Terrified!!!!

[gingerjane 5]

Hey Jamie - I thought I would also chime in here because I find that the band, just like with anything else, needs to be approached with a totally positive attitude. It's like when someone is pregnant and they get all of these horror stories. Yea - labor hurts, but in the end it's worth it. I feel that way about my band. Here are my thoughts.

1. loose skin--how much worse is that that fat, stretched out skin?

I had fat, stretched-out skin but would rather have the loose skin. I bought some firming lotion (not saying it's going to work miracles but it might help) and I know that lifting weights helps tighten that back up, too.

2. my abusive relationship with food. it has been a long road but the things that I have to give up are not really good for me anyway. I have done a lot of planning for this part. I am as ready as I can be for this.

Girl - food and I are BFF. Especially baked goods. But, what is funny is that for some reason, I don't CRAVE these things like I used to. It's odd but on occasion I'll have something but it's not an every day must-have. I never EVER thought I would say that, but it's true. I also like to refer to what I call "transferring addictions". Whenever I would get upset before, I would turn to food. Now, I go window shopping. Looking at cute outfits that I might one day fit into stops the food abuse and knocks my butt back into gear. :w00t:

3. More wrinkles, I assume some are hiding under here;-).

We all have them. Wear them with pride. You don't want to look like Joan Rivers, right?

4. The pain of surgery and recovery.

Honestly - I did not think it was that bad. I had surgery on Monday and was back at work on Thursday. (I have an office job) Truthfully, I think the worst part is the air that they pump into your stomach but after about a week, it was all gone. It really was not as bad as I was expecting.

Here are some things that I don't know if I can deal with:

1. hair loss- I have already lost so much hair from Metformin (anti-diabetic drug). I know this sounds vain but I just cannot go bald here!

Ok - I'm with you here. I have/had thicker hair than most, but I KNOW I'm thinning right now and sort of freaked out about it. But, I upped my Protein, cut my hair (regular cuts help hair health) and added Biotin to my Vitamins I take and it's getting better. Not going to lie - I did freak. It does happen, much like what it does right after you give birth. They say it tapers off.

2. The gas!!! I am extremely conservative about this issue. I cannot be walking around passing gas all the time for the rest of my life or even the next year. I just starting going back to school and I am horrified enough being the fat, old girl in class with a bunch of 20 year olds! I cannot be the fat, old girl who passes gas in class!!! I just cannot.

This is another thing that I think has gotten WAY better for me. I don't have gas NEARLY as much as I used to. I used to always feel bloated, but now - it's a rare occurrence. Besides, that's what Gas-X is for.

3. The obsession that seems to come with surgery. I don't want to weigh myself everyday and worry that I am able to eat and not losing enough weight. I just don't want this to define me. I realize it will from now until a while after surgery but I just don't want to obsess about it all the time.

I weigh myself daily but it's because when I don't weigh myself, I don't pay attention to what I'm eating or doing, etc. I went on vacation and didn't weigh myself and couldn't wait to get back home and do it. I think it can be bad either way. You can weigh so much that you think "Well, I'm down x lbs so I can have ice cream" or you can become obsessive. It's a catch 22. I wouldn't let that deter you.

I know this can be different for everyone but I am seriously considering cancelling the surgery because why don't I just eat less and exercise to lose weight. Yeah, I know, I have been doing that for 10 years without success and I have 3 small children who need a healthy, active mommy that will be around as long as she can be. I am just FREAKING OUT!!

CAN SOMEONE TALK ME OFF THE LEDGE??? I have a support system but not one that understands fully what I am going through.

I really hope you do go through with the surgery. I have people ask me all the time how I'm doing, do I regret it, etc. I tell them it's the best thing I've ever done for myself with the exception of marrying my husband and having my kids. I don't regret it ONE bit.

I hope that helps and you have a lot of people here who will help you through this.

Ginger