Excited for my new life, even though my dad won't support me.

[Valerieee 0]

Hey everyone! My name is Valerie and I'm 24 yrs old. I've been lurking on this site for quite awhile now, and finally decided to join up! I have the typical story of being overweight my entire life. From the time I was in elementary school I remember my mom would bribe me with trips to Disneyland if I lost a certain

amount of weight. No matter what the prize was, I could never lose the weight. I've suffered through the cabbage Soup diets, and slim fast shakes. I've spent tons of money on personal trainers, and gym memberships. I can't get over my food addiction. I would work out for a few days, then the pain in my knees and ankles would take over and I would just quit. I thought my ticket to sexy town was here when The Biggest Loser was holding auditions in Los Angeles. I had my pictures developed, my DVD recorded, but of course something had to happen. A few days before the auditions, I was in a terrible car accident which gave me major back problems. So with all the pain and depression, I continued to

gain weight. I told my parents that I was researching into the Lap band, and I got two completely different reactions. My mother was so supportive, saying that she would help me as much as she could. My dad let me have it, and this is a small portion of what he told me. "How about you just stop F'ing eating? Give me that money and I'll just staple your lips shut!" I guess for somebody that hasn't dealt with weight issues, it seems like an easy thing to do. Nobody will ever understand unless they have gone through it.. I know this procedure will be the tool I need to help me start my life. I'm too young to be 255lbs and miserable. I decided to get the ball rolling and called my insurance company! I was approved, and I scheduled to go to a

seminar on Sept 30th! I will then schedule my first apt with a dietician since my insurance requires 6 months with one! That gives me time to scramble for the $7500 I have to pay out of pocket. Haha yikes!

Has anyone done the 6 month program before thier surgery? Did it help kick start the weight loss? I'm extremely nervous, but excited at the same time. I want to put my life of blood pressure meds, jeans and sweaters behind me!

I hope you guys can welcome me with open arms and help me through all of this. I don't have many people rooting for me, so I need all the support I can get! :thumbup:))

[btrieger 21]

Your dad sounds like a real jerk. It is idiot parents like that that are the cause of so much emotional eating in the first place.

Good luck with your journey and keep us up to date. We are all in your corner.

[Valerieee 0]

You know, I'm not one to ever bad mouth my parents,but I just expected him to be supportive. He was always the first one to call me a pig, or to tell me I was about to explode. Why wouldn't he want me to do something positive for myself? He sees the medicine I have to take every morning and night because of my blood pressure. He sees the pain I'm in all the time. I'm not getting the lap band for the hell of it. I'm doing this to live, and he just doesn't seem to understand that. I guess just as long as my mom is there for me, that's all I could really ask for.

Thanks for responding, I really appreciate it! I'm glad I actually have people to talk to, that completely understand what I've gone through, and what I'll be going through in the future. :thumbup:

[Pammyl 0]

I just joined and had my surgery done last week. Found this sight so helpfull, and everyone supportive. My husband was not happy about the surgery but only because he was worried about the whole thing. But I didn't tell many people because when I did they all had there opinions and I realized I didn't want to hear them. They don't know what we go through being overweight. So I would just keep your Mom updated and only talk to positive people about it. You can do it good luck. :thumbup:

[Valerieee 0]

@Pammyl- Hey! How did the surgery go? You healing up alright? I definetly know to keep this procedure on the downlow and let only the closest people to me in on the secret! Plus I don't wants everyones eyes on me constantly expecting me to shrink dramatically. Talk about pressure!

I hope your husband stuck around and helped you out after the surgery. Some people just need to understand we need that extra push to get us on our way.

[Pammyl 0]

I had a few small set backs after surgery which were really not that bad only it seemed worse because all these people I talked to before my surgery were all great after there surgery and I wasn't so I did get a little down after. But then I found this forum and heard others having the same issue's so I felt so much better and it really helped me. My husband has been a great help around the house, only if he would stop eating reese's peices infront of me all the time. :thumbup: He has no weight problem and I realize he can't go with out everything for me so we are adjusting. You can do this and you will feel so much better and I am sure your Father will come around as he see's you feeling better about your self.

[mrsmontero12607 0]

Welcome girl! You found the support that you need here! I am glad you decided to take this step for yourself and no one else. That is the right way to start! I am scheduled for surgery on Thursday - yes 2 days from now. I am private pay so I didnt have to go through all of the insurance prerequisits. But I did have to break through to my husband who of course loves me as I am. He needed to understand that I was first and fore most doing this for ME and in the long run it would benefit him and our children. Now I think he gets it and he is being extremely supportive. Welcome!

[GlenSand 1]

Valerieee,

I am so glad you decided to do this! It was by far the best thing I've ever done for myself! I am 48 and have had a weight problem since I was 14... My highest weight was 255. I had lost weight 3 different times in my life and had always gained it back. It was a constant battle, even to keep below 250! Then I heard about the lap band!!!!!

I had my procedure a year and a half ago and am down 88lbs! The great part is that I will never gain it back! The band is so flexible. When it's too loose, you get it tightened...when it's too tight it can be loosed! it's wonderful! I no longer have problems with my knees or shoulders or climbing up stairs. I am active and feel 20 years younger.

Know you are doing this for yourself and, in spite of others opinions, it will be the best thing you can do! Good luck and keep us posted!

[Chris2010 1]

Valerieee, Congratulations on making the decision to do this for you. I did the same as Pammyl by not discussing the surgery with anyone but my husband initially. Then told my daughter and one close friend. I finally told my parents a few days before the surgery. Mostly, I didn't want them to worry and also I was awaiting approval from the insurance company before telling. Hopefully, your dad will come around but even if he doesn't please don't let that be something that deters you from being a new healthy you! I had to do a 3 month program before the surgery. Believe me it goes faster than you think. I was banded last week and haven't had any problems post-op. Good Luck and hang in there we are all rooting for you!

[nancy_marie_00 10]

My dad isn't on board either. I am 28 and weight 232. I know where you are coming from. Hang in there and do this for you and no one else. Nothing tastes as good as thin feels...so I have been told! I go in for surgery on the 6th. Start with replacing a meal a day with a Protein Shake. Syntrax makes a shake called nectar, it is 0 carbs 0fat, and under 100 calories with 23 grams of Protein. This will help you get losing. Good luck!

[MRSKOUBiK 27]

My doctor recommended the six months. He said he noticed a HUGE difference in his patients who completed the six months through another program. I already completed that part elsewhere, so I'm just waiting for the final word to as if it counts.

Good luck to you! If you would like a buddy feel free to msg me :thumbup: I'm new to this process too

[ahoyhere 0]

Valerieee, I've got nothing to add about the surgery - I've just started doing research, myself - but I can say one thing: Don't listen to your dad. And what he just said to you, and what he's been saying to you for a long time (it sounds like), is *wrong*.

It's a parent's job to protect their kids.

I had an abusive parent - I know what it's like. I found a lot of psychological relief in the book, _Toxic Parents_. I know your inclination is to defend your parents... mine too... that's because we're nice people. But that doesn't mean what they're doing is even remotely OK.

I really recommend you try out that book, Toxic Parents. It might help you too.

[BetsyB 9]

He was always the first one to call me a pig, or to tell me I was about to explode. Why wouldn't he want me to do something positive for myself?

Because he derives something from your obesity; if you change, he will lose a target.

When I was your age, I didn't want to see my parents' contributions to my problems, either. But I wish I'd identified them then, and gotten help to cope with them, to detach so that I would not sabotage myself in order to meet perverse parental needs.

(((Hugs))) You can break out of the mold your father has cast for you.

[PuppyBandit 2]

Welcome to the group and congrats on your decision :smile2:

Just follow the guidelines during your 6 month pre op stuff and think of it as prepping for the rest of your life.

When you talk about it to your Mom, maybe you can do it in private so you won't have to hear the stuff from your Dad, that is a negative force you don't need hear during your 6 month pre op. If you do lose weight during the 6 months, don't let your Dad know, because he will say "see you don't need the surgery" and bring your down and make you doubt your decision.

Wish I had the option to do lap band when I was 24, you have the rest of your life just beyond the horizon

Good luck!

[bakes 0]

Hi... Valerie, I know how how you feel my family totally has supported me including mom except for my dad. When i first brought the material to show her my dad said "I'm not going to have that done" & I said not for you it's about me. He tried to tell me every way he could think of to discourage the lap band. I decided I need support only- no negative! I've purposely kept my dad out of this loop. It's not a conversation we will be having anytime in the near future,