Pressure from Others

[KimmyTx 0]

Does anybody else feel pressure to lose constantly and continuously by those who know you've been banded? People are constantly looking at me and asking for weight loss updates and I feel guilty when I can't announce some phenomenal number.

[Cocoabean 430]

I think people expect the weight will melt off after banding. We know better. :smile2:

I'd say things like, I am losing about a pound or two a week. Or that I haven't weighed in recently, because I only use my surgeon's scale. I'm not obsessing with the number of pounds, it's about healthy habits. Or, WHAT DO YOU WEIGH? Have you lost some hair? Have you put on a few pounds? Ha!

Also, take your measurements, they often change when pounds don't. So, if you prefer to have a positive answer at the ready you can say, "not much change in pounds recently, but I've lost 'x' inches, things are changing in a good way!"

I'd also say my blood pressure is down, or my cholesterol is normal, or I've dropped another size.

There are so many other things we "gain" from this surgery besides pounds lost.

Unfortunately, when it comes to weight loss, people can be very invasive with their questions. They'd not ask how much we had gained, but don't hesitate with the other direction.

[vlp1968 83]

I like the idea of saying you don't know how much you lost because you are not weighing yourself. Listing nsv's (nonscale victories) is a great idea too.

[sandman27959 38]

Hi Kimmy,

Long time lurker - first post. Woo-hoo! I'm 3 months post-op and get a lot of the same questions from my friends and family. I think Cocoabean has it right by focusing on something positive when you don't have something special to share. The thing I try to remember is that most of the time the people who ask are coming from a caring place and are genuinely interested, so I don't think of it as pressure. Keep on keepin' on.

D.

[SVM10 6]

Kimmy, you have done an awesome job having lost 40 lbs. in less than 2 months. That is a major accomplishment. Just keep up the good work for yourself and not others.They are probably excited for you and don't know what else to ask. I have a cousin that looks at my feet every time she sees me (weekly at church) and asks have I lost a shoe size yet so she can have my shoes. Talk about pressure, LOL.

[KimmyTx 0]

Thank you, Sonja. Actually, on the flip side, it can be motivating too because it's nice when people can see a difference and/or you have good news to report. It's just that, as someone said earlier, the general public has this perception that the weight is just going to fall off and very quickly. At this point, every pound that comes off is the result of a lot of sweat plus good food choices.

[muddieguryl 0]

All I am going to say is it isn't up to them what a phenomenal number is, it is up to you. And 40 pounds is a phenomenal number to me! Think of 40 pounds of ground beef, or 160 sticks of butter, or 3-4 clothes sizes........Don't let them tell you what significant is. Your goals are your goals.......

Sending hugs and courage!

Muddie

[trace10 0]

This is exactly the reason I have only told one person. I don't want to have to answer any questions or feel guilty if I'm not living up to their expectations, or should I say the expectations that I presume they will have. I figure if they notice, and actually a few people have noticed a little because I am down about 30 from my heaviest, I just say, I don't know, maybe a few pounds. I'm not really sure though. Even as people start to find out, and I am sure they will, because I have learned long ago even telling one person is one too many...I won't give numbers. Those are for me...and of course all of you for the encouragement you provide me, and hopefully in return my numbers will inspire someone else! Someday that is...oh, come on someday.... :smile2:

[ICUnurserachel 17]

I get tired of people asking me "How much more weight have you lost?". So my answer is that I don't know because I only weigh myself every 2 weeks, which is true. I am sure most people just are curious but it gets tiresome to keep answering that. I always have to tell them the lapband is not like bypass. It is gradual 1-2lbs a week.

[onenuttynurse 0]

My answer is "i don't own a scale, and only weigh every 2 months"..by then they forget and focus on something else.......

[SHRINKINMOM2010 0]

I told exactly two people I had the surgey, and that was one too many. That and the money issue was the reason. I don't want to have to answer or explain to anyone.

[conservachick 0]

I'm with SHRINKINMOM - I only told my immediate family and 3 friends.... everyone else sees me losing weight and I just tell them I'm on a low calorie eating schedule... which is true! One day, if I want to tell, I will.. but we don't OWE them this....

Mega hugs... and great luck to you!

[Danyett 0]

yes but don't worry people get bored or lose intrest with your weight loss after awhile, for about 5 months I was asked by someone everyday about my weight, it has been a few weeks now from the last time I was asked

[Taterbugsmom 0]

Oh Kimmy, I SOOOOO feel your pain! I made the mistake of pretty much telling everyone. It wasn't an issue to me at the time but I am so regretting telling anyone except my hubby! I am only 11 days since surgery and I get asked at least once a day how much have I lost. Seriously? I actually have not lost a thing since surgery! Lost 30 lbs during the 2 week pre-op and have just bounced back and forth between a pound everyday since. It's really beginning to frustrate me!! :scared2: