Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

how did you tell your family you were going to have the lap band?



Recommended Posts

I plan on telling my family tonight. I really do not want to but I am going to have to because my mom is the subscriber on my insurance. I don't mind my family know I just don't want them to tell other people. Anyways I was wondering how I should tell them? I am only 20 so they still think I'm required to listen to them. (I live on my own, work full time and go to school fulltime)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I plan on telling my family tonight. I really do not want to but I am going to have to because my mom is the subscriber on my insurance. I don't mind my family know I just don't want them to tell other people. Anyways I was wondering how I should tell them? I am only 20 so they still think I'm required to listen to them. (I live on my own, work full time and go to school fulltime)

I would simply say to them, "Although I really appreciate everything you do for me and I love you. I have made up my mind that I am getting the lapband procedure done. It's something that I need to do to live a healthy and productive life. I have tried all of the diets and they don't work for me. It would be great if I could have your support through this but if not I hope that somewhere down the line you can understand why I need to do this for me. Please do not try and change my mind because as I said this is something that I need to do for me in order to live longer."

By the way I admire you for getting it done at a young age. You have your entire life ahead of you. I wish you luck. And if you have already told your parents before this reaches you. Please let us know how it went.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You may be surprised at the support you get. For me, it was acually my mom who suggested I look into it. My whole family has been extremely supportive. Good luck! Let us know how it goes.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I just simply told them that I'd been looking into Lap-Band surgery and I have decided that's what I'm going to do... I just said it.

Of course some were a little concerned. It's normal for any surgery to be somewhat apprehensive. They also knew though that I'm going to do what I want anyway and they ultimately backe me 100%. I was very fortunate for this.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

thanks for all of the great advice, i really appreciate it!

i told my mom and she was really happy for me in the sense that she thinks i would greatly benefit from having the lap band. although I really appreciate her support, she will support me in anything i do because she feels guilty. (she hasn't been much of a mom to me, my father was killed in a car accident in october and she is already dating, knowing it hurts me) anyways i do not mean to sound mean when i talk about her but she would never tell me she doesn't agree with anything i want to do..

my aunt on the other hand...my dad's sister. her and i have always been very close and she has been more of a mom to me then my mother. she is very opinionated and i am really scared of what i should say or do if she does not approve of me doing this.

i am going to get the lap band (if i am approved by my ins.) regardless of what she says. i just know without her support it will be difficult.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

thanks for all of the great advice, i really appreciate it!

i told my mom and she was really happy for me in the sense that she thinks i would greatly benefit from having the LAP-BAND®. although I really appreciate her support, she will support me in anything i do because she feels guilty. (she hasn't been much of a mom to me, my father was killed in a car accident in october and she is already dating, knowing it hurts me) anyways i do not mean to sound mean when i talk about her but she would never tell me she doesn't agree with anything i want to do..

my aunt on the other hand...my dad's sister. her and i have always been very close and she has been more of a mom to me then my mother. she is very opinionated and i am really scared of what i should say or do if she does not approve of me doing this.

i am going to get the LAP-BAND® (if i am approved by my ins.) regardless of what she says. i just know without her support it will be difficult.

Glad to hear that you have some support and very sorry to hear about your dad.

As for your Aunt, I know it's easier when you have support but you have to remember that you are doing this for you, not for anyone else. Alot of times, as someone else stated, you might be suprised how much support you will get. I would also suggest a local support group if you have that available in your area, as well as here. It does help.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I called a family member and informed them that I had already had the procedure. She was very happy for me.

Now I have a lot more that I'm close to and want to tell them, but I'm not sure how. I wish there was a card I could send telling them what I've done.

It's been so secretive, that I didn't tell my mother until about a week before my scheduled date and she lives with me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I just told my spouse, daughters and 3 of my closest friends. I chose not to tell my parents, and Im losing slow enough that know one is wondering anything...Ive only lost 36 lbs in 7 months...of course, people are starting to noice but they've seen me walking alot.

Its a personal choice on who you tell..who you feel comfortable with telling. I asked all I've told not to tell anyone..

I guess I just didnt want people to watch or treat me differently.....

Good Luck...you'll be great..no matter how you decide to let your love ones know..

poppyred

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Bashbee91

      Hey guys new to the process looking forward to this new life. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Bugg

      Hi everyone! I’m brand new here. I just went through all my pre-op requirements per my insurance company and now everything has been submitted and I’m just waiting for final approval and my surgery date. I’ve been doing research, watching YouTube videos, TikTok’s, ect.. trying to prepare my mind and what to expect so I’ll be ready for the surgery. I was so sure and so set and so ready and excited. However, now that I’ve done everything & it’s almost here, I am sooooooo scared! I know why I want it bc I’ve tried everything and I just don’t feel like I can lose weight by myself. I’m tired of being overweight my entire life. I’m miserable, but I keep psyching myself out afraid of GERD bc I know how that can be and I don’t want to have to get a bypass after already gaining the courage to even get VSG. I’m scared of complications like I’mgoing to regret doing it and be depressed that I didn’t just be more disciplined and try again to lose the weight on my own even sitting here typing this knowing in my mind i just can’t and don’t possess the discipline. I’m also afraid I won’t be able to handle the restrictions of the sleeve. What do I eat? I don’t know how to eat healthy really and don’t enjoy healthy food. I don’t know how to do this! I feel so defeated!Someone tell me they felt anything similar to this or am I not ready? I thought I was. I am so tired of being sick and tired and so tired of myself and so tired of being stuck and stuck in this body and somebody different on the outside from what I feel inside. I just want to ball up and cry.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • buildabetteranna

      over 20 lbs down since4 the pre surgery diet and surgery on the 14th
      · 1 reply
      1. Selina333

        Yay!! Congrats. I know how good that feels. 🤩

    • Jenopolis

      Had a sleeve in 2017, lost over 100 pounds. Had a DS surgery this year (2025) for more sustainable weight loss. 🤞
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • buildabetteranna

      The 14th was my day. I am home and recovery is going pretty smooth. They even let me walk out of the hospital. Picture of me in recovery curtesy of my boyfriend lol. 

      · 3 replies
      1. DaisyChainOz

        Glad it went well!! Wishing you a speedy recovery and wonderful success!! 🤗

      2. buildabetteranna

        Thank you ❤️

      3. Selina333

        Neat you have a pic of this day! I was sooo happy to get my surgery. It was well worth it! And I'm not even near my goal. I had surgery Dec. 2!

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×