Is anyone offended when they find out you've had Lap Band surgery?

[spoiltmom 44]

My health insurance covered my Lap Band surgery. My BMI was 37 starting out and I have had sleep apnea and high blood pressure for years and I'm only 30 so they covered it no problem.

One of my relatives also has lap band. She had to pay cash for hers and she started out at 300 pounds. I was 230 when I started.

Anyway she told me she couldn't believe I had done this and that I was nowhere near big enough for Lap Band. She almost seemed offended. It kind of irritated me. I'm big enough to have weight related health problems and big enough that I can't keep up with my kids so IMO I'm big enough to do something about it. Right?

[kelking 0]

I wonder if she is actually jealous because your insurance paid for it and hers apparently did not. Which is way outside of your realm of control.

[ElfiePoo 109]

I wish the band had been available when I was 220#...and 25 years old! The heartache I could've saved myself...

My surgeon was only 50 pounds overweight and he had himself banded because he was watching his weight (and appetite) increase every year. He was banded because he needed the Portion Control and wanted to do it before he developed diabetes, heart disease and many of the other problems that run in his family.

I'm not sure I would've been banded for 50 pounds, but that is a decision we all have to make for ourselves because only we know the struggles we deal with regarding food.

.

[BetsyB 9]

I haven't had anyone respond particularly negatively---some have the "easy way out" misconception, but I just explain that it was a way out for me.

I have had people tell me I wasn't "big enough." I don't understand this--but whatever. If I don't fit anyone's arbitrary mental image of someone fat enough to have surgery, that's okay with me.

I agree your aunt probably is disgruntled because she had to self-pay while you were covered at a lower BMI. The way I'd bolster her is to tell her how terrific it is she dodged the comorbidities that made it more medically necessary for you to have the surgery when you did.

As someone who battled obesity herself, she surely knows that there's no reason to keep gaining before choosing to lose---and there's even less reason if your obesity is causing health problems.

[Humming Bird 275]

I have told everyone. There is no secret about how I dropped all this weight. If anyone is offended they have not said anything to my face. I have really only had good comments.

[Angera 2]

I've been fortunate not to have had anyone offended by my choices, but I did come across one lady in my office who longggggggg in the beginning of my process was very strong in her opinion of my choice.

She said she had followed insurance guidelines and was scheduled for surgery and "chickened out" in the end. She said she realized it was so dangerous and better to just do it on your own!

6 months past and my surgery was scheduled, she asked me how everything was and i said "great". Then she turns around and says oh that's sooooooooo wonderful what you're doing for yourself and you're doing a great job................WOW quite the difference from a few months before when she bent over backwards to convince me NOT to do it since she was to chicken to do it herself!

I just walk with a smile knowing i've made the right choice for me. I was heading down a horrible path for my health and life and I had to take control. I do not regret this one bit. I have a long road ahead of me, but there are not enough negative comments in the world that are going to bring me down at this point :rolleyes2:

All i can say is, don't let the negative people get to you, in the end you did it for you, not for them!

[emjay 8]

I can't say anyone has been offended, just that I have had friends not even make the slightest comment when others tell me they hardly recognize me after losing the weight. The ones that haven't mentioned it have their own issues with their weight, so I don't say anything either. Let's face it, weight/body image/WLS are very sensitive subjects to alot of people.

My only hope is that for those who have battled like I did for all these years, see the lap band as an option that can be successful if they really want to change their way of life. I had my own misgivings about the surgery, mostly because of my concern that I would miss certain foods or the amount of food I would be able to eat, or if I would really be able to get all the weight off. But in time (which is why I LIKE that the weight loss is slower), I was able to get my head in the right frame of mind to reconcile those feelings.

Now if I gain a few pounds, I don't beat myself up over it, and I don't fear that I won't be able to get the weight off. I just know that I need to make better food choices and keep active and I'll get my reward. No more head games anymore. That's why I know this time is different.

If anyone tells me I took the easy way out...so be it. I probably won't be able to change their minds, and I don't feel the need to defend my actions. I did it for ME.

[gloglo 0]

I was 46 pounds overweight, but i had diabetes, high cholesterol, and hypertension. I received flak from my husband, daughter and best friend. They argued that i could do this without surgery. I did loose many times, but gained it back. These people did not know how i felt, and that if i did not do something i was going to die an early death. Unless they are walking in your shoes, and have the co-morbidities, they cannot appreciate your decision for surgery. Incidentally i found it interesting that all these people against my decision, were overweight. But they insisted that i could loose weight without the lapband.

[zeniada 9]

My health insurance covered my LAP-BAND® surgery. My BMI was 37 starting out and I have had sleep apnea and high blood pressure for years and I'm only 30 so they covered it no problem.

One of my relatives also has LAP-BAND®. She had to pay cash for hers and she started out at 300 pounds. I was 230 when I started.

Anyway she told me she couldn't believe I had done this and that I was nowhere near big enough for LAP-BAND®. She almost seemed offended. It kind of irritated me. I'm big enough to have weight related health problems and big enough that I can't keep up with my kids so IMO I'm big enough to do something about it. Right?

ABSOLUTLY!!! doesnt matter who paid for it you felt you needed to do something to better your quality of life and you did GOOD FOR YOU!!!

[alilbittyna 0]

You know, it's funny. When I went for my seminar I was the thinnest in my group. I have NEVER been able to say I was the thinnest in a room. I introduced myself to the surgeon holding the seminar and a day or so later I made my appointment. Upon first meeting he asked me if I had any underlying health problems. Other than slight sleep apnea I had none. He looked at me and said I am not so sure you will qualify for this surgery. I looked at him funny and thought how can you judge that by looking at me. Then he put me on the scale and I was 242 with a BMI of 38. He was surpised that my weight was that high, but we went through the motions with the insurance anyway. After a 10 month battle, I had the surgery 8/25 and I am doing great.

My best friend, who has always been heavier than me, thought that it was crazy for me to have this surgery when she is heavier than me. I told her because I looked into it, my MD was on board and I worked hard to get the insurance company all they needed to approve it. She actually seemed upset with me because she felt she needed it more than me. I sent her all my information and told her to get cracking! Now I am losing weight at a good pace and she is acting a little jealous, but she will be right behind me I dont know what she is worried about.

I also had a problem explaining it to my biological mother. She heard "through the grapevine" that I had it and just thought it was ridiculous that I would put myself through such a thing and that I should just try to diet. I was like...uhhhmmm I have for over 10 years just to take off 20 and put on 40!

My answer to these people is F YOU!!!! I did this for me and I am already succeeding. If you cant handle it then go pound salt. Don't judge me for doing something about my weight when you were the same one saying shit about me being over weight to begin with.

Sorry...a little Jersey attitude popped out there!! ; )

[theskinnyme 0]

Yes! You are right, Amanda.

I only told 5 people about my surgery (my parents, my sister, and 2 really good friends). I made them swear not to tell anyone else because I know for a fact that I have a lot of family members and friends who would be upset/offended/disappointed in my decision to get banded (even though a lot of them have weight problems as well). Their first response would be, "well, why didn't you just do it on your own?" I have been struggling with my weight for 20 years (and I'm only 29), and yes, I have lost 65 lbs on my own before only to gain 80lbs back. I am tired of the yo-yoing. I feel like this is the best decision for me. And, if I tell people then this will be the main topic up for discussion everytime I see them. I don't want to debate with them over my weight. I am struggling with it enough on my own. Maybe I will tell everyone about the surgery after I reach my goal. I haven't decided yet. But, I just wanted to avoid all of the controversy and hoop-la for now.

Also, I am self-pay and it is the best money that I ever spent. I did not have any co-morbidities before surgery so I knew that my insurance would not cover me. Since diabetes/high blood pressure/high cholesterol/etc runs rampant in my family, I wanted to get my weight under control before I was afflicted with it as well.

Don't you worry about what your family member says. You just keep up the good work!

[TracyNYC 4]

I wouldn't say "offended" would explain the reactions. More like horrified. My good friend repeatedly says she would NEVER do the band (She is very heavy) as she has done it herself and wouldn't take the easy way out. She also says she has no food issues, just likes to eat. (yeah...OK)

Someone else said that I should just diet.

I think the aunt's jealousy has to do with the insurance paying and hers not.

[missgypsy 1]

everyone i told was very supportive of me. my mom told me it was one of the best things i've done for myself and she was all for it. i think your aunt's prob is that she had to pay for hers herself. maybe a tad bit of jealousy popping out too. she needs to look at the big picture and not just whats in front of her.

[stefaniwg 172]

I agree with everyone else that she is just jealous that her insurance didn't pay and yours did. I was very lucky that my insurance did cover me without any co-moridities with a lower BMI of 38 than some others but I did have horrible acid reflux and my family has every type of disease known to man so they were sure to come with me being so overweight. I am just 5'2 and weighed 209 pounds. I have been overweight for about 8 or 9 years. I was NEVER able to lose more than 5-10 pounds pre band and to have lost 24 in the last 2 months...Can I get a WHOOT WHOOT! I am now back to what I weighed prior to having my daughter and she is 5. I spoke freely to friends and family about getting the band and then changed my mind about having it (I chieckened out) and I told myself I could do it on my own. WRONG! One month later I called to get a new surgery date. But I told no one besides my husband until after I had it. Even then I only told my mom,dad,sister and niece. My family who is mostly obese were hating on me about getting banded and I just didn't want to deal with it. So they all see me eating better and exercising and are seeing the changes in me and just assume that I am doing it on my own. I have even been an inspiration some to do better. We all want to be heathier and just being able to get skinny is just an added bonus!!!! lol

Edited September 30, 2010 by stefaniwg