Are You Telling People?

[PrincessErin 64]

I got off track! My whole point was that I will be selective in who I tell until I start losing weight. At that point, I won't care who knows what.

[stateofzen 46]

I'm very new and at the very beginning of this process. In fact, I'm really still not sure if there will get to be a process.

Up until about 2 hours ago, I was totally full of excitement and ready to tell anyone that I was considering LAP-BAND® as my final attempt to lose weight.

I mistakingly posted a status on Facebook looking for info or input from friends who know of or had the surgery themselves.

Well, BIG mistake. I was told that I was taking the easy way out, that I didn't need it, that I should come to Weight Watchers meetings, that I should take phentermine and that I should hit the gym.

I'm sorry that you had this experience.

Ugh.

Here are a few responses I would consider, at least to vent with:

"Oh, so when did you graduate from medical school? I had no idea you were a doctor! Clearly, since you know better than the medical community there must be some brand spanking new research you heard about in med school and I'd love for you to be my primary care physician!"

"I didn't realize you'd ever been morbidly obese and knew the magic bullet to beat it. Please, tell me how you lost ___ lbs and became one of the 2% of people who kept it off at 5 years because I'd love to know!"

"Bite my fat (lazy, you must think) butt!" :cursing:

I'm mostly just joking-- naysayers have no idea what they are talking about but there's no convincing them so don't waste your breath. Sorry you had to hear it-- don't let it keep you from doing what you know, and the medical community knows, is the only effective long-term treatment for obesity.

[knixon39 0]

I feel quite the opposite. The more people around me that I have told; the more support I have gained. It keeps me accountable and I find that I want to really keep it up because everyone does know about it. If you feel good about what you have done; why be ashamed? Use it to your benefit by sharing...

[PrincessErin 64]

I'm sorry that you had this experience.

Ugh.

Here are a few responses I would consider, at least to vent with:

"Oh, so when did you graduate from medical school? I had no idea you were a doctor! Clearly, since you know better than the medical community there must be some brand spanking new research you heard about in med school and I'd love for you to be my primary care physician!"

"I didn't realize you'd ever been morbidly obese and knew the magic bullet to beat it. Please, tell me how you lost ___ lbs and became one of the 2% of people who kept it off at 5 years because I'd love to know!"

"Bite my fat (lazy, you must think) butt!"

I'm mostly just joking-- naysayers have no idea what they are talking about but there's no convincing them so don't waste your breath. Sorry you had to hear it-- don't let it keep you from doing what you know, and the medical community knows, is the only effective long-term treatment for obesity.

I really love those answers!!! I just decided to let it go. If I want someone to know, I'll tell them. Everyone has an opinion but *I* know me well enough to know what is good for me. OH well to the naysayers! <3

[sparky1582 4]

When my wife and I were just starting to date we had this happen to us. It was our third date. We met at a park for a day of walking, talking and dinner after. I noticed something was wrong with her attitude. Nothing really but something was different. The way she walked, the way she looked at me, the way she carried herself. I thought here we go, it's time for the "let's be friends" speech. As it turned out she had had gastric bypass and was afraid to tell me. She was afraid I would dump her!! When she told me I just Oh, OK. I could not imagine someone being that narrow minded. She had read on this web site about some people judging you for having these types of surgery. As it turned out I did not dump her and she did not give me the let's be friends speech and in May of 09 we married!!!

As for the question of the OP, No I have only told two others and they have both had gastric bypass. I have two wonderful friends and a wonderful wife to support me.

[stephokal 0]

:lol:hahahahahaha! I LOVE your answers "stateofzen!" Awesome. I guess I don't bother to not tell people because I don't care what they have to say. I've done all I know to do up until now, I've well-researched my decision and it's my business. I don't keep it a secret, but I'm sure not asking opinions either. It's so unfortunate some people are so narcisstic they assume their opinion matters. WE know how tough it is and how it can be painful and exhausting among all the other million difficulities the weight causes. That's all that matters.

[Kira Helene 0]

I told my husband, my best friend, and my Mom... My mother, then decided to tell everyone she knows and now I'm kinda mad about... I hate that she tells everyone. I really want to sit her down and just ask her to shut her mouth for once in her life, but, of course everyone knows now = and I'm not very happy with it.

[Mandyrae 0]

I feel quite the opposite. The more people around me that I have told; the more support I have gained. It keeps me accountable and I find that I want to really keep it up because everyone does know about it. If you feel good about what you have done; why be ashamed? Use it to your benefit by sharing...

Knixon, I have had the same reaction from friends and family. At first I didn't want to tell anyone cause I though I was taking the easy way out and I was being hard on myself and since I was then everyone else would. But once I got over that and started telling people I was very happy to hear they all supported me. The people at work are excited for me.. always asking for updates and are cheering me on, same with my friends and Family.

It breaks my heart to hear how others are being treated cause of this... I think the problem is people who don't have a weight problem of course would never understand but they see shows like biggest loser and think wow that person was 400 lbs and lost 200lbs just from eating right and working out.. and it only took them a few months. They don't see that is a 24/7 program that would be nearly impossible to get the same results from home.

In the end who cares what those people think? Once you have lost your weight and are healthy they will see how it really benefited you and will have a change of heart.

[jkangasrdh 0]

I have told all the people close to me. Friends, family, my boyfriends family. Heck I have even told my fav patients. Im just so excited to get it done. I don't care what their response is but so far not one negative remark. In fact, if they don't agree with it then they can suck it. I wouldn't care if someone talked negatively about it. I am awesome and having the lap-band is going to make me more awesome. We all rock! Screw everyone else against it. Woo!

[scottishmutt 0]

At first I felt just like you, but then I realized my friends and family love me fat, and they'll love me skinny. I knew I would need their support. Besides when I'm successful, I would love for others to know how I did it and why I made the decision to have lapband it may save them too. I respect your decision, but I figured word would get out anyhow, so why not let people help.

[Bryn 3]

I am in the beginning process of learning and waiting to find out if i'm a good candidate for the lapband. I have yet to have my first bariatric consultation, but already spoke to my PCP and going to a seminar this week.

I have not told anyone but my sister and my bf about my wanting to get lapband. My sister is supportive (just hoping she doesn't tell my mom just yet) and my bf is completely supportive.

I'm not telling anyone else about my interest because I'm not sure how they'll react. and I don't want to get too excited because i'm not even in the complete process yet and don't want others to feel bad or feel sorry for me if i don't get the surgery

[South Dakota Girl 0]

I am having surgery on Sept. 9th and the only people that know so far are my mom, husband and my boss and 2 co-workers. I have decided to wait and tell people until I have already had surgery. I think it will be easier and no one can try and talk me out of it. My husband has been very supportive in this LONG process. I started this process in Jan with filling out all the paper work.

[kittykat56 0]

Iive told only a few people. I've been open with my husband from the get-go. He was negative at first cause he thought I'd lose a bunch of weight then dump him casue he's overweight too. Once I reassured him that was not on my agenda, he's been very supportive. Then, I urged him to to get it too! (We're working on that.) I one of my good friends, who had it 2 years ago, and her mom and aunt (who is my daughter's babysitter.) She's overweight too, and all she could say was that her neice (my friend) has lost too much weight and looks sick and that I don't have that much weight to lose. I weigh nearly 300 lbs, what's she thinking?! While she's not what I'd call dead-set against it, she gave me the reaction I expect to hear from everyone else. "Oh, I don't think you need that. You don't look obese. You look great in your clothes. You don't want to lose too much weight. You don't want to look like you're sick, do you?" That's the reaction I DON'T want.

I told my parents about the surgery last night. My mom had very little reaction at that time, and I think she'll understand as she's fought the battle of bulge for as long as I can remember. My dad, who is usually the supportive one, had some smart ass remark about shutting my mouth and exercising more. I was devastated. However, I did let him know that my mind is made up and I'd like him to be informed about what I'm doing, but his opinion will not affect my decision to have the surgery.

I've not told anyone else at this point, and I'm not sure that I will rigth away. My supervisors and coworkers know I'm having "surgery" in Sept as we're making arrangements for my absence on the schedule. Otherwise, they have no idea. And I don't intend to tell them right now. Of course, they'll probably figure it out when I do my Pre-Op liquid diet. I'm really just playing it by ear right now.

[TracyNYC 4]

I let waaaaaaaay too many people know. I wish I had zipped up. After losing 30lbs., one woman at work who has always made remarks about my weight, said something to the effect of "Too bad the surgery did not take. You are bigger than ever." I informed that she needed an eye-surgeon as I was losing and pretty much shut her up!

I am not ashamed of doing it and will share, but wish I had been more discreet.

[yemaya 0]

i hear that!! i tried alot of things as well you need to do whats best for you