Need help, feel like a failure....

[b9409 1]

Okay, fellow bandsters....I need help.

It's been almost a year since I was banded, in 3 weeks it will be my one year bandiversary. I've only lost 25 lbs.

I can't seem to lose weight! I've gone back to eating crappy, high calorie slider foods, and can't seem to force myself to make changes.

I have been going swimming every night and doing some Water exercises (usually for at least 30 mins) a day. But, I'm having problems eating healthy.

Here's what I've had to eat today:

Breakfast: fruit and Yougurt parfait from McDonalds. Diet Dr. Pepper

Lunch: 2-3oz. pork tenderloin. 1/2 c. Pasta salad (Suddenly Salad) and 1/4 c. cottage cheese

"Stress snack at work": 1 can Pepsi

Dinner: 3/4 baked potato with hot link sausage on top, cheese, and about 1/2 TBSP sour cream.

For after dinner, I get lonely and will probably eat. I have leftover brownines, and will probably want to eat one with a glass of milk.

HELP me! I am really getting bummed out with my lack of progress one year later....

[Humming Bird 275]

Have you had fills ? Do you have restriction? When was the last time you went in for a follow up/fill?

There is no way I could eat some of the things on your list due to the amount of restriction I have.

[SoccerMomma73 1,867]

You pretty much just have to suck it up and start making changes. No one is holding you down and cramming brownies down your throat (I hope!). Step by step, small changes. It's great that you are exercising and swimming, are you doing any cardio to work with it? What's the easiest thing to give up? I'd start with the pepsi, trade it for sugar free, OR water/flavored water/crystal light....

It doesn't sound like your amounts are too outrageous or you're eating all day long, you're just going for the high calorie, higher fat foods that won't help you lose weight.

Take it one day at a time. You CAN do this, but no one can do it for you...it's all up to you. Do something to fill the loneliness. Don't set at home and hurt yourself with junk it only makes things worse.

Good luck! You CAN do this, you just have to redirect yourself down the right path.

[BetsyB 9]

Breakfast: fruit and Yougurt parfait from McDonalds. Diet Dr. Pepper This is super-carby--and of the sugary variety, not good complex carbs; it's also not particularly nutrient-dense. Eating this for Breakfast would set me up for failure for the day---it just gives too much of a glycemic wallop, which is followed by a blood sugar plummet (and then exaggerated hunger). A McDonald's Breakfast is doable, if you have to eat on the run---but eggs would be a better choice. Better still, have a nice breakfast at home, not on the run. There are a million options; check out the recipes at bariatriceating.com.

Lunch: 2-3oz. pork tenderloin. 1/2 c. Pasta salad (Suddenly Salad) and 1/4 c. cottage cheese Was it 2 ounces of pork tenderloin, or was it 3? Or, really, could it have been more (or less)? It's perfectly reasonable not to weigh your food--but if you don't, you have to be aware that your estimates may be way off. Why the cottage cheese in addition to the pork? Would you have been as satisfied with a healthy serving of nonstarchy veggies as you were with a small portion of the Pasta salad? (The pasta salad really doesn't offer your body anything it needs, while veggies do---and usually are more filling.)

"Stress snack at work": 1 can Pepsi Just say NO. Seriously--this is what? 12 teaspoons of sugar in 12 ounces of liquid? Not good--even if your doctor doesn't recommend against carbonation. Again, a bolus of sugar like this causes your blood sugar to surge, then plummet---and makes you hungrier in the long run. And really--how did it help you address your stress? Not at all. How about lacing up a pair of shoes you keep at your desk, and taking a stress walk instead?

Dinner: 3/4 baked potato with hot link sausage on top, cheese, and about 1/2 TBSP sour cream. Again, how about bumping up the Protein (choosing a good-quality lean source; sausage is really not among the best options, though there's nothing wrong with it now and then), and choosing non-starchy veggies with a bit of heart-healthy fat (such as a salad with dressing made with olive oil, or asparagus roasted with olive oil and garlic? Or green Beans sauteed in a bit of peanut oil, with orange zest, a squirt of orange juice, some crushed red pepper, and garlic)?

For after dinner, I get lonely and will probably eat. I have leftover brownines, and will probably want to eat one with a glass of milk. (a) why do you have brownies, when you've identified that you are having difficulty eating appropriately? ( how will brownies and milk in any way address loneliness? © what do you think will happen to your blood sugar as a result of this snack? And how will that affect your hunger in the long run? (It will surge, then plummet--and you will set yourself up for more hunger---and repeat the cycle all over again.

Look, I know it's difficult, but you need to change your relationship with food. And you may have to create some very strict rules for yourself, at least for the short term, to break some of these self-defeating habits.

Do you journal what you eat, so that you can see the breakdown of calories, fat, carb, Protein? If not, it can be really eye-opening. Sites like fitday.com are really helpful.

food is not your friend. It does not relieve loneliness. It does not relieve stress. It exacerbates both---you're creating a rollercoaster of blood sugar surges that ultimately make you feel worse. And that's not even taking into account the fact that it's impeding your weight loss!

I don't think you're at the stage, emotionally, where you can say, "I am able to eat what I like, just less of it." It sounds as though you need more structure---some actual rules to follow.

What kind of regimen does your doctor recommend?

Speaking of doctors, how long has it been since you've seen yours? I would recommend biting the bullet, heading in, and having a good talk with him. It sounds like a band adjustment might be in order. And it sounds like a refresher with the nutritionist might be in order, too.

If you're like me, you probably avoid the doctor when the news from the scale won't be good--but really---do it. And consider asking for a referral to a therapist who can help you reframe your relationship with food so that it doesn't control you any more. It will be such a relief to you, to place food in its proper place in your life.

[adagray 1]

I would recommend joining Weight Watchers. I know none of us wants to do that after having surgery, but it sounds like you need more structure around the foods you are eating and more guidance as far as how to deal w/emotional eating. Weight Watchers can help w/all of that. I have done WW a lot and although it was not the answer for me to keep the weight off, I learned a lot that helps me make better use of my band now. The difference w/doing WW w/the band, though, is you won't feel so hungry all the time. If you do, then go get an adjustment to your band as well. Best of luck to you!

[b9409 1]

Thanks for your thoughts!

Here's a couple of mine in return:

I have been MUCH better about my food choices until I feel off the wagon recently. I stopped journaling my food (which was helping a TON), and I have not had healthy food choices in my fridge.

The hardest thing for me is that I have zero support. I live alone in a "new" town, and have no friends or family in this area. So, evenings are definately harder for me to stay on track. I have helped fill this time by swimming, which has helped me cut down on crappy food.

Since I live alone and work long hours, it's hard for me to make healthy dinners and keep the fridge stocked with good choices. I CAN do better about this....

Anyway, I agree with all of you. I just need to suck it up and get back on the wagon.

What have your struggles been with emotional eating, and how did you overcome them?

[NurseShay 24]

I agree with what the others suggested you do. You definitely need to redefine your relationship with food. I had a rough 2 months in bandster hell feeling like I could not stop myself once I got to a desperate kind of hungriness. Cravings are torture! I never was a big sugar eater so cutting out soda & sweets came easy but I'm a carbs addict & soon after surgery found my way back on rice, Pasta & bread daily. My new found weakness: brownies!! Fine time to start liking choolate. I also had a lot of stress at home & work and truly saw how much of an emotional eater I am. So I avoided my fill appt for fear of showing up after over 8 weeks still at the same weight or only losing a few lbs. I was actually my worried about letting them down! But I realized this is not the doctors battle its mine. Who cares if he's disappointed in me I need help & clearly I can't do it alone. Turns out I did lose a little (which is always better than gaining) & by going in for that fill I FINALLY have some noticiable restriction. It was like the honeymoon period again of when I was first banded & had a lot of hope this would work. I feel rejuvenated & motivated again. Please go to your doctor & talk to him & get a fill. In a years time you could have had several fills & found your sweet spot so something tells me if you're still feeling hungry enough for 3 meals plus Snacks then you haven't gotten your restriction so the band is not yet able to fully do its job. If you live alone then what's in your frig is on you so find healthy things you actually like to eat. Personally I love salad with lots of veggies & sliced turkey or chicken. Buy evrything low/fat free. Ditch the soda for crystal light. Little changes will help & you won't feel like you're dieting. Swimming is good but some weight training is helpful to increase your metabolism. Once you see improvement on the scale you'll be much more motivated to make better food choices & get up & active every day. On bad days I try to remember that I'm in the middle of a competition with myself & try to find other avenues of stress relief rather than eating. BUT if & when I do slip up I don't forfeit completely; I eat that brownie and "owe" myself an extra workout. After an extra workout I don't make that mistake again- at least for a while. If you can't hold yourself accountable find someone to be accountable to. You can find excercise buddies online, here, youtube, WW, a personal trainer or even just a friend or family member that you call & check in with weekly. Don't give up!!! This is a vicious cycle its up to you to end it & reclaim your life. Best wishes!

[NikkiChantel 0]

Well, what can I say, getting on this site was the best thing I ever did. I have not had the lapband procedure, however, I did have the Gastric RNY Procedure over 12 years ago. I have gained a lot of my weight back and have gone into some bad eating habits again, such as eating "slider" foods. I was considering having the lapband procedure as I was told they could do that over the top of the RNY. After reading a lot of the posts on here, it occurs to me that no matter what type of procedure a person has, you HAVE TO MAKE HEALTHY EATING CHOICES. The Dr's can make your stomach smaller, but its up to us to exercise and eat healthy.

I will say one thing. . .back when I had my surgery, the option for the lapband was not available. I understand they can make adustments and tighten up the band. That is wonderful. They can not do that the with the RNY. Once you have stretched it back out, it cannot be corrected.

Good luck to you and to everyone on here.

[Hollywood96 0]

You have to be willing to make the change. like everyone says on here ......YOUR BAND IS A TOOL!!!! Not a magic wand. i to fall into "unhealthy " eating from time to time. Im only Human!!!!!! Only YOU can fix this.

[ElfiePoo 109]

It's been almost a year since I was banded, in 3 weeks it will be my one year bandiversary. I've only lost 25 lbs.

I finally came to the conclusion that the band does squat for me in terms of losing weight because it all comes back to my own self-control. I have to *choose* to eat the right foods because the band will let me eat the wrong ones. I have to *choose* to put down the fork because the band will let me keep eating certain foods...and it's usually the bad ones.

I haven't figured out what good the band is yet, but I've not given up on it being helpful in the long run at keeping the weight off.

.

[Lap_dancer 8]

Congratulations on keeping up with the exercise! Be proud of that accomplishment, that's a positive step in the right direction.

I'm going to take a different approach with you because I discovered something about my own body.

I am very sensative to chemicals in foods. Specifically foods that are fast food or packaged in a box similar to Suddenly salad. What I found out was that something went haywire in me when I ate these foods that triggered hunger and also because I have chronic pain, a flair up. I began moving into fresh everything.

Another thing I am spotting is your sodium intake. Pepsi and other similar drinks can actually make me hungry. I also hold Water more readily than most people. Losing weight has been slower for me.

Try supplementing your diet with Protein shakes to get some Protein in your system. Yogurt is a great choice and if Water is hard for you to drink, try flavored bottle water like Propel.

Cutting back on sodium may open the dam and move the scales. Also, acknowledging what you ate daily helps. I have a tracker on MEDHELP.COM which does all the math for me on foods. You can see how much of what you are getting, protein, carbs, sodium, etc.,

Best of luck

[WENDY ANN 0]

High-Five Hollywood96. I was thinking the same thing! This band is a tool!!!! It helps you, You need to see your doctor. You got your advice here and it was all great advice. You have to want this for yourself! You and only you can make this work! Good luck sweety!! I have not been banded myself but am doing all the homework that I can and sometimes it might make me late for work, Hahaha!

[jingleboob 5]

It's not easy being in a new place where you don't know anyone. I've done it 3 times and it was easier when I was younger!!! My last move I was a hermit and never went out and only knew my co-workers. But what a great opportunity to meet people! Join the Y... take a class (anything- paining or clay or cake decorating!!! you don't have to eat the cake... but they're so fun to decorate!)

take a healthy cooking class!! learn to make wholesome good for you food.

you can do it!

[adagray 1]

I will say one thing. . .back when I had my surgery, the option for the LAP-BAND® was not available. I understand they can make adustments and tighten up the band. That is wonderful. They can not do that the with the RNY. Once you have stretched it back out, it cannot be corrected.

This is off subject, but I just wanted to mention 'Stomaphyx' because this is a new procedure that can shrink the pouch back down after RNY (when it has been stretched out). I heard about it on 'The Doctors' TV show, but if you google it, you can find out a lot more info. I'm not recommending it or anything, but just wanted to make you aware of it since I had never heard of it before seeing it on 'The Doctors'.

[PinkyinForney 0]

I would like to add to this post......I'm a newbie and I was banded about 2.5 years ago, I recently within the last 5 months had to have my band redone. With this new band (still Allergan) I don't have any restrictions at all. My Dr. warned me that with the new band you have to learn to eat all over again, because the new band doesn't have that wall you hit and then food comes back up. I need help! When I go and get fills they say that I should be filling some restriction but I'm not....I have 7 in a 10 band? What's the deal?