Discrimination / social marginalization

[edub 5]

Just wondering who here has experienced discrimination and or social marginalization as a result of their weight. Better yet, I would love to hear about people who experienced this but no longer do.

I often feel like people have a bad impression of me due to my weight. They think I am a glutton, lazy and of weak character. Of course they don't say it, but I can tell they think it. I even think that other single men think I will scare the girls away and bring down the general quality of the group.

[kkarryall 0]

I have felt in the past that I was turned down for certain jobs due to my weight, also felt discriminated against as a customer in stores...I do not feel that way anymore...there is definitely discrimination against fat people...

[bambam31 168]

There is no denying this fact. People treat me much differently now compared to pre-band. Unfortunately, it's just a fact of society like it or not. One good thing is that it adds to the list of NSV's as you lose fat and get fit...

Brad

[agiudice 0]

I will say, men let me through doors first and hold them open for me at work and such. They never did before. But I really do not feel I was discriminated against.

That being said. I did not weigh 400 lbs. So I have no idea what that would feel like

[CharCo 0]

Yes, I do think people treat you differently. I lost alot of weight several years ago and people just paid more attention to me - the guys at the security desk in my office always went of their way to say hello and ask me how my day was going...now, they pretty much ignore me. I'm sure as I continue on my journey I will notice it again - it will be fun to observe.

I also think obese people are treated differently in the workplace. I don't think I could go out today and get the same job that I'd be able to get as a thin and fit person. I'm a CPA and work as a manager in a big public company. I have the credentials, but I don't have the look. Look around at any big company - how many obese people do you see in the jobs that start with "Chief" - not many! Not because we aren't qualified, but because people are just not able to see us for who we are. Sad, but true. I've even recently said "When I lose all this weight, I'm going to get a new job..." I actually believe the cost of my surgery will be outweighed by my increased future earning potential.

[agiudice 0]

I have chief in my work title

[Jachut 487]

Ah, yeah. For being THIN.

Fat women can be real bitches when they think they're being outshone by someone more attractive than they are (note, that's not to say that I actually think I'm more attractive, or that being thin is the only criteria for being attractive, as I said in your other post about men).

That's the honest truth. I got to a BMI of 35, so I guess I always looked "normal" fat, not "look at that lady mummy" fat. I was never a threat to anyone. But since I lost weight I have to endure nasty comments about eating disorders, anorexia and exercise obsession and people assume I'm vain and self absorbed.

Oh, I get more male attention that I didnt get before. But that doesnt offend me becuase before I was FAT. I looked awful. I didnt look my best, I was bloated, puffy and probably had a negative vibe. I think its entirely natural to be more attractive when you're healthier and thinner. Its not meant to be discriminatory, its just how it is.

[LapNYC 3]

I was on the bus about six months ago with my three kids. We were sitting near the front because we weren't going to be on the bus for long. A woman got on wearing a boot--the kind you wear for a few months after having surgery or something. She didn't have crutches or a cane. She was just walking in the boot and I'd say she was about 50 or so. I moved my bag so that she could sit next to me if she wanted and she said that I was taking up some of the next seat because I was too fat and that I needed to stand up for her. There were PLENTY of other seats on the bus and this woman wasn't 'real' handicapped or anything. She said this in front of my kids and clearly my being overweight just bothered her. My mere existence was annoying. It was horrible because my kids were really confused and I didn't even know how to react. I ended up standing up and telling my kids that some people are angry at the world because they don't have any friends or have sad lives and take it out on the wrong people. I needed to "punish" her in some way and the other riders were definitely on my side. I have to admit, it still stings. I give my seat to any pregnant woman and older person under the sun. In this scenario I deserved to sit down as much as the next person.

It is very strange to me now that I can slide into a seat next to an overweight person. I do my best to be nice and smiley about it.

[BetsyB 9]

I never felt discriminated against, but I do feel as though I became invisible.

[lauragshsu 6]

I was treated like a moron. I'm not sure when weight = intelligence, but people assumed because I was obese I was an idiot. Most were very surprised when they hear me speak in intelligent, well thought out sentences and found out I have a graduate degree.

This is a great NSV for me: I was at a garage sale last weekend, looking for furniture or toys, and the woman who lived there said "we have a ton of clothes in your size". Surprised because it's so rare to find plus sized clothing at garage sales, I went to investigate. Either she is really bad at estimating sizes or I look a lot slimmer that I thought, because all the clothes were a regular large, no X's added to it.

[edub 5]

Interesting replies. Many of the obvious injustices are not surprising. What I find most interesting are the subtle slights such as the person above who said people assume he or she was stupid and the other that said "I was invisible."

It seems the subtle things can hurt the most because I often can't figure out the reason for them. I wonder why people give less credence to what I say and dismiss my ideas for no good reason.

I also get this cold shoulder thing as if my presence makes others look bad. I guess they figure people are judged by the company they keep.

Funny thing too, it doesn't seem to take much additional weight for people to start looking down on you. 20lbs overweight is where it begins in my experience.

I guess people just feel that if you are overweight, everything about you is discredited.

[blackcherry2002 5]

I was pretty invisible as well and got treated like I was an idiot. Now it's completely different.

[Libbyjane1976 1]

When I was heavier I was pretty much invisible to people. That's a hard thing to get used to is having people especially men paying attention to me.

[edub 5]

Well, it sure is encouraging to hear that so many people no longer feel marginalized. I hate being perceived as low value simply because of my weight. Hard to believe people would think more of a person just because they are thin. But, in watching people I have noticed that all the people who are in the most desirable social circles are all thin.

Of course, those people may not truly be "desirable." In fact, they may be superficial, rotten people. But you get the idea.

[CharCo 0]

I have chief in my work title

Awesome! That's great to hear - I know some of my perceptions come from my own warped work situation. I need to find a new job - I just don't have the confidence to do it yet. I know I shouldn't base my self confidence on the size of my pants!