male only Attracting women.

[GoneFishin 0]

A few have eluded to increased self-esteem and confidence since weight loss, which, I think, is a key factor. Personally, I find myself in more casual conversations with women since losing 63 lbs. I deeply love my wife of 44 years and am not searching for adventure, but I am more comfortable in the presence of ladies than before.

[edub 5]

A few have eluded to increased self-esteem and confidence since weight loss, which, I think, is a key factor. Personally, I find myself in more casual conversations with women since losing 63 lbs. I deeply love my wife of 44 years and am not searching for adventure, but I am more comfortable in the presence of ladies than before.

"Increased self-esteem and confidence" is a euphemism they use to deny their own superficial side. Women also consistently rate taller men as "more confident" as well as wealthier men. When a guy has money he is also "established, ambitious, knows what he wants, focused, etc."

Now to be fair, I'm sure losing 80lbs will increase your confidence, but that is not key - your weight is. I have this little self deprecating joke I only share with close friends.

What does a girl call a super confident fat guy?

Creep.

[LeighaMason 19]

What do I call a super confident fat guy?

My husband.

[neveragain 9]

"Increased self-esteem and confidence" is a euphemism they use to deny their own superficial side. Women also consistently rate taller men as "more confident" as well as wealthier men. When a guy has money he is also "established, ambitious, knows what he wants, focused, etc."

Now to be fair, I'm sure losing 80lbs will increase your confidence, but that is not key - your weight is. I have this little self deprecating joke I only share with close friends.

What does a girl call a super confident fat guy?

Creep.

You know, I can't whittle down to exactly why this rubbed me the wrong way, but it did.

So, basically what you're saying is that if you were ever fat and/or not 6'3" or taller, you're up shit creek, then? Yeah...not so much. I know some guys who are 6'3"/6'4" and skinny who wouldn't stand a change against me. 85% of getting girls is how you talk to them. DONE. I'd be willing to put money on it. If you don't know how to talk to a girl and you keep tripping over your words, you're done, kid. It helps if you're skinny, but let me tell you, that is the least of your worries...

Unfortunately, edub, if you want those girls in the clubs with the gigantic ass, huge tits, and brains that would rival that of the lap dog, you need a high-paying job and STILL know how to talk to girls.

Tip of the day, kid: Learn how to talk to girls, THEN worry about how your weight affects it.

FROM THE MOUTH OF THE FIANCE: Learn how to talk to girls because a skinny body won't do the talking for you.

[neveragain 9]

What do I call a super confident fat guy?

My husband.

You know that you use Facebook too much when you are look for a "like" button.

In this case, *5000 likes*. haha.

[edub 5]

You know, I can't whittle down to exactly why this rubbed me the wrong way, but it did.

So, basically what you're saying is that if you were ever fat and/or not 6'3" or taller, you're up shit creek, then? Yeah...not so much. I know some guys who are 6'3"/6'4" and skinny who wouldn't stand a change against me. 85% of getting girls is how you talk to them. DONE. I'd be willing to put money on it. If you don't know how to talk to a girl and you keep tripping over your words, you're done, kid. It helps if you're skinny, but let me tell you, that is the least of your worries...

Unfortunately, edub, if you want those girls in the clubs with the gigantic ass, huge tits, and brains that would rival that of the lap dog, you need a high-paying job and STILL know how to talk to girls.

Tip of the day, kid: Learn how to talk to girls, THEN worry about how your weight affects it.

FROM THE MOUTH OF THE FIANCE: Learn how to talk to girls because a skinny body won't do the talking for you.

Funny you should mention that because I used to teach guys how to pick up women. It is a lot more involved than just knowing how to talk to them. There is an entire science to it. Perhaps you have seen the VH1 series "The Pickup Artists"? While involved in that community, I learned a great deal about the science of attraction and I also learned its limitations.

Now, the guys who charge $5,000 for their boot camps (I was asked to be an instructor by these guys) want guys to think that nothing matters but having "good game." The fact is, if you are decent looking guy (thin) of at least average height and you can't pick up women, those techniques make the world of difference. But, if you are fat none of it is going to help you a whole lot.

Now I know some fat guys can get a woman - I still do occasionally. But you aren't going to see many fat guys leaving the club with a hottie based on game alone.

Now I know guys HATE to hear this. Guys always want to believe that there is something they can do besides losing weight or buying a yacht that will attract super models. I believe this is because society has always told us that men are the superficial ones and women are supposed to look for things like good character and stability. The thought that maybe this isn't true just pisses us off. In our minds, that just isn't how it is supposed to work.

Well, I hate to break it to you but women look at fat guys the same way men look at fat women. And where height is concerned, there have been studies that show that a difference of 1.5 inches significantly changes the chance that a man has children. Taller men also make more money and have better chances at promotions.

I'm sure there are a lot of guys who can say "I'm fat and I'm married." But, I doubt there are many men here who are 70lbs over weight who can say they pull tail like Chachi from Happy days.

I'm betting there are guys on this forum who have experienced the difference.

[bambam31 168]

It almost seems like a silly conversation but I have one friend in particular (a life long thin guy) who insist that obesity is not a factor for men when it comes to attracting women.

Although conventional thinking holds that "women don't care about looks" I rarely see over weight men (especially short ones) with attractive women - save for very wealthy men of course.

So, I would like to hear specifically from men who have lost significant weight (100lbs or so). Or, guys with waists 34" or less who have lost a good 10".

Do you now have an easier time attracting women? And please don't give me any nonsense about being more confident. 4 beers makes any man confident.

OK... I'm not that smart and very simplistic... Maybe it's just me... Are you asking an honest question in your original post? Or are you looking for study subjects?

Brad

[edub 5]

OK... I'm not that smart and very simplistic... Maybe it's just me... Are you asking an honest question in your original post? Or are you looking for study subjects?

Brad

I'm looking for success stories.

I'm looking for guys who have admitted to themselves that their weight and not "lack of confidence" was what was limiting their ability to attract the women they wanted and who have taken the necessary steps to remove this obstacle from their lives.

I know there are guys on this forum that have noticed a huge improvement in their ability to attract women. I'd like to hear from them.

Funny thing - it is such an easy thing for women to admit and yet so hard for men.

[bambam31 168]

I think most of the women on here, so far at least, have disagreed with your analysis. They are more interested in the areas other than weight, unless weight was pushed to an overwhelming extreme.

BUT... You seem to be referring to men "scoring" and I think the women on here are referring more in terms of a "relationship."

Am I not on track here?

Brad

[edub 5]

I knew most women would disagree before starting the thread. That is a whole other subject.

Had I asked if women find it easier to attract men after losing a great deal of weight and if their weight loss was the main factor 99% would say yes. Men can not make the same admission.

The belief that women are attracted to so many other characteristics of men (one they still believe) is kind of a through back to the days when women weren't self sufficient. Also, keep in mind that years ago being fat was synonymous with wealth and power - things that women are attracted to.

Now it's all much different. Women are often self sufficient and being fat is associated with poverty rather than wealth. Being thin is now associated with wealth and high social standing.

But what about you? Do you attribute it all to the uniform and mustache?

[bambam31 168]

I knew most women would disagree before starting the thread. That is a whole other subject.

Had I asked if women find it easier to attract men after losing a great deal of weight and if their weight loss was the main factor 99% would say yes. Men can not make the same admission.

The belief that women are attracted to so many other characteristics of men (one they still believe) is kind of a through back to the days when women weren't self sufficient. Also, keep in mind that years ago being fat was synonymous with wealth and power - things that women are attracted to.

Now it's all much different. Women are often self sufficient and being fat is associated with poverty rather than wealth. Being thin is now associated with wealth and high social standing.

But what about you? Do you attribute it all to the uniform and mustache?

So you believe it's even steven between men and women? I'm not so certain about that. Anecdotally speaking, I think men are less likely to have an open ongoing relationship with a large woman than vice versa. And actually I can point to several overweight uniforms that have successfully attracted thin good looking woman primarily because of the uniform. BUT.... (there's always a but isn't there? ) I'm very happily married, however, I do get a lot more looks and comments from women than I did 100 pounds ago, but I'm much more assertive in conversation than I was then too. Alright... enough rambling...

Brad

[Jachut 487]

"Increased self-esteem and confidence" is a euphemism they use to deny their own superficial side. Women also consistently rate taller men as "more confident" as well as wealthier men. When a guy has money he is also "established, ambitious, knows what he wants, focused, etc."

Now to be fair, I'm sure losing 80lbs will increase your confidence, but that is not key - your weight is. I have this little self deprecating joke I only share with close friends.

What does a girl call a super confident fat guy?

Creep.

Wow, you really do want an argument, dont you? I think quite a few people have said weight is not a huge issue. I have to admit, that's rubbed me the wrong way too.

I have to be honest, I've formed an opinion over the last few days based on several posts, and I'm starting to assume that you've had some sort of negative experiences in the past that you attribute to your weight. That might be absolutely wrong. But can you see that, since I've never laid eyes on you, that my reaction to you is based on behaviour not appearance? Its the same in real life.

An excellent point was made above, that you're really talking about "scoring". Having met me DH at 16 and having been happily with him for 27 or so years now, I can honestly say I have never been out and tried to score.

And I dont think a lot of women really have that mentality to be honest. Yes, we go out and hope to meet someone but I think you're imposing what really is a standard male viewpoint (and not all males, not at all) onto women. I dont view men in that way, as a prospective sexual conquest and nothing more. I'm not wired that way. Were I out looking ot meet someone, I would be looking for at least a relationship, if not a long term one. So for me, and I believe for a majority of females, personality and other traits come into it way more than looks.

If I can let my shallow side show for a moment, I'd have to say that apparent wealth attracts me more than a body type. I grew up in a household with a professional white collar father, my DH works in the same field, most of the males in my family come from that genre. So I tend to find men attractive that appear to fit that mould. I'd not to be immediately attracted to a forklift driver dressed in overalls. But could I overcome that once I met him? You bet!

[edub 5]

Wow, you really do want an argument, dont you? I think quite a few people have said weight is not a huge issue. I have to admit, that's rubbed me the wrong way too.

I have to be honest, I've formed an opinion over the last few days based on several posts, and I'm starting to assume that you've had some sort of negative experiences in the past that you attribute to your weight. That might be absolutely wrong. But can you see that, since I've never laid eyes on you, that my reaction to you is based on behaviour not appearance? Its the same in real life.

An excellent point was made above, that you're really talking about "scoring". Having met me DH at 16 and having been happily with him for 27 or so years now, I can honestly say I have never been out and tried to score.

And I dont think a lot of women really have that mentality to be honest. Yes, we go out and hope to meet someone but I think you're imposing what really is a standard male viewpoint (and not all males, not at all) onto women. I dont view men in that way, as a prospective sexual conquest and nothing more. I'm not wired that way. Were I out looking ot meet someone, I would be looking for at least a relationship, if not a long term one. So for me, and I believe for a majority of females, personality and other traits come into it way more than looks.

If I can let my shallow side show for a moment, I'd have to say that apparent wealth attracts me more than a body type. I grew up in a household with a professional white collar father, my DH works in the same field, most of the males in my family come from that genre. So I tend to find men attractive that appear to fit that mould. I'd not to be immediately attracted to a forklift driver dressed in overalls. But could I overcome that once I met him? You bet!

I don't know why you would feel the need to insult me or make this a personal issue. Are you familiar with the term "argument ad-hominem"?

I fully understand that conventional wisdom holds that women are not interested in a man's appearance. I know that men firmly want to believe that this conventional wisdom is correct and I wouldn't expect too many women who have had bariatric surgery to say they would only date a thin guy.

That is why I was specific about wanting to hear from (single) men who have lost a great deal of weight and have noticed an improvement in their ability to attract women.

So far nobody who has replied has really been in a position to answer the question.

Perhaps I should find the men's section and posit the question there with very specific instructions about who should reply.

[neveragain 9]

So, edub, riddle the peanut gallery this: How long have you had the lap-band and what is your weight right now?

[edub 5]

So, edub, riddle the peanut gallery this: How long have you had the lap-band® and what is your weight right now?

I'm not banded yet but my weight has fluctuated considerably through the years. I have noticed a significant correlation between my weight and my ability to attract women even though I have never truly been thin by most standards.

MY weight is currently around 290 although being very muscular I carry it well - so I'm told. But I'm not sure what your question has to do with anything.