female only In need of some serious advice!

[melmarlem 0]

I haven't been on here in a while, it sure is nice to be back! I know this is the one place I can turn to for some much needed advice!

Here's the deal. For 8 months now I've been talking to an amazing guy. 2 months ago we decided to be exclusive. Everything is a fairytale except...his ex wife is still in the picture! They have no children together. I'm having a hard time understanding why she still remains in his life. Twice now my boyfriend and I have gone out with his ex-wife and her fiance. Crazy, I think!! I feel completely uncomfortable around her and I think that's only normal. He on the otherhand doesn't understand why I am uncomfortable with them remaining "friends". What do you all think? Is this something I should be bothered by? Should I be comfortable with someone I really care about still being associated with his ex-wife? Even if they don't have children? I want to be able to move forward with him and to focus on the future but I feel like it's impossible when he's still living in the past...

[The Fireman 1]

My ex,I wouldnt pee on her if she was on fire.It is war.

Edited August 17, 2010 by The Fireman

[darkangel 0]

My ex,I wouldnt pee on her if she was on fire.It is war.

LMFAO!!!! ....that made me laugh!!!

....I wouldnt...... why would he want to hang with her??? unless he is not serious about you???

its one thing to be friends....but to talk and hang out??? how do you know he isn't fukin her???? you will never know right??? unless your not open to that....and you dont like it.....well girl....there are plenty of men out there.... go get another one!!!!

[joecs1 4]

I have a friend who is best friends with his ex-wife. They realized they were not meant to be married, but shortly after divorce, they realized they were friends. It was weird for all of us, going out with his girlfriend and ex at the same time. nobody knew how to act when put in that situation. In time, we learned. I wouldnt say its wrong to feel that way! As long as they know where their relationship is.

[Renob 1]

I have a strange story my ex and wife became very good friends lol my wife asked her to be in our wedding lol and her parents flew out and and her father sang at our wedding my wife and her are great friends but being we live so far from them now we never hang out.

[ColoradoSuccess 0]

Ex-spouses cannot be friends. An individual can remain civil with an ex if minor children are involved. But friends? No.

A relationship with someone who chooses to remain "friends" with an ex-spouse is a bad headache which will deepen into an unforgiving and never ending Migraine.< /p>

[LeighaMason 19]

Oh look, your dating a grown up! Someone who can get past personal hurt and forgive someone. I always think someone is still "attached" if they insist on being mean to each other. It takes way more energy to be mean, you have to still care a lot to take the time to do it.

[gingerjane 5]

Ok - I'm sort of on the other side of this so hopefully my position helps. I dated someone (we weren't married but almost were) for three years and I've been married to my husband for 12 years, but there are times when we go over to his brother's house and he is there and we have grill outs, etc.

Was it weird at first? Yea. But, he and I are just friends, there are no feelings there (at least on my side) and he and my husband actually get along well.

Now, I will say if it were reverse where it was my husband's ex, I'm not going to lie, I would be uncomfortable just like you. So, I can TOTALLY see your side, too. What does he say when you approach him about the subject?

[OneYearLater 14]

What kind of vibe are you getting from them when they are around each other? Do they act more like old buddies, or is there a little bit of flirtation going on? If the vibe is more like flirtation, that's a big red flag. It might be some weird little game they have going on to make each other jealous using their current flames as pawns. If it's more of a buddy vibe...then count your blessings. You are dating a guy that is mature enough to get past previous feelings and see the good in people and has no problem getting into relationships and keeping friendships. Nothing wrong with that...

There isn't much that will turn a guy off more than insecurity...so make sure that you aren't showing any.

Good luck!

[galthom 0]

Exactly, why he is stick to his wife. If he doesnt love her then he should leave her.. n be with u only. He should be loyal to 1 only..

Edited September 22, 2010 by galthom

[honk 780]

It could be possible that they decided that they were better friends than lovers. I know I have friends that do things that are okay for them but would irritate me if we were in a relationship. Not being together means being able to walk away or decline to do things are not hang out with people you don't like. If you NEVER get to go out on dates alone that is an issue. If occationaly a group off friends goes out to dinner and she is there big deal. It might be nice if he never had a serious relationship before you but is that realistic?