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relatinship changes after weight loss/surgery

purple3797

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purple3797    5

purple3797
Posted

I have heard that the weight loss can really affect relationships with your spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend .....even studies that have shown the divorce rate skyrockets. Have any of you experienced this??? I have a feeling as much as my hubby says he supports me he is also very comfortable with me beinhg heavy and may feel threatened when I start losing weight.:biggrin:

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va_viv    3

va_viv
Posted

This is something that has concerned me as well. My boyfriend and I have been together 5 1/2 years (for 4 of those years I've been overweight) and we're definitely in love but something deep down inside tells me that he's not 100% ok with me getting the surgery for the same reasons you mentioned, he feels threatened. He told me once "I'm afraid that when you lose all the weight you're going to leave me" it sucks and it's such a hard position to be in..but I'm just taking it one day at a time and if this relationship is meant to be then it will definitely be.

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kosy2    1

kosy2
Posted

I have been with my husband for 36 years. When I met him I was 117 pounds but only for one week. I was going to Diet Workshop and had lost 53 pounds. But when we started dating we would eat out alot and I started to gain weight. He hated it but when I would loose weight he hated it. Over the years I begain to see a pattern. Each time I lost weight he would begin to bring home more sweets home. He said "they are for the kids" but guess who eat most of them? yea, ME.

I truely believe that he is a small part of the reason I have not been able to keep the weight off. Since 1999 I have lost 120 pounds TWICE. Only to regain. I do not expect this time to be any different. In fact that is a major reason for me getting the band. A sort of stop-gap. My hope is that after a few years of me at a normal weight he will know that I am not going anywhere. I am thankful that my doc required a phyc. eval. I found a wonderful doc and he has really helped me. I have been seeing him once a week and plan to continue for a while. I believe 99.9% of my food isues are about my thinking and therefore the need for phyc. doc.

Years ago a phyc. doc explain to me that with all our relationships each person has a certain "dance". Any time when one person in the pair changes their "dance" it trips the other. If you stay with the new "dance" long enough the other will learn the new steps.

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Shay7997    0

Shay7997
Posted

My husband and I have been married for 10 years. A little over a year ago, I had the surgery done and lost all my weight. Our relationship has only gotten better, not that it was bad in the first place. I just had issues with my self esteem and he tried hard to boost my confidences. We're still very happy together, no relationship issues, and are growing in our relationship every day. We do more because I have lost my weight. And he lost weight with me! Because I'm the one who cooks in the house, when my diet changed, his did too. This was a good thing considering he is in the military and has to follow strict guidelines on weight and waist size.

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ElfiePoo    109

ElfiePoo
Posted

Years ago a phyc. doc explain to me that with all our relationships each person has a certain "dance". Any time when one person in the pair changes their "dance" it trips the other. If you stay with the new "dance" long enough the other will learn the new steps.

Love this analogy.

.

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sdelllano    0

sdelllano
Posted

Love this analogy.

.

This was the best analogy i have heard in a long time. thank you.

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sdelllano    0

sdelllano
Posted

Years ago a phyc. doc explain to me that with all our relationships each person has a certain "dance". Any time when one person in the pair changes their "dance" it trips the other. If you stay with the new "dance" long enough the other will learn the new steps.

Thank you for this, this is the best analogy i have head in a long time.

Keep up the good work everyone.....

August bandster

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missgypsy    1

missgypsy
Posted

WOW I think that kinda sums it up. thanks for sharing :lol:

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LPAYTON88    1

LPAYTON88
Posted

Well for me my relationship has gotten so much better because I feel more confident and sexier :lol: ! My boyfriend seems to love the new me too!

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