it or mean. I think that our society has gotten so routinely overweight that I do look really thin to many people. Last week, I went to an Open House at my son's school and I realized that I was the thinnest mom in nearly every class. Even when I went to a new doctor, she complimented me and said I must know to eat correctly, because I was so thin. She had my weight right in front of her and I know I'm at least 15 lbs from a normal BMI.

People just expect overweight...normal looks "too thin" to them.

Cindy

[lellow 1,713]

All the time. I started getting it when I was a BMI of about 29, and I'm now a BMI of 21, and all I get all the time is how skinny I am. And yet no one would have the nerve to say that to someone who started out at a BMI of 21 - they'd just say she looked great!

I just smile and nod. People who meet me now who never knew me as a bigger person don't ever say I look too skinny, so I generally use that as a line-marker for me. I'm happy with my weight and only I need to be, no one else, so they can all go jump! :thumbdown:

[SUCCESSFUL4LIFE 0]

:thumbdown: Some people say it out of jealously, especially other females. As long as you are healthy, doing what your Doctor is telling you to do & you are "HAPPY" that's all that really matters.

Just do you because people will "ALWAYS" have something to say.......

[A-WENZ 0]

I agree, I am at a healthy 118/120 and I feel great and I look great....I think. I am starting to get people asking me if I am anorexic and if I need help. I have one boss that keeps trying to get to scarf down pastries all day....My weight is my business...plan and simple, My goal is 112-115 and then I am done.

[Jachut 487]

I've been getting this for the last 20 lbs or so. I usually just give a non-commital answer, like, "oh, it's coming off really slowly now, I doubt I'll lose much more." No one needs to know what I weigh or how low I'd secretly like to get.

Honestly, though, I don't think people are really being catty about it or mean. I think that our society has gotten so routinely overweight that I do look really thin to many people. Last week, I went to an Open House at my son's school and I realized that I was the thinnest mom in nearly every class. Even when I went to a new doctor, she complimented me and said I must know to eat correctly, because I was so thin. She had my weight right in front of her and I know I'm at least 15 lbs from a normal BMI.

People just expect overweight...normal looks "too thin" to them.

Cindy

I think this is spot on, people just arent used to seeing anyone who isnt at least a bit overweight these days. I look at teenage girls and think I almost drove myself mad trying t lose weight because I thought I was huge (and compared to my petite pals, at a BMI of about 28, I was big enough for doctors to be concerned) and these girls now are fatter than I ever was and they are NORMAL. They're the same as all their friends and they dress to show off their "curves" which to me are not curves at all but rolls of fat.

Like Lellow, I go by what people who never knew me as overweight think. Most people would say I'm lucky to be naturally thin (ha!) but they wouldnt ever describe me as really skinny or suspect that I have an eating disorder.

[shell1111 1]

I get people asking me "when you get to the weight you want do they take that "thing" out?" That "thing" saved my life and was the best choice I ever made!!

[Brighton Belle 0]

I have not told very many people at all and have told none of my co-workers.

I have been getting a lot of compliments recently at work, partly because I am slimmer (now at my 60% goal) but also because I have got new clothes, I am not always dressing in black and I am doing my make-up differently and my self-esteem has shot up.

The only people who have said "you are not going to lose any more weight, are you?" are overweight themselves. This to me is very telling.

All along I have realised this is from those that can't or won't lose weight and feel threatened by those that can or do lose weight.