Thin girl in the mirror... Fat girl in my head!

[Rescue3Chick 0]

Hi, this is my first time here. I have a question for all of you "banded" people out there....

I had surgery in late October of 2008 (about a year and a half ago). I have lost about 80lbs. Amazing, i wouldn't trade my decision for anything in the world.

HOWEVER!! I am told that i look amazing! And i do see it, and i am very happy with my progress so far, but the person i see in the mirror and the person that i see in my head are two VERY different people. In my head i see this heavy self conscious girl.

Is anyone else having trouble trying to put mirror over mind?! :thumbup::party::smile2:

Edited August 8, 2010 by Rescue3Chick

[Humming Bird 275]

I am still waiting for my brain to catch up too. I go to the closet and pick out something I think will fit. When I put it on it is way too large. I'll hold up a shirt and think, "that will be way to tight, but I'll try it on to see how much more I have to lose before I can wear it." Then I put it on and it just hangs so large.

[Mimilou2004 13]

To work on this problem I have been spending a lot more time in front of the mirror and any mirror I pass. I also take as many snapshots as I can and really look at them. This is going to sound a little strange, but I deliberately run my hands over my skin while I am looking in the mirror so that I see and feel the changes at the same time. Peoplel keep telling me I am tiny but my head isn't there yet so I really understand where you are coming from. I think it is part of the whole journey.

Best wishes,

Mimi

[Kilrust 0]

Hi Mimilou,

I noticed that you are below you target weight so is that through you loosing more then you thought you would or are you actually now underweight ??

Ruth

[Mimilou2004 13]

Hi, Ruth...I set my target wt arbitrarily. I didn't know what I could accomplish until I got down to 120 and liked it. For my height I am on the high end of OK, I am barely 5 ft tall. I am in maintenance which is a whole new dance program for me. I have spent most of my life yo-yoing up and down.

Good luck,

Mimi

[zeniada 9]

I am in maintenance which is a whole new dance program for me. I have spent most of my life yo-yoing up and down.

Good luck,

Mimi

Is maintenance different?? do you have to do things differnly???

[Mimilou2004 13]

Well, for me maintenance is not gaining or losing except within a narrow range of 3 pounds. Adjusting my exercise and calories to accomplish this is hard for me, not necessarily for everyone. Every time I would lose weight, before banding, and get to whatever goal I had in mind, I would fall back into old patterns and re-gain. Mantenance for me is not letting this happen while trying not to let the focus of my life be about my weight.

I hope I answered your question.

Mimi

[zeniada 9]

cool here i thought you would have to get unfilled or something like that....

[Mimilou2004 13]

Some ppl do get a small unfill if they keep losing past what they want to weigh. The great thing about the band is its adjustability!!!!

Mimi

[tinksmom 0]

That fat girl in my head got me to my largest size...I just kept gaining until I looked just like her. I always thought like a size 20...even as a size 9 in my teens. I've only lost 45 pounds (if anyone else said "only" I'd tell them to think again) and really see no difference although family and friends see a lot and I'm almost ready to toss a bunch of fat clothes. I hope time and a lot of self-talk will help.

[Rescue3Chick 0]

I am so glad to know that i am not the only one battling this wierd thing goin on!!

I am so messed up in my head by this it scares me! I see the girl in the mirror and love what i see but when i walk away from the mirror i forget. I am really torn up by this.

This is the deal.... Sorry to blab but noone really understands what is going on in my head... hoping someone banded will....

My boyfriend is thinner then i am, and about an inch shorter. We have been together for over a year and recently (3ish months ago) moved in together.

I have not met his close friends that he grew up with because he rarely sees them. They don't even know that he has a girl friend. (This is partially my fault) He is going to one of their weddings within a few weeks... i don't even know when it is to be honest... and i told him i wasn't going... first off bc i don't think that is the right place to meet them and second... i still see myself as the fat girl and i after being teased about my weight for a LONG time i am terrified to overhear someone say that "he is dating the fat girl"... my friends have told me i have to go to the wedding, but it is too late to go now. He already told them that he was going solo.

Why do i feel like this?!?!

[a dairyfarmers chubbywife 1]

I think this is common. Before the surgery I had an image in my head that I was thinner than I really was...until someone posted a picture of me on FB. Whoa...what a rude awakening. My eyes were instantly opened and I saw me as everyone else saw me. Now, since my surgery, I have lost 90 pounds, and I still see the fluffier me. My mental self image is totally messed up. This past weekend at our county fair my husband and I were just enjoying the shade and people watching (a secret enjoyment of mine...shhh! ) and I had him point out other women who had a body shape like mine so I could get a better grasp on what I looked like. Might sound crazy, but it works for me.

~Annette~

[Sooz 0]

that's funny chubbywife, I asked my daughter the same thing recently. "is that woman what I look like from behind?"

Last night I posted about ending up with dentures after smashing my face due to a badly timed fainting spell. That was over 20 years ago and I am still surprised by my "new nose" in photos. My head "me" still has my old nose on file!

[rael 0]

Hi, have a Psychology Degree...and I've just decided to take the plunge into the Lap-band, myself. Seems like you girls have the right mind set and fabulous ideas to keep yourselves real. Thin girl/fat girl, don't fret, things will improve as time goes by ,listen to what these girls suggest and take one day at a time. Another suggestion, if I may, is to look at your before and after photos, if you have them, and keep doing that when the doubts set in. I wish you all the best of luck and I also wish myself best of luck on the start of my journey. Be kind to yourselves.:thumbup:

Rael.

[kll724 3,055]

I am, also, in this category. I see a fat girl, too. I am in a strong size 10. But, I still don't feel like I am the same size as other woman I see. I am still "fatter than". I have a picture on Facebook to remind me, but when I see myself in the mirror, I see the fat me. Karen (kll724)