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Feeling Guilty and No One to Talk With



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I have only told my husband (who is so supportive) and one friend, who is going through the process with me. I will NOT tell my co-workers. It is none of their business. It is only my and my husband's business.

I know I can't keep weight off on my own. I need this tool, and I need to be accountable to someone besides myself. That is a private decision, and the world does not need to know my private decision.

I wish everyone who has written in response here the best.

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So tomorrow is your day? Best of luck to you!

My surgery was April 7 and it was not as bad as I thought it might be.

I had guilty feelings too for being "so selfish" in wanting something just for me - it cost too much, it was because I was weak and had no will power, it was a burdon on my family to have to go through it with me, I am a failure and don't deserve it - those were my feelings.

Well, guess what? It was not as hard as I thought, I am already spending less on medications, my medical problems have reduced and so have all the worries about my health, and my family is so happy I am losing weight and can do more with them and enjoy life more. My "selfishness" has paid off in many ways.

Banding is not a magic bullet that works by itself, but it is a wonderful tool. If you work it, it will be worth it, believe me.

I wish you all the best. Your journey is just starting. There will be many ups and downs, but the band helps and we are here for support.

Let us know how your surgery goes!

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Thanks everyone for letting me know I am not alone. Off to the hospital in 5 hours, so I am hoping for a little sleep. Can't wait to talk to you all afterwards....take care.

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Best of luck, T10! It will all be behind you before you know it! The physical pain is not that bad - you will do great! Stay positive!

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Thanks everyone for the support. My surgery couldn't have went any better!! Guilt feelings are gone. Now I just want to heal and work out and get back to some real foods...just smaller amounts than before. I am so looking forward to starting a new life. Right now drinking/eating only liquids still makes it feel like I haven't made it to the other side yet. But at least I can see around corner!! Feeling good ladies...feeling good!

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I am so happy for you! Let yourself heal and focus on that. Youw ill get to the end of the special diets and then time just seems to fly by.

Welcome to the banded world!

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    • LadyVeteran1

      Sleeve surgery is on April 14th.  I am counting the days!!  Can't wait!
      · 2 replies
      1. Brookie2shoes

        Me too girl!! Are you in the full liquid diet right now? It’s sooooo hard!

      2. LadyVeteran1

        Not yet. I was told I only have to do 24 hours of a liquid diet. But I have my pre-op tomorrow so I’m going to confirm if I need to do longer.

    • buildabetteranna

      Down 33 lbs and slightly stalled, but I'm gonna reevaluate and push through. I started back to work last week after 2 years of being disabled due to mental health as well as my weight. It's a great job and I'm just so happy to have this opportunity at a second chance at life. Hope everyone is having their best journey ❤️ Together, we got this!
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      1. DaisyChainOz

        Great work Anna! Keep it up 😁

      2. buildabetteranna

        Thank you ❤️

    • Bashbee91

      Hey guys new to the process looking forward to this new life. 
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    • Bugg

      Hi everyone! I’m brand new here. I just went through all my pre-op requirements per my insurance company and now everything has been submitted and I’m just waiting for final approval and my surgery date. I’ve been doing research, watching YouTube videos, TikTok’s, ect.. trying to prepare my mind and what to expect so I’ll be ready for the surgery. I was so sure and so set and so ready and excited. However, now that I’ve done everything & it’s almost here, I am sooooooo scared! I know why I want it bc I’ve tried everything and I just don’t feel like I can lose weight by myself. I’m tired of being overweight my entire life. I’m miserable, but I keep psyching myself out afraid of GERD bc I know how that can be and I don’t want to have to get a bypass after already gaining the courage to even get VSG. I’m scared of complications like I’mgoing to regret doing it and be depressed that I didn’t just be more disciplined and try again to lose the weight on my own even sitting here typing this knowing in my mind i just can’t and don’t possess the discipline. I’m also afraid I won’t be able to handle the restrictions of the sleeve. What do I eat? I don’t know how to eat healthy really and don’t enjoy healthy food. I don’t know how to do this! I feel so defeated!Someone tell me they felt anything similar to this or am I not ready? I thought I was. I am so tired of being sick and tired and so tired of myself and so tired of being stuck and stuck in this body and somebody different on the outside from what I feel inside. I just want to ball up and cry.
      · 1 reply
      1. stevieoriole

        Am feeling this right now. My surgery date is 4/1. Sign the consent tomorrow. I feel like I overloaded myself with too much info, too many opinions. Got to the point where I was wondering if I should do this. Then I thought of my reasons for taking this step and that settled my nerves. Still get moments of doubt but am striving forward. Am just going to follow my book from the surgeon. Joined this because I was told by my dietician that I should do this for support

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      over 20 lbs down since4 the pre surgery diet and surgery on the 14th
      · 1 reply
      1. Selina333

        Yay!! Congrats. I know how good that feels. 🤩

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