First Date ??

[NinaC 0]

I went on a first date with a guy I met a few weeks ago on Sunday night. He took me to a beautiful romantic restaurant overlooking the ocean. I ordered Ahi tuna and it came with two medium size pieces of tuna. I was only able to eat 3/4 of one piece. My date kept asking me if I liked it and why I wasn't eating more. I told him it was delish and I was just full. I was stuck. . .I didn't know what to say!! He now wants to cook me dinner on Friday! What do I say/do??

I've learned that the way to my heart now a days is not through my stomach!! I really like this guy and want to continue dating him. I have no problem telling people about my band, I'm just not ready to tell a new guy I'm dating!!

Help!!

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,282]

Well I've pretty much been married since I was 21 so I'm really no help. I just want to say that I think if you want to have a real relationship with someone you should just be open and honest. I seriously don't think telling him that would turn him off.

If it does turn him off, well - as the old saying goes, then he just isn't the one. Whether he accepts it or not, you ARE banded and he should know the real reason why you don't eat very much.

Just my opinion, I mean ultimately it's your decision and your life.

[vlp1968 83]

I can understand your hesitation to tell him. Maybe once you know each other better you will be comfortable discussing it. In the mean time I would stick to the "I am full" scenerio. It's not a lie, you are full. He just doesn't have to know why. I think you will know when the time is right to bring it up. Best wishes, hope things go well with your new man.

[dman3998 0]

If he has his crap together at all, he will be understanding and go out of his way to help and accommodate you. He should be impressed that you cared enough about yourself to do such a serious step to lose weight and get fit.

If he is not all of the above dump him he is not the one.

[onenuttynurse 0]

Okay...so what wrong with being honest. You said you really don't care who knows about your band. I think he would probably appreciate that you are taking a huge step to becoming healthy and would be more likey to accomodate your eating without wasting food. If he is turned of by it, then politely excuse yourself and leave..Oh don't forget to tell him "to piss off"......

Good luck.......We are women, hear us roar.....

[kellyodoran 12]

I went on a first date with a guy I met a few weeks ago on Sunday night. He took me to a beautiful romantic restaurant overlooking the ocean. I ordered Ahi tuna and it came with two medium size pieces of tuna. I was only able to eat 3/4 of one piece. My date kept asking me if I liked it and why I wasn't eating more. I told him it was delish and I was just full. I was stuck. . .I didn't know what to say!! He now wants to cook me dinner on Friday! What do I say/do??

I've learned that the way to my heart now a days is not through my stomach!! I really like this guy and want to continue dating him. I have no problem telling people about my band, I'm just not ready to tell a new guy I'm dating!!

Help!!

just tell him, if you trust your judgement of choosing someone to date, then there should be no problem in telling him about your band!

[honk 780]

Well, personally I think he should consider himself lucky that you were full on half your meal. Years ago in Ann Landers a guy wrote in asking if it had been inappropriate for his date to order TWO meals for herself (had one wraped to go). He was paying for dinner. His date apprarently thought it was okay for him to buy her dinner and lunch for tomorrow!

[NinaC 0]

Thanks for your help guys. I'm def going to tell him, I'm just not sure when. I think I want to get to know him a little better. Maybe date number five?? All my friends know about the band, I'm not shy about it, I'm just uncomfortable about telling someone I'm dating for some reason. I know he'll totally understand and he wouldn't care.

I'll let you know if I get the opportunity on Friday.

[Astrasmom 1]

Thanks for your help guys. I'm def going to tell him, I'm just not sure when. I think I want to get to know him a little better. Maybe date number five?? All my friends know about the band, I'm not shy about it, I'm just uncomfortable about telling someone I'm dating for some reason. I know he'll totally understand and he wouldn't care.

I'll let you know if I get the opportunity on Friday.

Just tell him that you are on a very strict diet that doesn't allow you to eat too much and you really don't want to screw it up because you have done very well so far. You love his food and you love that he takes you out, but you can only eat so much.

After you tell him (when the time is right) about the band, then he will understand. And like everyone else says, if he is Mr. Right and a wonderful guy, he will understand. If he doesn't, sorry then you need to find some else with positive renforcement.

Good luck to you. I wish you the best with your relationship and your weightloss.

[uscgal97 0]

Hey Nina - Like you, I'm a thirtysomething single gal who is trying to navigate dating with a band. I have to agree with you - I wouldn't tell him for a bit. You don't want to get into it in the first couple dates. This is the time to be fun and flirty and have butterflies in your stomach. So, I would hold it close to the vest for now - and in a few dates when you're both feeling more comfortable, you can share it with him. This will sound REALLY corny but, with one guy I went out with who I really liked, I told him that he was making me nervous and couldn't eat anymore. hahaha. You'll think of something. You can also just eat REALLY slowly and be deeply engaged in the conversation. Have fun.

[Froggie D 1]

I don't understand why it matters how much you eat. If you were just a normally a person with a very tiny appetite, would he not like you?

When you start eating, make some remarks about how good the food is and how you are savoring each bite. Eating a lot is not necessarily a complement to the cook. I used to eat a LOT and barely tasted it. I actually enjoy my smaller amounts now than I did the huge amounts before I was banded!

[SoccerMomma73 1,867]

I eat slowly enough and have enough foods that I am unable to eat that I think I would have to tell him before he cooked for me....I understand wanting to wait to tell, but I think I'd just throw it all out there, but then again, I'm very much single and have been for a long time now Good luck!

[got2bme566 0]

Well, I started seeing someone and am head over hills with him. He asked the same question about why i wasnt eating and i kept saying i was full. I didnt want to tell him right away because if he wasnt going to stick around it was none of his business....so after 6 weeks i finally told him and he has been super supportive of the whole thing.....go with what your gut says for you to do....trust that inside voice...we have it for a reason...and enjoy the ride!!!!

[Nutster_98 0]

Nina,

Think about it from his side.....poor guy is probably confused why you won't eat. Lol, some guys have plenty of problems reading women anyway. I think you ought to tell him, if he likes you it will not matter.

Michael

[NinaC 0]

PROBLEM SOLVED!! I saw him last night for a bit, we didn't have dinner but we hung out for a while. I took some of your advice and I went ahead and told him. I figured if he didn't like it then he wasn't the one for me!! He didn't care and thought it was a great thing for me to do to be healthy!! He said that he was only asking questions because he was so interested. He also mentioned that now he would "only have to buy one piece of salmon for Friday!!"

Thanks for all your help and support. It's really good to have a place to turn to with questions like this!