wish it made sense at the time

[comtemplating 0]

Thanksgiving last year I started having a lot of trouble with "stuck" episodes. I chalked it up to getting closer to restriction. So I had fill, unfill, fill, unfill from November until May. Months of vomiting. But I kept on trying to reach perfection restriction- all the while I was textbook looking only for slider foods- drinking tons of calories. The weightloss had stopped but each month through May the dr. would say, "you are doing so well" because she was looking at the weightloss I achieved from April to November (50 plus pounds). So my average was on target but the weightloss had stopped. 50 lbs is 50% of what I need to lose and the "expected" percentage that comes with the surgery. In May I took a vacation to Maui and had the worse time ever- could barely eat and started vomiting black acid. In hindsight- I was probably too tight and in the red zone since November but I wanted to keep losing weight. I can't believe that I have wasted all this time not losing- 10 months!!!! So here I sit completely unfilled waiting one more week before I go back for a barium test to make sure everything is all right. I don't know if I have the courage to get another fill because I don't trust my judgement when it comes to needing a fill. This "tool" isn't easy.

[comtemplating 0]

Forgot to mention that at each dr's visit I would be asked if I could still eat bread- I always could so because of that I always figured I needed a fill until I could no longer eat bread. It is quite evident that one can have too much restriction and have negative side effects- even if they can still eat bread. Don't use this as a single gauge of whether or not to get a fill.

[Libbyjane1976 1]

Hey don't beat yourself up over there. Just go back to basics. I am at my spot and I can still eat bread. I just don't eat it too often because Protein is on my priority list and bread doesn't have any and since I can only eat so much it's at the bottom of my list. Just take your fills slow you will get to your sweet spot eventually. good luck with everything.