How much support is your spouse giving you?

[spoiltmom 44]

A few years ago I lost 50 pounds on Weight Watchers. My dh was very, very supportive of me once I started losing the weight. When I first started Weight Watchers though he was just indifferent I guess you could say. He sort of felt like this was just another diet and it wouldn't work either.

Now, I told him a couple of months ago that I was considering Lap Band. He said if that's what I wanted to do he was behind me 100%. He also said he didn't care if I did it or not b/c he loves me just the way I am. That said, I was so excited to get the phone call saying I was approved. I'm excited every day now and totally looking forward to getting banded and getting this weight off for good. The thing is though my dh is not excited. He's not trying to talk me out of it or anything he's just not excited or optimistic about it.

Do you think it's just b/c he thinks it won't work or what? I really wonder/worry what's going on in his mind.

We've been married almost 13 years. When we started dating I weighed 115. I'm now at 225:(

[this sucks 557]

My dh didn't get "behind" the idea of Lap-Band until we had the appt with the surgeon. I don't think he could support it until he understood it. Surgeon explained everything about the procedure and made my husband see how it would work and why it would work. Has your husband been involved in any of your appts yet?

After 25 years of marriage, my dh has seen my weight range over 100 lbs so he understands my struggle to lose weight and be healthier. He is supportive as much as he can be-he has never had a weight issue so it's hard for him to understand the struggle of being obese but he loves me and wants it all to be better! He was right there beside me before and after surgery and is trying to be helpful. I was banded on 7/13.

[Mel Mel 0]

Hubby met with the doctor and understands the procedure and what is required of me. Beyond that he doesn't think I needed to have the surgery and voices this opinion still. Meanwhile I've lost 35lbs, more than I ever did on anything else. He comments on how good I'm starting to look. I'm happy enough that he's behind me with the weight loss and at least understands how the band works.

[marykb 0]

My DH is very supportive. I had talked about doing this a couple of years ago, but just wasn't mentally ready for it. Seeing me struggle with my weight so much, he suggested looking into it again last year. When I decided to go forward, he read over all of the materials with me and helped me decide which kind of band to use. He is also the one who wanted to use part of his mom's estate to pay for it, when we had insurance issues.

He is still very supportive. When I eat something I shouldn't and start beating myself up about it (like the small piece of birthday cake I had last week), he is there to tell me it isn't the end of the world and not to give up.

I'm very fortunate to have someone who is so supportive. There are very few people in my family that are like that - so it means even more to me to have that support from him.

[muddieguryl 0]

I agree with poster above. While he will support you because it is what you want to do, surgery could be scary to him. It is drastic to have surgery to lose weight (not saying I don't believe in it). If he doesn't understand the procedure, he might be worried but not want to share it with you for fear of looking unsupportive. Remember in the late 90s there was a lot of news on the death rate of gastric bypasses (2.5%, and as high as 5%)....well, when I told my hubby that I was choosing this option, he responded the same way. He just thought all bariatric surgery was the same. Even with approval, he responded the same way. I couldn't get him to perk up. A friend of his had a sister who went though bariatric surgery and struggled to regain health. He choose not to educate himself and just had this horrible picture in his head that I was going to croak on the table. He even asked me for my life insurance information twice! I told him to stuff it, that the procedure was easier than a gall bladder removal and that knew because I work in the OR! He put on a strong face the day of surgery even though I could tell he was frightened. He perked up after surgery (when he saw that I didn't die) and has been supportive since.

best of luck! I love my choice!

[trace10 0]

Marykb...he sounds fabulous!!! I am sure you are both very lucky!! Congratulations on your success so far.

[Murpel 0]

My DH has be ever so supportive. From the seminar, to recovery and now after surgery....he has been there every step of the way.

3 months out, he is helpful when shopping... can you have this? do you need that? From Vitamins to protein... he's there.

He even tried to not eat junk in front of me.... LOL! That lasted about two weeks! he he he

He's been great! Couldn't have done it without him!

[jaymie 0]

My husband has been really supportive (plus he footed the 16000 for the surgery!). He would, however, sometimes present other points of view that I might not see alone. Some times he will be my "voice of reason" (and I'm his sometimes too) and tell me what I need to hear, not necessarily what I want to hear.

Perhaps your hubby is just trying to help you see the whole picture.

[vickyd 24]

My husband is extremely supportive in my decision to be banded. I attended my seminar today and he just called and said that he couldn't wait to hear all about it. Since I have chosen not to tell anyone else about the surgery, his support is so important!!

[sweetbean70 2]

When I first told my hubby that I was going to be banded, he was reluctant. His fear was that I would follow the same path as me ex-SIL (key word being EX). She went from 232lbs to 91lbs via gastric bypass about 8-9 years ago. After losing all the weight, she decided that she didn't love my brother anymore, was tired of being a mother, and walked out on her family to be with another man. She currently looks like a "crack ho." Due to not following the required dietary requirements associated w/ the GP, she has had to have all of her teeth pulled and wears dentures, her hair is so thin she looks almost bald, she looks like she has aged about 20 years, and worst of all, she is now having seizures. I told my hubby that I love him. I did NOT "settle" for him because I felt too fat to "get" anyone else. I told him that my main reason for being banded was for my health. I had just been diagnosed with insulin resistance (a precursor to Type 2 diabetes) and with my bad kidneys, I didn't want to end up like my mother (kidney transplant in 2004) or my grandmother (died of kidney failure in 2004). He certainly understood my concerns about the health issues and decided to research the LAP-BAND® procedure. After truly understanding what the procedure is about and feeling secure about my feelings for him, he became my biggest supporter. :scared2:

[SHRINKINMOM2010 0]

I'm one of the lucky ones. I've been with my sweetie 16 yrs. He loves me for me and supports me no matter what size I am. He never has said one negative word about my weight. He actually stays neutral about the issue, and supports me and my choice about it at what ever point n my life I'm in. I've a very lucky girl and wish every one had that kind of support.

[2beskinny 4]

My dh didn't get "behind" the idea of Lap-Band® until we had the appt with the surgeon. I don't think he could support it until he understood it. Surgeon explained everything about the procedure and made my husband see how it would work and why it would work. Has your husband been involved in any of your appts yet?

After 25 years of marriage, my dh has seen my weight range over 100 lbs so he understands my struggle to lose weight and be healthier. He is supportive as much as he can be-he has never had a weight issue so it's hard for him to understand the struggle of being obese but he loves me and wants it all to be better! He was right there beside me before and after surgery and is trying to be helpful. I was banded on 7/13.

Wow - I could have written that myself! I am also 46, have been married for 23 years and hubby has never had any issues with weight. He loves me very much, wanted to make sure I was have the surgery for me, not for him. He was great after surgery, too. Sometimes I just need to talk about it with him as he is one of the very few that know about my surgery. I will say it is nice to finally share my weight struggles with him and be open about it. I used to always avoid the subject like the plague and it usually ended in an argument (me being unreasonable with him when he would only try and help). It was kind of funny in the hospital on surgery day, doc asked me what my weight was on that morning in front of him and I said, "nurse wrote it down, you have to look it up...I never say my weight in front of my husband....ha! Doc thought that was funny! I really have never (to this day) told him how much I weigh - I will some day when I weigh less than him :scared2:

[Lady Lap Band 71]

My husband was the same way. Not trying to talk me out of it but willing to let me so what I wanted to do.

I find that my hubby just doesn't get the whole thing. He is not interested in weight loss surgery, in his mind its not an option. Stick it out he will come around. He'll probably never jump for joy over it but I'm sure he'll be supportive. My husband was like that mainly bc he was nervous about surgery in general I think.

[gigi0504 0]

I am the complete oposite of all you lucky people. My husband had an affair (and right during the time I found out I was expecting our first child I found out about it) about 4 years ago because he was no longer attracted to me. I was 110 when we first met and put on about 100lbs so I get it about my weight, but he gained about 60lbs himself. Well, after some counseling etc and trying to keep up with our almost 4year old, I decided to take care of myself and put myself first and looked into the surgery. My husband's response was to ask me who I was seeing on the side. GRRR!!! So, after telling him that two wrongs don't make a right and the answer is nobody, and that I am doing it for myself and for my daughter (which I am 100%)he reluctantly agreed to "let" me have the surgery.

I cook what I want to eat now and make good decisions at mealtimes and if he wants to eat it, great! If not, he gets to fix his own dinner. LOL He has lost about 30lbs so far since I had my surgery from diet alone.

One day we were eating dinner and I had my hair in a pony tail and he looked at me and actually said I was looking thinner. I just glared at him and said thanks, but inside I was happy.

My husbands reaction is all stemming from out marital issues. So, I hope that one day soon, he will completely support me. For now, I will put up with the occasional grumbling when I serve baked zuchini fries or spaghetti squash and all of my experiments. I ahve developed a wonderful love of cooking again too!

All in all, best decision I have made for myself in a loooong time.

Best of luck.

[All Alone 0]

Mine can't deal with anything. For the past month I've gotten the you're going to leave me aren't you...to please don't leeave me....to I am a bitch. One trip to the store tonight for stuff I didn't ask for, albeit some stuff I do want and need, and as soon as I had one thing come out of my mouth that wasn't good enough, it was the excuse to leave for the night and go drinking. They just don't even realize how easy it is to predict their reactions. If I wanted to, I could probably take bets on the actual minute something was going to happen around here, that's how repetitive the mood is. The "stresser" is just up from grabs. Now it happens to be that I've had surgery so while they want to help, in there head they are feeling overwhelmed, and in return, it comes out as hate and anger. Just don't care enough anymore to let it be what's on my mind tonight.