Are You Telling People?

[AmberK 5]

I have told people that I had the surgery and I have not received one negative comment. My family and friends are the BESTEST! I have even had some friends who were really inquisitive about the surgery and they wanted to hear all of the details.

When the weight loss becomes really apparent I wont hesitate to tell people what I did. I think that if I can help just one person make a life altering decision because of something that I have done then its definitely worth it!

But, im also not one to hold stuff in either- Im pretty much an open book and something this huge is not something that I could keep quiet about.

[tylee72198 10]

I will tell any body that asks. I really don't care what other people think.

If somebody does make a negative comment, then they can kiss my booty. :thumbup: Which is getting smaller by the way!

[cjett 0]

I have told everybody. I don't care what other people speak and I think it is just easier than keeping a secret.

I have not any negative comments from anybody.

[danide 0]

Thanks for all the input. You know, the funny thing is that I am more willing to tell strangers then family and friends. (many family members, especially my dads side, are pretty judgemental especially about weight so they can just kiss my SKINNY ass :thumbup: someday and friends... mmm well I only have 3 close friends and 1 is super skinny (almost anorexic) and the other is extremely over weight but a negative engery- the more someone is happy the more she tries to rain on them).

Im thinking that after I lose at least a significant amount of weight I probably would tell more people (but maybe not- depends on who I it is maybe) but Im gonna stick to just the few people I already told. Those few people are my support so I am comfortable with them.

THOUGH Ideally, I wouldn't have even told my boyfriend- avoided him for like 3 months lol- then just let him see me thinner. lol Buttttt Im obviously not doing that.

[mybarra4 0]

Hey Danielle,

I myself have only told my immediate family members & my inlaws. Idk, i think i wanna keep the rest of them guessing what i've done. I know it will come out eventually but until then, i'm keeping it on the DL! My surgery date is scheduled for August 27, 2010. I am absolutely so excited about it. I think i'm nervous too but i just think about the outcome of it all. I still have some questions though. I have my Pre Op August 18,2010. Everyone i have told are all extremely supportive & happy for me. My husband has been my rock through it all too. He even jokes with me saying im gonna want to leave him once i've lost the weight. He knows he's the best thing that ever happened to me. Him & my daughters are my reason for waking up every morning & being excited about life!! Good luck with everything! What is your surgery date?:thumbup:

[nsklors 0]

Thats a reason I dont really want to tell people also. Ive only told a few people besides my family and ive heard it all about how i could die from the surgery and its such a risk and blah blah blah. The way to look at it is, if i dont have the surgery.. im never going to lose the amount of weight to make me healthy.. and the obesity will contribute to health problems that may lead to death.

[shellydaisy86 0]

~Well i havent told anyone and i think im keeping it a secret for as long as i can... i just dont want negative feedbacks. the only people who know are the following: well my dearest friend who is having sx on fri 8.13.10 so excited ...and of course my hubby since we live together :tongue: and my mother and inlaws... but thats it.. i dont want my coworkers to know but im sure they will be asking.. and if they do maybe just maybe i will tell them.... but other than that i dont think i want to tell anyone.... :thumbup:~ so if u dont want to tell EVERYONE or ANYONE the choice is up to you...

good luck:thumbup:... and have fun

[NYsLegend78 29]

The only reason I don't tell everyone is cause of my wife not wanting people in her buisness but I could care less. I have told everyone of "my" friends and I noticed that all my fat friends are the ones telling me I don't need it SMH. I want to tell them that it's obvious diets are not working but I pretend to listen to them. All my slim friends are happy fore me :0)

[danide 0]

Thats funny NYslegend, its does seem that most "fat" people are the most discouraging and negative. Its like they don't want you to be great. Its hard to find truelly genuine people who just want the best for you and are genuinelly happy for good things in your life... very sad. Thats why I don't want to tell people I know. And the "thin" people just seem to want you to be in the "thin club" for their own reasons. Maybe Im just crazy.

[dar36 5]

Remember, once you tell someone, you cannot take it back. I didn't tell that many people, but I certainly wish I didn't tell some of the people that now know. My husband, my mother, and my best friend are incredible and have been supportive every step of the way.

The bottom line is that many people are judgemental and do not understand many of the health issues that we ere up against. They don't understand the seriousness of the co-morbitities. They haven't walked a minute in our shoes. So when I decided to tell some other people, I quickly realized that it was unrealistic to expect that each peson would understand and be supportive. Unfortunately, I learned this the hard way.

I have made a decision to have surgery and am making a positive step in a positive direction. I want to remain positive and do not want to have to defend my position or my health to people that I choose to tell and then tell me to just keep exercising and wathcing what I eat. Really, it's that simple eh? Again, they haven't walked in my shoes. I sound a little synical right now, but it just so happens that my entire family (expept my husband and my mother) think that because I lost the weight my insurance required, that I can lose the rest of it. Again, no one gets it expect a 2-3 people in my life. What started out as sharing my excitement and joy turned into defending my position. I discovered that this is something that is deeply personal to me and I don't want to share it with anyone else.

My advice, choose wisely. It is a VERY personal decision and I recommend following your instinct. I wish I followed mine. You have received a lot of input and feedback to this thread. I hope all of it has helped you.

On a side note, I get banded on August 17. I can tell everyone on this board because I know you ALL understand. Isn't it ironic that we can come to this place where we are strangers and get the help, motivation, and support we need from each other? I wish it was so with the people in our personal lives.

My best to all of you. Thank you to everyone who understands, takes the time out of their busy days to post comments and give encouragement. I am glad we have this outlet.

[DonTony 0]

I love Dar's opening comment because that was why I told several people. I cannot take it back. And I cant let myself or them down as well.

The funny thing though, is almost every person (except my parents) has told me 'I dont need it', 'Im not that heavy', 'You can do this with just dieting' etc. What's even funnier, is my rhetort to them. I ask them how much do I think I weigh?

The responses so far have ranged between 250 and 290. When I tell them 355 (well 337 now), they think Im lying.

The best one was from a female friend who said to me that Im 'big boned', and would look sickly if I went under 250.

However, once they realize how focused I am on having this done, everyone has been 100% supportive. I get banded on October 7th.

[dar36 5]

Tony. Most of the responses that I have received have been similar because my BMI was under 40. "You're not THAT heavy" or "try this diet" or "try this work out". I was also thin most of my life and was an athlete through college so people assume that I just gained weight after having two children and let myself go. It's nothing like that. I have developed significant co-morbities that have made it nearly impossible to lose more than 10-15 pounds regardless of how much "dieting" and exercise I do.

As you, I feel the same way about my husband, my mother, my best friend, but most of all me....I don't want to let anyone done. I now have accountability by sharing with others. But with that accountability comes milestones and succes, which I look forward to.

I enjoyed your positive post!

[Moo 0]

I'm a bit different than most I told my husband of course, my sister (but not my mom or the rest of my family) my 2 best friends one tries to talk me our of it and the other one doesn't care cuz she's too busy with her own life right now lol. Then I hit a snag with the funding... And had to pretty much tell my mother in law ... Hey I'm fat can you co sign for my weight loss surgery? I was devastated the conversation was an akward train wreck. I just am so upset about it I wouldn't even tell my own mom but I had to talk with her about it I don't plan on telling anyone else I mean unless they could benefit from knowing like if I think they would consider doing it themselves or something.

[dm5201 1]

No. I've only told 3 people.

[conservachick 0]

First of all, congratulations!!!

Secondly, I have told very few people... the only family that knows about it - husband, children, parents, brother and his wife... a few friends know but they also know NOT to share... I just don't want people judging me... nor do I want unsolicited advice or opinions. I'm doing this for me and my family.. and as long as I have their support, nothing else matters...

I'm actually quite nervous because in a few weeks I'm throwing a party for my daughter and the whole family will be coming over.... Well, I've lost 55 pounds since the end of April and I KNOW they're going to notice... and I don't like to lie.. but I'll have to just tell half truths... I'll be saying that I'm on a 1000 calorie diet, no more sodas or sugar, and I'm walking... which is all true.. just not gonna mention I had lap band surgerY! :wink2:

GOOD LUCK TO YOU!!!!