Friendly Sabotage

[John_Yeti 0]

My wife told me, before my surgery, that my friends and family may try to sabotage my eating habits without realizing it. Boy was she right!

I've really noticed that when we all go out for dinner or shopping, i'm constantly having to deny foods from my friends.

"Here, taste this!" or "Dude, you gotta have some of this, it's only one bite!" or they'll say "Oh No!, this one piece is going to give you Soooo many calories!"

Does anyone else have the problem with friends not understanding what they are going through or trying to do.

I've tried talking to them, but nothing seems to work.

Any advice for me?

Edited September 23, 2010 by John_Yeti

[Paigey 7]

I don't have my band yet, but I'm on my two week liquid diet, so I can empathize a little bit.

The other night, my daughter texted me from Publix, "Mom! Publix has the 20 piece hot wings on sale for just $6.99!"

I texted her back, "I just had to suck on a little tiny bite of pizza and you want to tease me with wings?"

[kosy2 1]

I am right there with you. If you had a problem with drugs, alcohol, dietibites I wonder if those same people would say "just take this one pill or sip of wine or taste of cake"? I think NOT. The problem as I see it is that most people to not see obesity as a disease.

The only way that I have found to help is to respond by saying "Sure, in a little while." Most offen what happens is they forget to ask again. This works better at parties then when you are one or one.

I have found that if you just say "no" then what happens is a power strugle. I once had a family member that said to me on my birthday that if I did not have a piece of my birthday cake they would be really mad at me and would not talk to me any more. Go figure?

Edited September 23, 2010 by kosy2

[Kalipso2 25]

i'm not sure if family and friends try to sabatoge on purpose... i just think a lot of interaction is spent around food in general. there are a lot of people (unlike us) who are able to have a bite of this and a piece of that. we can't and they just don't understand. so try not to take it personally... just smile and say "no thank you!"

[John_Yeti 0]

Most all the time it's not on purpose. That's why my wife told me they would do it without realizing it. I didn't think people would, but it has happened over and over again.

You're exactly right Kalipso, we socialize around food so much or at least make it a huge part of our interactions that it becomes one of those important things in our life.

What i've tried to do is make them realize that i'm trying to get to the point where i eat because i need food to live, not because i'm hungry. They seem to have a problem with that.

BTW, it also doesn't help that some of my friends are overweight as well. It's weird, they understand what i've had done and also understand how it works, but can't seem to grasp the idea that i don't want "ONE" chip or candy..... Because I know myself, if I get off and have that "ONE" it turns into more. I also would like to have NONE instead of ONE.

[Llyra 3]

Realizing that people you've always considered friends are willing to sabotage your efforts to lead a healthy, extended life is a real downer and you have my deepest sympathy.

When a person has embarked on a new and demanding way of life and has specifically and repeatedly asked his friends to respect this new lifestyle, any attempt on their part to force feed him or tempt him with food is sabotage. No way is it "not on purpose" once they have specifically been asked to cease and desist.

As you said yourself, John, they "have a problem." I think the problem is a combination of fear and envy.

All too often we learn that in order to fully embrace our new lifestyle, we have to change the places we go, the activities we pursue and the people we hang out with. I wish you the best of luck, John. You deserve better friends than these.

[Cherylita 0]

AMEN John! I posted something about this a little while ago and yep my family and friends were doing it unknowingly. I finally had to just tell them what they were doing and how it was affecting me. They never realized it until that point. They have been very supportive of my surgery but didn't realize they were having a negative response to it. So now that I have spoken up, when they slip back into that habit, I tell them "hey haven't we already had this conversation" and they remember and leave me be. Pretty much, I am having to retrain their habits as well as mine lol.

Congrats on the AWESOME weightloss!

Cheryl

[John_Yeti 0]

TY very much.