Are You Telling People?

[danide 0]

:rolleyes2:So the only people that know that I am going to get the lap-band is my parents, my sister (and brother in law) and my boyfriend. Not even my brother knows right now (im affraid that he will slip and tell other family members). I told 1 friend that I was considering it months ago, but she doesn't know that I went through the process and already have a surgery date. I may tell other people after I lose some weight but even then, I don't know if I want family and friends to know...

So I was wondering if there were other people who are planning to keep it hush or is everyone telling everyone?

[jalomum 1]

I think it is quite common to not share that piece of info. Some that have done so quite readily have regreted it :-(

I am just over 12 months out and have only told hubby, 2 kids, one acquaintance and a couple of members of staff at my local pharmacy and doctors surgery.

Now I have lost over 100lbs it is getting to be a pain when people say 'wow you've lost, you look great, how have you done it?' I can't stand not telling the truth and I can't be bothered to tell everyone the whole story.

I am starting to think I might put an announcement in the local paper and get it over and done with :-P

[JamesJr. 0]

I myself am supposed to hear this week if I am going to be approved for the surg. or not. But I have only told a few people I was considering. I have only told 2 siblings, my mother (who is having it done also), step father, and my boss at work just so she knows why I am going to need off so much. I dont want to tell anyone else, cause I dont want to be or tried anyway, to be talked out of this wonderful thing. Do what you want, but I know what Im doing lol

[jingleboob 5]

Am not openly telling people yet. I will once I've reached restriction and people start asking what I'm doing!

The family knows (mine and his). Other than the fam, 3 friends know and 3 co-workers including my boss. All are being supportive! We haven't told the kids yet (his girls- I'm having the surgery so we can have kids too!) They're 6 and 11 and I couldn't love them more, but as I don't want all of the neighbors to know my business and I don't want their mother to know (as she and my fiancee are still quite bitter with each other and she's a fan of nasty diggs at our expense- even to the kids which I think is wrong) we haven't told them at all. After surgery we'll tell them I had something fixed that's been bothering me, but I don't need their mom's negativity coming back to our house so I'm not telling them I had the band until it's been a success. We have them 50% of the time so it's not been easy keeping it from them! And I wouldn't ask them to keep things from their mom so we're just not telling them yet.

I'm on the radio, so when I decide to share with our listeners I will tell the girls first. I will share this with my listeners in hopes of helping some, but I want to have hit restriction for a stretch first. Get into my groove before the world knows... ya know?!

[tommygunn49 0]

tell your story, their are others out there who want to have the WLS and you mite be the one who change their lifes or save it. like me for an example one of my friend had gastric bypass bcos of her diabetes, she loss 100 lbs and her mom to diabetes. I also have diabetes when i went to my heart appt i found out that i had 60% blockage. in my heart, she save my life.

[jojo64 0]

Well I am also suppose to hear sometime this week if I am approved for the surgery. I have only told 3 people and that is it. My sister in law decided to tell the neighbors and they confronted me. I heard it all do you know what you are doing, this could kill you. Stop do you think I am that stupid that I do not know what I am doing. That my doctor also recommended this. So just from that reaction I am not saying a word to anyone. My boss I am telling him that I am having knee surgery. He does not have to know, all he has to know is that I might be taking off. Ok so once the paperwork is filed with HR they can't say anything. NONE OF ANYONE'S BUSINESS BUT MINE :thumbup:

[paulab 0]

I wasn't going to tell many people at all but found that as my surgery date grew closer, I was soooo excited that I couldn't help but tell people! However, I was very choosy about who I told.......

[JennaJ221 2]

Well from my experience. I was so excited when I decided to do this. I told my best friends and my parents, are the ones who actually suggested it to me and helped me, at first then when I got my date I was even more excited. And had no hesitation telling my aunts and other friends and some of my co workers. I was proud bc I was taking the right steps in my life. I've been overweight since I was 10yrs old.so it was nothing to me..didn't even consider that maybe it should be private. I didn't expect any kind of judgment from others. And then when I told my boss..we were good friends awhile ago..not so close anymore bc she was always kinda snarky. Well she's very immature and plays devils advocate every chance she gets..but she basically frowned upon it and told me I was going to die on the table. She was acting like it was a joke..but I took it seriously obviously..some joke huh? Anyways she's the only person who's ever judged me. Everyone at work (not everyone knos) complimentsd me they can all see a difference..but SHE refuses to say a word. She refuses to give any compliments or act like she notices. Its quite rude and childish but I don't expect any more from her. So yea..I kinda wish now I kept it only between close friends and family. Its been 3 yrs and just a few weeks ago she was talking about it to someone else bc a coworker was considering it and she was discouraging the coworker,which sees my results, and then she told the co worker I was a cheater. I simply pulled my coworker aside later and gave her the proper info and explained if getting banded was cheating that I"d be skinny by now..its just a tool and it takes time,effort, and aloooooot of work and dedication..far from cheating. She told me if she decides to get it she won't be telling anuyone..only me bc we'd be band buddies lol. So yea..I kinda wish I could go back and be more careful on who I tell. I've def experienced some discrimination..even from weight watchers. But I love and am proud of my band, and that's all that matters! Good luck!

[honk 780]

First JennaJ I work in HR and your boss is creating a classic example of Hostile Work Environment. I would document quotes of what she says to you and others and bring them to HR. Her behavior is not acceptable. If she hassles your other coworker about having surgery have her go to HR as well. Bullies will continue to do what they want until someone stops them. Period.

Okay, off my soap box. Last year I was layed off and now work from home so I don't really have co workers/boss that I see every day. I told my boss two weeks ago that I would need to take a week off for a medical procedure and will remind him today. I'm a consultant so no work/no pay so nothing really for him to gripe about.

I've told my mother (who will come to stay with me after surgery), two sisters (one's boyfriend, and the other's husband), two adult nephews, niece (who luckily got her paternal grandmother's genes tall and skinny). My brother is out of town on business and has been for 3 months. I will tell him eventurally.

My friends from my previous employer I just wanted to wait until ther surgery was done (I had to postpone in March). In general I think they will be very supportive. Last time we had lunch they all commeted on how I had lost weight (about 20 pounds) since I had last seen them.

Two people who I will not be telling: a former coworker who at Size 2 constantly complains about her weight; and my former boss who would walk around the room and insult and embarass you about what you had or lunch. One time she went off on me because I put too much ice tea mix in my drink "You're going to be a diabetic" It was suger free mix; which another coworker pointed out to her.

[JennaJ221 2]

First JennaJ I work in HR and your boss is creating a classic example of Hostile Work Environment. I would document quotes of what she says to you and others and bring them to HR. Her behavior is not acceptable. If she hassles your other coworker about having surgery have her go to HR as well. Bullies will continue to do what they want until someone stops them. Period.

Thanks honk. Believe me I have everything documented. She's a frenemy. We were friends a long time ago and she still feels she can act that way to me. But I do have everything logged. This company is ass backwards so prob wouldn't do any good..but I'm still on it. And u wana kno the kicker here..she's the personnel hour manager. Nice huh. I have a hr background too so I totally get it. She just keeps giving me amo lol. She hates that we're not friends anymore..but this sint the way to go about it ya kno

[spoiltmom 44]

Well I told 2 friends, my ds, dh, my mom and my MIL. My ds told me today that MIL has now told my SIL and my mom has now told my grandma so everyone knows by now I'm sure:(

[michellabelle 0]

Hello,

I can totally understand you not telling people. I feel the same way. People are so judgemental that it is just easier to not have to deal with that. It's time to focus on yourself now. Good Luck.:thumbup:

[nallygirl 4]

Hi danide! For me the only person who knows that I am starting this process is my mom...I had to tell someone for support! Since I have a 6 month medically supervised diet I have to go through for insurance I don't want to tell everyone now then find out 6 months from now that I can't get the surgery for whatever reason. My plan is to wait until I have everything in order and a confirmed surgery date before I tell anyone else. Even then I only plan on telling my closest friends. I'm sure eventually people will ask and I will have no problem telling them about it. You should be proud that you are taking a step to better your health. The people who love you will support you! Good luck!!

[MRSKOUBiK 27]

I am not opening up and telling just EVERYONE.

I have pretty much told all the people I want to know. The same people who I will look to for support when I need it.

For me, It was necessary to open up and talk about it. I'm not so good at holding my feelings in with important things!

[Catherine55 43]

Hi, Danielle! I told my closest friends and most of my family, but didn't tell everyone. Basically, I did not tell anyone at work and did not tell my brother because I didn't want my sister-in-law to know, since I knew she might say things about it that I found hurtful and not helpful.

Not telling people at work was a very positive thing for me. It has cut down on the amount of "food police" behavior I've been on the receiving end of, and also has helped me to keep some boundaries between this part of my personal life and my personal life. I really did not want everyone talking to me about my weight, commenting to me about what I eat, or otherwise opening up my weight as a topic for everyone to discuss with me.

Also, you lose slowly and steadily with the band -- and you don't start losing until after you get to restriction. So, by not telling people, I didn't have outside people stressing me out by saying things like "Why aren't you losing faster?" and stuff like that.

You really have to decide what will create the most supportive situation for you. It's different for everyone.

Best wishes for your success,

Catherine