I'm torn about telling

[gracierose 0]

I am a registered nurse who will be banded sometime in October. I'm being selective on who I am telling, only close friends, my sister, niece and sister-in-law. Not mother or mother-in-law (they would drive me crazy with questions and concern. I couldn't take it!):confused:

My dilemma is my co-workers. A couple of nurse colleagues have had bariatirc and were very open. I on the other hand am more private. Co-workers are going to know without a doubt due to my pre and post diets along with absence from work and weight loss. Should I just get it over with and send an email the day before or endure answering questions later?

For the most part we are a supportive staff, however, many are very health conscious and will judge me that's for certain.

[Tayter 0]

I too am a private person....I told no one except my mother and my boyfriend of 11 years. We didnt even tell our kids.... I had my surgery on a Thursday and went back to work Monday. No one at work had a clue. I was walking kind of slow, just told them I didnt feel well... When I got home that Friday from my surgery, I told the kids I wasnt feeling well and stayed in bed most of the weekend... I am eating a little and walking on both breaks now, so when people ask, I tell them exercise and watching what I eat. No one has a clue!!!

[1019Joanne 0]

First of all, congratulations on making this decision to better yourself. Secondly, if you tell people, its YOUR business. You don't have to say one word to anyone, and if a co-worker asks, then its up to you on whether or not you want to share, or just let them wonder. This is up to you.

I took the approach that I was going to tell everyone, no secrets, no cover ups - just 100% honesty. But that was me, and my decision.

I wish you all the best! Here is to a whole new you!

[Supporting Spouse 0]

You do not owe your co-workers an advance "heads up" on such a private issue. They are just co-workers and your business is your business. Good luck!:confused:

[gracierose 0]

Thanks all. It may come out eventually, I'm just not ready to "talk and tell":tt2:

[cwm812 11]

Thanks all. It may come out eventually, I'm just not ready to "talk and tell":tt2:

I work in a hospital and I've been there a long time.

Everyone knows me. I only told 4 people prior to be banded. They needed to know because they were covering for my absence. While it's nobody's business, I don't lie well. I figured it was easier for me to tell them, than to lie about the surgery. I also told them that I didn't want everyone to know. They were great and supportive.

After I came back to work and started losing weight, everyone started wondering. I've been honest with those who have asked and I've had no problems from anyone. You are right, it will come out, but when it does you'll be ready and confident. I think that is the key. When you are confident that you have made the right decision, people don't give you grief about it.

Cindy

[Jennim89 0]

I also work in a hospital...the hospital i will be having my surgery in. This means that there is no way around my coworkers knowing. So I have decided that if they know, they know but I personally don't want to offer it up. Most would be overly supportive, I just don't want judgements to be passed that don't need to be. The only people that know are my very supportive mother, unsupportive father, and my bestfriend. I'm contemplating telling my boyfriend of 5 years but even though I trust him, I live in a small town and am afraid everyone would soon know. So i agree-it is a personal decision and neither is wrong. Its whatever works for you. Just know, there is nothing better you can do for yourself then improve your health...and when it comes down to it, who really cares what others think!! Goodluck everyone

[troopnine 0]

OMG. I wasn't going to tell anybody either but a nurse I work with (I'm a nurse), was talking about having it done and how much it was going to cost her out of pocket with the surgeon she was going to. I told her about my surgeon and she decided that all information was open business. So although I didn't plan on talking about it it seems everyone at our hospital knows. Oh well no biggie BUT BUT BUT

My complaint is that one of my co-workers constantly asks how much have you lost every time she sees me. It got on my nerves so bad I told another co-worker that next time she asked I was going to ask her how much she gained. Apparently the message got back to her because she stopped asking. Effective stoppage! LOL

My weight loss is my battle and although I appreciate support, I don't want to air my progress daily. I am in for the long haul not the sprint.

[Crispaholic 7]

Do waht feels right for you....your decision is private and only you should chose to tell those close to you.....who cares about your co-workers....say nothing unless they ask you.....just tell them what you want them to know....as for judging you....do you really care what they think??????? If you want to share with a very good co-worker do .....but its none of their business.....and trust me you can get away or avoid them at meal times so they don't know :biggrin:

Best of luck with everything :thumbup:

[Ravey 0]

Thanks so much for your post. It makes me feel supported in my own decision for privacy.

At work, I had to tell my boss I was having surgery, but I didn't say what for, and he didn't ask. At home, my husband and kids know, and I chose to tell only one friend and one sister-in-law. Not my own sister or mom. I don't really have a reason why I told some and not others, and I don't feel I need to justify it to anyone. I love them just the same, and I'm sure there are things in their lives that they haven't shared with me.

As for weight loss, that's just fine if everyone knows I'm dieting. I need lots of support there and I sure love the compliments when someone notices I've lost weight. (I also don't then need to explain why I mix dry curd cottage cheese in with my no-fat yogurt in the coffee room!!)

All the best to you.

[elizabeth39 0]

we definately need each other my situation is simular. I have only told family. Im not telling anyone else yet

[Crispaholic 7]

Glad the responses have helped....actually the scars are the very same as gall bladder scars so the band scars can pass for them.....I am 2 months post operation and no one can really notice that I am avoiding certain foods or eating less...when I go for dinner they just think I am being healthy and cutting out carbs ....I just told some close family and best friend about the operation, at first my dad could not understand as he thought I was not overweight but he supported my decision, now he is telling me how great I look.

Other friends think I am just cutting out carbs from my diet and that way no one knows I had the operation, just make sure you have eaten the food before as you do not want to introduce a food when your not too sure how you will react in public....I did go out with my sister and tried nachos and got the sharp pain so I know not to chose them when out with friends....as for worrying about food for lunch time Pasta goes down very easy low fat yoghurts....or slim fast for the liquid stage of your diet.....really you tend to worry that people are noticing what your eating or not eating because your aware of your secret....but really they don't....I have just come back from 2 weeks holidays in Greece with 6 of my friends and none of them noticed the food choices....one only noticed I was not drinking sparkling wine.....so I just said I was detoxing and did not want to drink....follow your own gut feeling....best of luck you will not know yourself when you get it done

Edited August 28, 2010 by Crispaholic