Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Attracting women.



Recommended Posts

I'm not banded yet but my weight has fluctuated considerably through the years. I have noticed a significant correlation between my weight and my ability to attract women even though I have never truly been thin by most standards.

MY weight is currently around 290 although being very muscular I carry it well - so I'm told. But I'm not sure what your question has to do with anything.

Okay, so then we wear our weight very similar, then. I have also fluctuated, so I know what you mean. I was probably only skinny for one summer when I was a kid. haha. I was also banded at 291lbs and dropped 91lbs, by the way. I would consider that a pretty hefty loss.

Anyway, I asked because I have this sneaking suspicion that you think WAY too much about it. For the record, make no mistake that I agree that a guy's weight and his ability to get women are directly correlated; however, there are outside factors that are not being considered. Having said that, you have to factor in where the increased confidence comes from, whether it be due to significant weight loss, increased exercise or some combination of the two. Make no mistake, too, there were other girls before I met my fiance and I had little trouble getting them to like me. haha.

Going into this a little deeper, for a "study" to say that women can rate a man's confidence level is would make self-confidence an external trait, rather than an internal trait, therefore making it an unreliable study. For example, that's like me looking at every single post on this message board and deciding the average age of the normal poster on here, by asking everyone what they think the mean age is on here. Without proof from that person, who knows their age is. It's not empirically possible to figure out from an estimation.

All I'm saying is that you can have any MTV/VH1 dating course you want, which I saw on TV by the way, but that doesn't mean that it's going to work. lol. Trust me, if you did half of those things with girls who don't go to clubs and get wasted all of the time, you would never get a date because they ALSO watched that show and know what you're doing. lol. I have a few female friends who go to clubs and tell me about guys who do that and make asses of themselves. Just a fair warning. lol.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I apologise edub, it wasnt meant to be personal or insulting, merely making the oberservation that based only on this thread, I *could* form enough of an opinion to make all sorts of assumptions about who you are. That has nothing to do with your weight because I cant see you! No doubt, you *could* do the same about me.

For the record, I really do attempt to suspend assumption here, becuase you can easily misread what people or meaning or the tone in which they're saying it.

Surely you can see that in real life also what you say and do matters as much as how you look?.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sigh...

I really didn't want to get into a debate about the question. What I was hoping for is a few guys who have been down that road to weigh in on the issue.

Yes, one could always attribute their success to increased confidence and in some cases they may be correct. But, I'm sure there are guys like me who have confidence in spades but find it doesn't overcome the negative image of being fat.

See, I know all kinds of techniques for appearing confident that most people are not even aware of. The science of attraction goes way beyond the goofy stuff the amateurs in the VH1 series do. And no, I never use any of those corny bits. That is pure amateur stuff.

For instance, the way a man sits indicates his level of confidence. Open body language and a relaxed position are a couple - body language is a science in itself and it is powerful when used correctly. Confidence can be expressed vocal tonality, by proximity to others including other guys, in the way one touches someone and in the way one approaches. Politicians are trained in how to shake hands in such a manner as to appear confident and so am I. In fact, I have a special handshake I use specifically to give the impression of confidence.

All of these things (including confidence) are meant to give the guy the appearance of high social standing which women find attractive. This trips their attraction switches because a man with high social status is seen as more able to ensure the survival of the woman's offspring. Numerous studies have shown that a man's height is of the utmost importance in attracting women. Tall men are viewed as better protectors.

The problem with being over weight is that it has a strong negative social stigma. Fat guys are seldom the center of the "in crowd." The impression of a negative social status is incredibly unattractive to women - especially if the guy is short. So, it is more than just a visual thing.

See, guys are simple. We look for signs of health, youth and fertility. That is how our brains are wired. But that also includes a woman with good values in the end.

Women, are much more complex as explained above. But, in todays age of pressuring women to act like men, more and more women are imitating male sexuality and seeking "boy toys."

So sure, back in the day when all the fat guys were in the Chief's or the King's inner circle, that was seen as attractive. (Actually, heavier women were seen as more attractive back then too.) But today, being fat means you are an outcast and that is unacceptable for women who have a great deal of options.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So, let me get this straight........

You are short, fat, and can't be the "Boy Toy" you would like to be? Ahhhh, I'm just razzing ya :)

I think you are thinking too much about it. You'll get the band, attract women and the world will be right.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So, let me get this straight........

You are short, fat, and can't be the "Boy Toy" you would like to be? Ahhhh, I'm just razzing ya :)

I think you are thinking too much about it. You'll get the band, attract women and the world will be right.

LOL. I doubt it will make the world right but it might make it a little more fun.

Anyway, I reposted this in the men's room in a more appropriatly crude manner.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sigh...

I really didn't want to get into a debate about the question. What I was hoping for is a few guys who have been down that road to weigh in on the issue.

Yes, one could always attribute their success to increased confidence and in some cases they may be correct. But, I'm sure there are guys like me who have confidence in spades but find it doesn't overcome the negative image of being fat.

See, I know all kinds of techniques for appearing confident that most people are not even aware of. The science of attraction goes way beyond the goofy stuff the amateurs in the VH1 series do. And no, I never use any of those corny bits. That is pure amateur stuff.

For instance, the way a man sits indicates his level of confidence. Open body language and a relaxed position are a couple - body language is a science in itself and it is powerful when used correctly. Confidence can be expressed vocal tonality, by proximity to others including other guys, in the way one touches someone and in the way one approaches. Politicians are trained in how to shake hands in such a manner as to appear confident and so am I. In fact, I have a special handshake I use specifically to give the impression of confidence.

All of these things (including confidence) are meant to give the guy the appearance of high social standing which women find attractive. This trips their attraction switches because a man with high social status is seen as more able to ensure the survival of the woman's offspring. Numerous studies have shown that a man's height is of the utmost importance in attracting women. Tall men are viewed as better protectors.

The problem with being over weight is that it has a strong negative social stigma. Fat guys are seldom the center of the "in crowd." The impression of a negative social status is incredibly unattractive to women - especially if the guy is short. So, it is more than just a visual thing.

See, guys are simple. We look for signs of health, youth and fertility. That is how our brains are wired. But that also includes a woman with good values in the end.

Women, are much more complex as explained above. But, in todays age of pressuring women to act like men, more and more women are imitating male sexuality and seeking "boy toys."

So sure, back in the day when all the fat guys were in the Chief's or the King's inner circle, that was seen as attractive. (Actually, heavier women were seen as more attractive back then too.) But today, being fat means you are an outcast and that is unacceptable for women who have a great deal of options.

"trips their attraction switches"

"todays age of pressuring women to act like men"

This might be the biggest bunch of BS I have ever heard, and I am a car salesman and I have heard a lot of BS in my time.

FYI--You cant "attact women" because you act like an egotistical, chauvinistic, pseudo-intellectual and that is not attractive at any weight.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"trips their attraction switches"

"todays age of pressuring women to act like men"

This might be the biggest bunch of BS I have ever heard, and I am a car salesman and I have heard a lot of BS in my time.

FYI--You cant "attact women" because you act like an egotistical, chauvinistic, pseudo-intellectual and that is not attractive at any weight.

LOL! All that huh? Let me guess - you must be an ardent Feminist, am I close? I know how much you guys hate that stuff. You don't have to shoot the messenger though.

And I can get lots of women - I just prefer ones that are drop dead gorgeous.:tt2:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

LOL! All that huh? Let me guess - you must be an ardent Feminist, am I close? I know how much you guys hate that stuff. You don't have to shoot the messenger though.

And I can get lots of women - I just prefer ones that are drop dead gorgeous.:tt2:

Ardent Feminist, no. Anti-BS, yes.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have merged the two threads. One of these is more than enough.

I only ask that all posting please keep it civil. Thank you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Would you or can you just lock or delete this one and keep the other?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Closed per Original Poster request. Please see "Bedding Hotties" for reference.

http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f110/bedding-hotties-118441/

Again, just keep it civil, thank you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×