Weird but good

[sld21 26]

I am 8 months or so out (Jan 8) 64 down from 260lbs. Blood sugar normal, cholesterol lower, 5 or so sizes smaller (14's and I just bought 2 large shirts today compared to my usual 2x or 3x) I am 6 pounds away from my BMI no longer being "obese" and just overweight (which hey I am cool with that). My goal is 160 and I am 36 away (doesn't seem like much)

Sometimes I think I am not going to make it (while I eat my Tostito with a hint of lime, but now I eat 4 chips instead of the whole bag) I eat two chicken nuggets instead of 10 or more. I eat 2-3 chicken wingettes compared to an 18 piece and some wedges.

Life hasn't changed much, it is just more balanced and not full of excess. Excess weight, excess baggage, cheaper grocery bills. I no longer dwell in the thought of food, though I will always love it. But now I consider quality versus quanity. If I am going to eat, make it good but allow a bit or two of junk so I don't feel left out.

My former physical self is melting and I would be lying to myself if it hadn't changed me. Sure it has. It's weird to look at pictures just 8 months ago, I have shed almost a 1/3 of me, which was not just fat but insecurity, negative feelings, hurtful people.

I feel lighter in so many ways and it is now starting to internalize....I am not the same person as I was but its not that bad getting to know me again.

[SarahMarie123 0]

This is a very inspiring post! It is awesome to see that you still eat "normal things" sometimes...that is comforting to me. I am a week post op and start mushies tomorrow. I am so excited to lose the weight...and hearing you talk about having lost a lot of yours, while not giving up EVERYTHING makes me feel a little better.

Thank you and more power to you!

Sarah

[JanB23 23]

Fantastic. I am only 3 weeks post op but cant wait to feel what you are describing.

[bluezfan01 0]

You are an excellent writer, I enjoyed your post and can relate although not as close to goal weight. It is interesting to take note of the subtle differences. I am down about 38lbs but I have noticed I dont feel as invisible. At times I wonder is that my perception due to feeling good about myself more often or is it real. I think its both.

Thanks again!:thumbup:

[TracyNYC 4]

Great post!

I rarely eat fast food anymore, but the other day grabbed a 4 piece nugget happy meal and enjoyed every bite of the fries and nuggets. Won't do it again anytime soon, but felt "normal" being able to do it.

I too feel less invisible. I wonder too if it is me or are others 'seeing' me for the first time in a long time.

[Butterfly2010 0]

Thank you so much for this post! This is what I needed to keep me going on my last few days of fluids only....I don't ever want to be on a diet again...but changing my life, that I have been ready for! Thank you so much!

[sld21 26]

you are all welcome! I love to write and read especially if its the truth. I don't get to eat a lot of fast food because it seems like a waste to me since I can't eat that much, I would much rather Portion Control it for myself, but still, there are times when it is necessary.

I don't always approve of my own choices but overall, I try to be observant and consistent. The band is not my mind tool but my portion control. Moderation when you are starving all the time was difficult for me when I was obese, especially with diabetes and emotions attached to food. Now, my emotions can be attached all they want but my band won't let it happen, which I am good with. This automatically kind of adjusts my attitude, emotions and ultimately I end up choosing the food that is nutritionally rich instead of dense.

It's kind of intimidating that I am 34 lbs away from my goal. I did this so my husband and I could have children and I could live a long time for them and myself, if not, the diabetes and high cholesterol would have eventually caught up with me and killed me one day, and at 33, I am too young and way too hot :thumbup: to die.

[peprmentpati 8]

I'm lovin' the positive energy here! Very Happy for You!!! I feel that way as well, and even on the days that are tough I have this site! With positive posts like this one, all I have to do is remember where we were or are and how close we'll be in a spot like you!

Awesome!

God Bless Everyone!

Rebecca

[BeachBabe 0]

It is such a success for us who now eat 2 chicken nuggets instead of 10. I also will now log them in my food application on my I Phone so I am concious of what I am eating. I will have 5 dibbs intead of 25 and feel content. It is so nice to eat like everyone else now.

I used to eat around smaller people and know that I was eating 4 times as much as they were but I could not stop. I was embarassed to see people I knew from the past when I was thinner. I got to the point I avoided going on a tropical vacation because I was ashamed of my fat bloby body. I would not go to my husband's work parties because I did not want him to be embarassed of his fat wife.

I am one month in, I have lost 17 pounds, I have a face and not a fat face now, my arms are getting thinner, and my stomach is not as doubled over anymore. I am very motivated to keep up with my self control and not sabotage it by eating what I should not eat.

I love savoring 4 french fries and not scarfing down a whole container of them. They are now special treats and no longer daily unconcious Snacks.

I love my band. I am beginning to love myself again too.