what is a bandster who went astray to do?

[Cherylita 0]

I had the LAP-BAND® in 2008. As of today I have only lost 70lbs. I know 70 is good, don't get me wrong, but that 70 used to be 85-90. I have been thinking lately of what could be going on. It was actually a comment from my mom that got me thinking....I told her that I am getting a fill today and her response was "awww no". Then I started thinking. Lately (the past few months) I have been eating way past full and its just to make the people around me comfortable. That made me think about a comment my BFF told me a couple of months ago. We were having our "girl's day" and she was saying how she missed her friend. The one that used to go smorgasborg by getting food at different restaurants for an in-home buffet. My DH also shows happiness with a frozen mocha drink or candy bar or something sweet. Don't get me wrong, All of these people love me, They were the backing force behind me getting the band. But, I don't think they realized the change that was in store for their "favorite eating friend" and for them. What happened was I started going back to as close to my old way of eating as possible, to make them comfortable. It doesn't help, that sometimes it feels as though I have no band at all. I had a fill last month and I had to drink the barium so they could check to make sure I had no slippage or dilation, etc. So today I am going for another fill and hopefully this will do it. We keep "missing by that much" when it comes to the sweet spot.

But the problem now is how do I go back to the bandster way and tell them I can't be that same person ever again? How do you tell the people who love you that their sadness for my eating smaller portions is hindering my success? and how do you convince yourself that it's okay to finish eating or push the plate away when everyone else is still eating? UGH! I love that I have lost the weight, but I hate that I am still trying to make everyone else around me comfortable with the change that I need to make! Sometimes I feel that if I push the plate away when I am actually full, I become the center of attention. It's like that point in a movie where everyone is doing the same thing and one person does something different and everyone stops and stares at them...I know I need to realize that it's not up to me to make them comfortable, but it's hard to not be the one that makes everyone comfortable when that's the person I have always been....

Anyone else know what I am talking about or have suggestions??

Thanks,

Cheryl

[LarraineM 6]

You know what to do, it dosen't really matter about anyone elses thoughts on how much you are eating.............They are not on you journey,only you.........

[btrieger 21]

The sooner you start worrying about yourself more than others, the easier it will be.

It's like they say on the airplane, take care of your own oxygen mask before helping your neighbors.

[Cherylita 0]

Thanks everyone! I went for my fill and am now at 10cc in my 14cc band. I know 11cc is too much-been there choked on that lol-It feels like its going to be a good fill, but the day after might be too early to tell. I talked with my family last night and got alot of things straightened out. They will quit feeling sorry for me and my smaller portions and I will quit trying to be the old eater for their benefit! Hopefully me and my "Lil Bandida" can start to work together and I will soon be on the "losing" side of this battle. *wink*

Thanks again! Y'all are such great inspirations!

Cheryl

[Losing 2 0]

Thanks everyone! I went for my fill and am now at 10cc in my 14cc band. I know 11cc is too much-been there choked on that lol-It feels like its going to be a good fill, but the day after might be too early to tell. I talked with my family last night and got alot of things straightened out. They will quit feeling sorry for me and my smaller portions and I will quit trying to be the old eater for their benefit! Hopefully me and my "Lil Bandida" can start to work together and I will soon be on the "losing" side of this battle. *wink*

Thanks again! Y'all are such great inspirations!

Cheryl

Wow! What a revelation for me....

I need to have that talk with myself..

Thanks for sharing. Continued success to you.