I Told My Parents Tonight!

[kittykat56 0]

I've been working toward my surgery date for almost a year now. While I've discussed this change in my life with my husband, I've not talked about it at all with my parents. Since my surgery date is a month away, I thought this would be a good time to tell my parents. My dad, who is generally very supportive of my life decisions, laughed at me. He said if I would just cut back on my food intake, I could accomplish the same results. I was so shocked that I couldn't dispute a word. I just gave him the informational booklet and left.

So here I sit and I am so disappointed that I can't stand it! I plan to talk about it some more tomorrow after I've calmed down a bit.

Has anyone else had a similar experience? If so, what did you do?

[hutch&marleysmama 0]

First of all, Congrats on the journey to a new & healthier you! Embrace it and Enjoy it!

I have no words of advice or anything for you. I have been lucky and have wonderful support from my family and the few friends that I have told.

After you have had a chance to 'calm down' talk it over again with your dad. Let him know why you decided it and why you feel you need this. Give him all the information you know. If it helps maybe he could attend a doctors visit with you so he can ask questions or learn more about it.

Good Luck with getting his support but do not let it affect your happiness! You need to keep a positive mind during this process!

[zeniada 9]

I've been working toward my surgery date for almost a year now. While I've discussed this change in my life with my husband, I've not talked about it at all with my parents. Since my surgery date is a month away, I thought this would be a good time to tell my parents. My dad, who is generally very supportive of my life decisions, laughed at me. He said if I would just cut back on my food intake, I could accomplish the same results. I was so shocked that I couldn't dispute a word. I just gave him the informational booklet and left.

So here I sit and I am so disappointed that I can't stand it! I plan to talk about it some more tomorrow after I've calmed down a bit.

Has anyone else had a similar experience? If so, what did you do?

I'm sorry that you didnt have a very productive outcome with your father. my mom in law was the same she said that SHE was able to lose lbs by cutting back bla bla bla. I then stated well since i'm not her nor will my body ever be like her's I have to do what is right for me. after trying every diet out there losing and gaining it was time for me to take the next step. i have friends who have said "that's so drastic" i just refer to my quote at the bottom of my signature "They are like slinkes not good for much....."

So keep your head up do what is best for you and Good Luck...

[Lanah 0]

Thank you for posting this. I was with my parents tonight and I wanted to tell them so badly, but I couldn't. I know their reactions will be something similar to your dad's. The closer I am to having this become a reality and the more convinced I am that this is the best decision I have made, I realized anyone who matters will support ME. It might not be their first reaction, but they will come around and agree that this will improve our quality of life. I will tell them soon.

[sparky1582 4]

I have not told my Dad. He has told me on many occasions that "all you need to do is..." Well all I need to do is to take care of ME! People who are not over weight will never understand the hold food has on some of us. I have told my sister-in-law, my mother-in-law and my wife's best friend. They are all behind me 100% and very supportive. I think if my mother was still here she would be supportive.

I hope your Dad comes around.

[Humming Bird 275]

I think he will come around. When you have more than 40 pounds to take off it is just too hard to take it off and keep it off. A year from now when you have dropped 100# and look and feel great, your dad will be happy you did it. After you cool down tell your dad you need his support with this.

[jigglebutt1 0]

I am so sorry you are feeling sad about your dads reaction. How was your moms reaction?

I will only be telling my husband and 1 sister because I dont want to hear that reaction. My only suggestion is to tell him that you are informing him of a choice that has been made. No point in treating it like it like it is there is room for debate. Nothing will come of debating it other than bad feelings because -again-the choice has already been made.

[HAL380 0]

Hello Kitty Kat;

I am so sorry about your dad's reaction. I was banded 7/1, and still have no restriction, and my weight loss is only from my new eating pattern. I have only told my wife, and would not have told her if I could have driven myself home from the hospital.

I have been reading the forums for over a year. From all my readings, I see no benefit from telling others of our decision.

I realize we want suport and affirmation. However the uninformed judgements made by our "Loved Ones" and Well intentioned (????) co-workers are not worth it. Since you have done a proper job of research, and have submitted yourself to a psych and Nut. professional assesment you have been found sane and able to make informed decisions. Have confidence in yourself and go forward with head held high. Few things are more attractive in a person than self assurance.

Warm regards

Hal

[khath0620 20]

I have gotten the "all you need to do is..." speech before and, for those saying it, they don't understand how hurtful and frustrating it is! I HAVE tried everything out there and some things I have tried (i.e. starvation, purging, overexercising, diaretics/laxatives, high Protein, low carb, high Fiber, grapefruits, etc) only worked for a short time and ended up hurting me. I, of course, ended up gaining what I lost plus some each time.

I don't know where I got the strength from but I ended up saying to those who didn't really support my decision at first that this was MY decision, it is based on the support from my primary care physician, it is safe and this is not something I chose out of desperation but rather the determination to live a good, long, and HEALTHY life with my family. I think in my situation the person (my brother) was trying to get me not to do it just because they didn't know enough about it and were afraid that I would be doing harm to my body. He said it "wasn't natural" for people to have foreign objects in their bodies. I quickly reminded him about people with pacemakers, hip or knee replacements, etc.

Take pride in the fact that you are choosing life! Remember that this is your life and, as someone else said, your dad will ultimately realize down the line when you are down 40# that this was a good thing. It is the safest surgical option with the least complications.

Good luck and keep your chin up!

:confused: Katie