No Support!

[ashe1896 1]

So I need someone's opinion on this matter. My sister and her boyfriend have been very unsupportive of me having the lap band. They both believe that I should just get up and exercise and everything will be alright, oh and they are also both really fit people. It is the most frustrating thing!!!! Has anyone had this kind of experience? and what should I do about it?

[Llyra 3]

First of all, don't expect support from these folks because they haven't got a clue. When they offer unsolicited opinions, say, "Thank you for your thoughts on the matter," then change the subject and ignore whatever they just said. Repeat as necessary.

[ashe1896 1]

Thanks, I will try that. I just needed someone's opinion on the matter. I appreciate it!!!

[Gerry1958 0]

Hi,

Ignore those who put you down. You have made a courageous decission and you should be extremely proud of yourself.

What I see from this forum is that we have all the support we could need.

[Pammyl 0]

When I told my boss about it he said "So you admit you over eat" then followed up with "Instead of the surgery why don't you just try eating the amounts you can with the band and see how that works" GEE why didn't I think of that duh!!

[Fluffy_Gurl 3]

Someone who has never had a weight problem will never understand. Even though my family is trying to be supportive they just dont get it. Until someone has gone through the emotional issues of being overweight, the teasing, staring, shopping in the "fat girl section" getting stared at when looking in the "regular section" for a gift, been laughed at etc. They will never understand. just like i dont understand what its like to be a smokin hot sex godess...yet anyway lol

I say...screw em! yu have support here. If they dont like it they dont have to have the surgery. right? As long as you believe in you thats all that matters! Good luck in your new journey!:biggrin:

[Humming Bird 275]

When you weigh enough to qualify for WLS, it is just too big of a task to take on without help. The band gives that help.

Sure, people who have 2-25 pounds to take off will be able to do it with good old fashoned diet and exercise.

I knew there was no way I could take off over 100 pounds without taking drastic measures.

[Paigey 7]

My whole thing with getting band is that I'm going to be held accountable for the amount and quality of food I eat and that's how I've explained it to my family.

Without the band, I can eat whatever I want and the only repercussions are gaining more weight and declining health. With the band, there HAS to be a stopping point or I'll really pay for it. Immediately.

It seemed to put things in a better perspective for them and now everyone is supportive of what I'm doing whether they agree with my choice or not.

[lapp 0]

I had a similar experience with my family and it hurt a lot, but I decided to go with it anyway and am glad I did. You are not doing this for them. This is for you and your health. They are not the ones living in an overweight body and they are not the ones who have struggled. Exercise and watching what you eat has not worked for you and you need help. There are probably other things in their lives that they have needed help with, just not things that everyone knows about like eating. Do you judge them for that? They should not judge you for needing help. It is not a miracle cure and takes a lot of work on your part. If you do not do your part, it will not work. This is not just an easy fix. I'm sorry you had to feel the same way I did, but keep your head up. You are doing what is best for you. If you are in it alone, so be it, it will make you stronger!!!!

[mariegrayer 0]

I am going for consultation tomorrow. I don't have support because I have crohn's disease and everyone thinks its a bad idea to even consider the lapband.:biggrin:

[Jennim89 0]

Other people's opinions can be one of the most challenging things through this whole process. I live in a college dorm about three hours away from my surgeon so this has been quite a drawn out process. The other day, I was sitting in my room when my suite-mate returned from dinner with her family. She was ranting about her sister-in-law and how she is going to get the band and how she thought it was "the easy way out" and people like that should just get up and go to the gym. "Diet and exercise is all you need" is what she would say... now just remember, she has NO clue that I'm getting the band in december...no one does besides my mom, boyfriend, and best friend. But hearing that from her, or your sister, or anyone is really hard. This journey is not easy and we all need people to be there and support us. After that little rant, my best friend just kept telling me that people like that are uneducated and have never felt this way before. It would be wonderful if people like that could walk a day or two in our shoes just to see how it feels to be the "fat" one in the group and not be able to do everything they can. Its hard to understand unless you've been there...Just remember, you're making an extremely brave decision to do this and in the end it will be worth everything. (I have to tell myself this every day) Keep you're head up and surround yourself with the positives. You're doing a wonderful thing, don't ever forget that! Goodluck! :biggrin:

[honk 780]

What irks me is if I don't ask you to pay for my surgery or for you to give me any physical support or accommidations what the hell business is it of yours? I have been very lucky because my family was very supportive of my decision.

Next time someone questions YOUR healthcare decisions ask them something like this "If Mom/Dad/their child had a major heart problem and was told they needed surgical intervention or they would die would they just go home buy some Omega 3 pills and hope that fixed the problem?" Something tells me they would say no.

Most people who have had WLS see this as their last chance. I know it's not worth it to pick a fight with your roommate but how does her SIL surgery have anything to do with her? I doubt the SIL depends on her for the aftercare.

People can't have it both ways. They can't complain that I'm fat; then complain when I try to do something about it.

[losingitatlast 0]

I wouldn't discuss it with them...you are not going to get their support. Look elsewhere for support...either online, your friends, or support group at the hospital where you're having the surgery.