Discouraging friends anyone?

[spoiltmom 44]

Some friends of ours just stopped by to visit. I should never have told them I had Lap Band. Her mom had it done and she throws up and gags all the time and can only eat soft foods like mashed potatoes. She's 3 YEARS post op but she always, always gets her band over filled that way she can't eat.

Now they just keep telling me how I'm going to be sick all the time and yadda, yadda. I keep trying to explain to them that she's probably sick all the time b/c she's overfilled. She also drinks cokes, uses a straw and fills up on melted ice cream b/c that's the only thing that will go down.

They are so discouraging:( They said I should have gotten Gastric Bypass instead- Uh no that's too invasive.

[countrygirl962 1]

Some friends of ours just stopped by to visit. I should never have told them I had Lap Band. Her mom had it done and she throws up and gags all the time and can only eat soft foods like mashed potatoes. She's 3 YEARS post op but she always, always gets her band over filled that way she can't eat.

Now they just keep telling me how I'm going to be sick all the time and yadda, yadda. I keep trying to explain to them that she's probably sick all the time b/c she's overfilled. She also drinks cokes, uses a straw and fills up on melted ice cream b/c that's the only thing that will go down.

They are so discouraging:( They said I should have gotten Gastric Bypass instead- Uh no that's too invasive.

I have heard the remarks as well...one told me that they haven't seen anyone lose weight with the band (then I will be the exception) and I should have had the bypass, I am with to invasive. Also heard well you can eat anything you want...man people need to read up on things before opening their mouths sometimes.

Hang in there...we WILL do this and do it the right way!

From now on when I hear the naysayers, I am just gonna tell them oh yeah...watch this!

[btrieger 21]

I would tell them that it is not the surgery that is bad; their mother just happens to be a clueless idiot. That would definitely either change the subject fast or make them leave. Either way, you wouldn't have to hear the discouraging remarks.

[KAS1971 0]

I have a very best friend who I used to speak to daily & see 3-4 times a week . Back in Feb. I let her know my mom & I were attending a informational seminar, was free and asked if she was interested in joining us. She needs this as much as I do if not more. Think we have spoken 3 times since and obviously the subject has never come up. Not even sure she knows I stuck with it and have a date yet..

[vlp1968 83]

Don't let others get you down. You made a decision based on what was best for you. I agree that gastric bypass is to invasive and more risk for complications.

You may want to have a talk with these friends and explain you need support. Or at least they can say nothing if they don't have anything positive to say.

[msdv 5]

This is why I decided not to tell anyone but then I did tell at least 3 close friends and I already feel like that's too many .

This was a very personal and hard decision to make so I am not tolerating anyone giving me a hard time about it.

I understand whatever decision a person has to make for their own good but I cannot see cutting up my stomach or intestines unless I am told I have a cancer or something like that . A person is an idiot that suggests you have such an invasive surgery over the lap band and their ill-informed .

I'm gonna do what I have to do for myself and whoever doesn't like it is welcome to step off and never speak to me again.

[odamay 4]

That is why i decided NOT to tell anyone, only my husband knew. It was my decision, I did not need anyones negativity to try to change my mind. I may not of lost alot like some banders (I am a slow looser)But what I have lost Has not came back on and for that I am very happy for my choice. and I still don't tell or explain to anyone only a few people know and thats how i like it. Good Luck and dont let anyone discourage you.

[MRSKOUBiK 27]

Remember that each person is different. YOU made this decision, so I'm sure you did some research before having the surgery.

My husband said the same things to me when I told him I wanted the surgery. He judged my mom's experiences and forgot that I may have a completely different situation from her.

[gogtigirlgo 0]

I have been very selective about the people I've told. The one person that I thought would be super happy for me hasn't been... but everyone else has been really supportive - My extended family - Aunts and Uncles have all been very happy. My Dad - who is that one person - isn't unsupportive vocally, but I know from how he reacts about it, that he's not excited for me. He thinks I could do this on my own - because I have in the past... but the difference this time is I want to keep it off!

The people you tell will all react differently - and not everyone will respond in the way you were expecting them to... but in the end, this isn't about them and how they feel about it. This is about you, so don't let the negativity get you down. You know what's right for you! And besides - you've already had it done! So poo poo to them, Spoiltmom :cursing:

[missgypsy 1]

family and friends all seem to do that at one time or another. my family is very supportive of me. it makes it lots easier when they are like that. if i didn't have my mom or my husband behind me i would be lost. now friends they are a different story. i've lost friends and it's ok. was just there time to go- they served there purpose in my life. i have one friend who had the bypass and gained her weight back and now has an ulcer. so no not all surgeries are going to work for everyone. i think it's had bad you want it to how well it will work for you. we all did this for ourselves. no one is going to do it for us. good luck!! :cursing:

[Llyra 3]

I kept it pretty much to myself and a couple of good friends until I got through the surgery, bandster hell and had begun to adjust to my new lifestyle- no sense in adding unsolicited and uninformed advice and commentary while I was dealing with a difficult situation.

I haven't exactly taken out an ad in the paper now, but I tell people I've had the procedure done if the subject of weight comes up. No one has been rude, in fact most people react positively, probably because my friends and acquaintances are really nice people.:cursing:

[Lap2Fab 3]

I'm a big fat liar because I haven't told anyone and actually did a happy dance when they told my husband that they fixed a hiatal hernia while they were in there. So, now that I'm recovering, I'm just telling everyone my diet is part of that surgery. Yes, I'm lying to all of them and there are times I feel guilty, but I just don't want anyone commenting on what was a very hard and well thought out decision. There is a reason they make you take your time and jump through hoops to get the surgery, you take the time to educate yourself. There are tons of people on here who have succeeded! I've showed my husband some before and after pictures and he has been so impressed! He knows he's going to get a healthier wife, and he's said that's all he's worried about...is me getting healthy again. So, I'm a big fat liar, but someday...I'll be a big skinny liar!

[dzeteo 0]

I'm a big fat liar because I haven't told anyone and actually did a happy dance when they told my husband that they fixed a hiatal hernia while they were in there. So, now that I'm recovering, I'm just telling everyone my diet is part of that surgery. Yes, I'm lying to all of them and there are times I feel guilty, but I just don't want anyone commenting on what was a very hard and well thought out decision. There is a reason they make you take your time and jump through hoops to get the surgery, you take the time to educate yourself. There are tons of people on here who have succeeded! I've showed my husband some before and after pictures and he has been so impressed! He knows he's going to get a healthier wife, and he's said that's all he's worried about...is me getting healthy again. So, I'm a big fat liar, but someday...I'll be a big skinny liar!

That is TOO funny. I LOL'd when I envisioned you doing the happy dance.

[JMinDallas 1]

I didn't tell anyone either. None of their business. Don't want anyone judging me. My hubby and my sister are the only ones that know.

I even at times regret telling my sister (but she helped finance me!) since she says are you sure you can eat/drink that? OMG! Glad she lives in another state and only visits every few months.

I've had people ask if I've lost weight. I say yes, just trying to eat better (which is totally true) and that's all I say about it.

[Llyra 3]

One of the things that really sucks about having a weight problem is the number of people who feel they have some sort of moral right and/or obligation to make comments on what we put in our mouths or how we conduct our lives. My stock reaction for anyone who has the unmitigated gall to do so: A cold stare and, "Why on earth would you make such a personal remark?"

Too many of us are programmed to apologize for our size, what we eat, how much room we take up in a theater seat. When someone chides us, we bow our heads, acknowledge our inferiority, and promise to do better.

Well, I say the hell with it. Stand up, talk back, learn to be polite but firm, or just tell those people to go to the devil. We're overweight, we aren't childish, stupid, uneducated or in need of constance survellance by society. I am willing to bet most individuals on this forum know more about weight control than ten skinny civilians, so why do we let the uneducated and unexperienced buffalo us with unsolicited comments?

Eleanor Roosevelt said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

Quit giving consent, hold your head high, and fight back.