Suicidal thoughts with obesity?

[the best me 6]

I felt like I had a huge sign on my chest that everyone could see,

I felt like I had a huge sign on my chest that siad "This person is a loser. This person is out of control, has no self-control, isn't any good at much, despite her potential, needs help, needs encouragement, you should question this person's perspective and validity, she certainly does, and all her faults are showing on the OUTSIDE, even though the rest of the normal-sized world has the SAME faults, but hidden." My FAT was my sign.

I was miserable, unhappy, couldn't get past it all. It's slowly getting better. As the weight comes off I feel like me.

It got so bad I had WLS. I honestly never considered suicide, just went back to eating tons when it got unbearable. Even the eating wasn't suicidal FOR ME, it was just coping. I can see how the eating would be an intentional slow death though.

[princess_n_thep 2]

Lisa,

The only bullet your gonna get is the one I unload into your refrigerator to make it stop working. That will be my promise to you. :eek:

[j_war06 0]

As an obese teen with serious co-morbid conditions I would be lying if I said no. I began seeing a therapist about a year ago because I was a cutter, but I not only cut myself, I would get mad a take pills like crazy hoping to not wake-up, but in reality I just wanted peace in my mind, I didnt really want to be dead, just consciously thought so. I dont know how on earth I am alive to be typing this because of so many attempts to simply go to sleep. I thought I would teach all them a lesson, but in reality I would never reap the benefits. I always thought life would be 100% better if I was thinner, but I have seen a lot of my "skinny" acquaintances (cant really call them friends) go through a lot of stuff that I couldnt imagine living through. Just sometimes I wanted to be known as that hot girl or that super fine chick, but no I was either just the fat girl or the fat girl with a really pretty face. I still pick through ppls words to try to find compliments, although its hard. I had some real issues this summer when my bf ran off on me (all though I ended the relationship) and then continued to betray me as a friend. And honestly I havent been myself through the holiday season seeing all these happy ppl in their wonderful world, while I know I will be working on my world for atleast a year to look how I wanna look. Im glad someone started this post, no one knows that I ever tried to do more than cut myself, but I did, and I know its not the answer now that I have gained more self-confidence. But, life is lonely when your a fat teenage girl. An obese teen has emotional issues but atleast a guy can maybe play off of personality or play sports to have friends, but us "fat chicks" really have it rough.

[jqpublic 1]

Dear JODIE, I feel your pain and im sorry that are felling the way you do!

it's funny in a way how one person's mind work's Destructive behavior hostility, turned inward, at the time it may seem right(ONE"S OWN THOUGHT"S) but harming one's self is not the answer!!!!!

You may be very large, and just hate your self..........Thats fine but that dos'ent mean your going to be heavy your whole life.......weight loss take's time unless you have lot's of money for personal trainers special diet's and some one to stand behind you and push you twenty four seven.

you will get there but it take's time. you did not gain all your weight over night, so you won't lose it over night!

use some of that pent up energy and start walking as much as you can to help weight loss and keeping your mind clear! I was very fat! now slim but it took me a year, hang in there if you ever want to talk drop me a line.

Most of all young lady there are a lot of family and friend's out there who care about you, even if you feel alone........Most of all God bless take care.JOHNQ:cool:

[j_war06 0]

Im no longer suicidal, as a matter of fact Im a demonstrated spokesperson for the AOA and do talks at colleges and highschool and different functions about healthy lifestyles and weight

[alatina 1]

yes-seriously contemplated but I realize now it was also due to a severe hormonal imbalance but being fat drives me nuts-its unbearable some days.

[FuelMan 2]

Ya know, this thread has been going on for awhile, and I do see & hear myself in most of you. I know eating compulsively is a way to deal with life, and it seems a comfort. It makes me feel loved, or that I am loving myself. Then there is the outcome, the FAT. Now everyone knows I have big problems (no pun intended). OK, now I am dealing with it, it being the fat and the reasons for complusive overeating. I am dealing with the fact that I am a good person, and I am a wonderful friend, father, husband, worker, human. You see there was a time I did not feel like that, I thought I was not worth the air God gave me to breath. As I thought of killing myself on a daily bases, I know now it was God who wanted me around for some reason. I am just figureing out now. I needed to hurt the part of myself that was no good, or faulty. I need that part of me dead. I know it sounds strange, but the crazy thing is I believed if I killed off part of me, the real part or the good part would keep on living. WELL...... now I know better, I have to deal with my shortcomings, and with the help of God, I am dealing with them. I feel like a worth while person, and a part of my own life. The thing that really piss's me off is this........ They add stuff to the food to make us eat more and comsume more food. Then when we get FAT. Now, they have this "NO FAT RULE" in affect, and the rest of the world makes fun of you, and you are the butt of every joke and no one sees you as worth while. It's a crappy rule this "No fat rule" but, Madison Ave. can't make money, and the diet company's, and the exercise company's, and all the weight loss business's would go down in smoke. Weight Loss, is a 9 billion dollar a year business, and they can't lose that money now!!! They will do whatever it takes to keep it going. So we must become enlighten fat people and fight this "No Fat Rule", and fight the big business GREED. Sorry for the rant.Butch

[gentlespirit 1]

I have thought about it somewhat seriously and I know my weight affected that thought process, but it wasn't the only factor. I agree with Kare that suicide is always an option. I feel very strongly that it is our right to choose when we are done with this life. If I had some horrible degenerative disease that was killing my by inches, I would make certain that I had the means to end my life at the time I felt it was appropriate.

My youngest son, who at 25 has had Type I diabetes for 9 years, has decided that when that disease makes his life more of a burden than a joy, he is going to end his life. This is a logical, well thought out decision not made in a moment of emotional distress or anything, and I have come to the conclusion that if I love him, I have to respect and support his decision. I think our society does such a terrible job of dealing with end of life issues and right to choose. They make suicide illegal (ha) which only means that someone like my son would have to end his life alone for fear of causing legal difficulties for those of us who would like to be there if/when he goes. If he ever has to do that, it should be able to be done with his family around him as an act of love. I am a Christian, and like Kare, the God that I worship would welcome with open arms someone who had made that difficult decision.

Anyway, enough of my ranting...it just really bothers me that our government/society tries to regulate this most personal of decisions.

Emily

[FuelMan 2]

I totally agree with the "Gentlespirit". When we have had enough of life by cause of a incurable disease, it is time to go. Not all of us can do this, but...... the ones that choose to take the final exit, should be able to go with friends and loved one's around. My best friend in the world had to go out alone. He had AIDS and it came to a point where living was tuffer then fighting the disease. He fought it as hard as he could for years, and finely after a year in bed with all kinds of illnesses due to the AIDS, He took the last step. That was back in 86' when there was not much you could do about AIDS but wait. Even after all these years I am still heart broken over this. He had no one to support him as he slipped away, no one to hold his hand, and make him feel a little comfortable. He was so afraid we would get into trouble over this. I blame society for this. We are so ill prepared for the end. In my 25 years clean from drugs and alcohol, I have dealt with a lot of death. Burying many friends, due to AIDS or overdose. And I see just how unprepared we are. My mother-in-law is dyeing because of her lungs, and she is scared senseless, I try and comfortable her but there is no dealing with her. When she finally goes she will be out of her mind with fear. Shame on the medical industry, they hype us up thinking we can live forever, with enough drugs. And they charge by the day, pumping more and more drugs, and more test at the cost of our......... what? Money? Insurance? Peace of Mind? Sorry about the rant but I am so upset at how the "West" deals with death. We are all going to die, we might as well get use to it from the beginning, dealing with it in a spiritually manner. I guess this has nothing to do with WLS, or losing weight, but...... I still say "If you are sick enough to eat yourself into Morbid Obesity, you are digging your own grave a forkful at a time".Butch

[gentlespirit 1]

FuelMan~

I guess it really doesn't have that much to do with weight issues, but it's one of my pet issues. I was a hospice volunteer, and that's a step in the right direction, but still...deciding to end your life is a lonely decision and family/friends/loved ones should be able to be there at the end to provide warmth and love without fear of prosecution. It really angers me...

Emily

["with the band" 1]

hundreds of times - being overweight has made me want to give up on this trip.

I understand the feeling too well.

[princess_n_thep 2]

Bumping for newer members to participate. Thanks

[Morsaille 4]

I can honestly say that I never considered suicide an option for me, BUT in the months and years leading up to WLS my attachment to life has significantly lessened and I questioned my value as opposed to my life insurance policy.

Let's see...

Mom on the couch doing her best Jabba imitation... or...

a full scholarship at the college of your choice?

WLS is my way of saying to myself that I refuse to invite the diseases that will bring about my early death. I love my family too much (and myself as well for that matter).

[NeenBand 7]

No, but I did have no "life force" if that makes any sense. No motivation, no zest for life.

I just got up and went through my day.

[PhotoNut 7]

Hmm.. Leener, that makes perfect sense to me. For the last couple of years, I continued to devalue my life to the point of not having one. I spent all of 2005 not living. Oh I ate - LOTS - and I was breathing, but I wasn't living. I'm so grateful for the miracles that took place which brought me to this point. I'm finally living again, and I really believe it is because I have HOPE again. Without HOPE, there is no real living is there?

But, even at my lowest point, I never considered suicide. To me, that is the most selfish thing a person can do. Leave everyone who loves you behind with all of the pain and life long heartache over the loss. I've known many family members who end up killing themselves after one of them does. They get it in their heads that they are crazy - must run in the family kind of a thing. Taking your own life to end your misery is not the end of the story. All those people you love, and possibly thought you were helping them be "better off without you" will take on all of your misery, heaped on top of all that normal life has given them to deal with. Nope, I'm sorry if this offends anyone. I know it's a tender subject and some of you may have lost loved ones to suicide. If so, I'm truly sorry for your loss. But those of us who are still alive, with a chance for tomorrow, with people who love us.. shame on any of us who would take that chicken shit way out and leave people behind to deal with the torment.