DATING - To tell or Not to tell??

[Jazz3008 0]

I was banded almost three months ago and have been single about two years. I am slowing getting back into the "dating game" and I'm wondering - if you've dated since being banded - do you tell them? If so, when?

[kurt2005 0]

Tell them when you feel is right! I don't tell until it becomes more than just going out and having fun. Once it becomes a relationship type, when i tell because most everyone around me knows that I had the band. So i just want to be the one who tells them.

[Windus 0]

On this one I tell. The reason being is there are a lot of men out there who are "chubby chasers" and you need to know right up front if the person you are going to date is one. You don't want to waste your time on someone who is going to be trying to sabotage you. I have a online dating ad and I put it right on there - "recently had weight loss surgery so if you are only looking for BBWs please move on as I won't be one for much longer!"

[AlienBandit 10]

If you feel it is right to tell the guy your dating then go ahead and tell them.

I have been banded, de banded and then banded again and there is a guy I have kind of been seeing the whole time. The poor man must be confused, first I never ate a lot of dates then I did and now I am on liquids so I am avoiding dinners with him al together. I haven't told him because I am not exactly sure where I stand with him.

Another guy I was dating right after I got debanded I told because we were more exclusive and it didn't even phase him. He was great helping with excuses etc when we went out with friends who didn't know about my surgery.

Now there is a new guy who wants to go on a date with me and now he has to wait because I just got rebanded so I have to go through the liquids, mushies etc before we can go for dinner. He doesnt know about the surgery and I think it would take me a long time to tell him that I had surgery because he is basically a complete stranger to me right now.

Personally I feel more comfortable telling people that I have known for a long time. Telling an acquaintance is a little hard for me.

Just follow your gut. Everyone I have told ( some co workers and friends) have all been supportive so it gives me hope that a guy I'm dating won't judge me either

[koreabandster 1]

I think it's good to be open about it once you know it's going somewhere.

I've been banded almost a month now and I met someone about two weeks before my surgery. I felt comfortable telling him because last year he lost about 60lbs and is now incredibly fit and healthy (and muscular - yum!), so because of this he has been an enormous source of support and encouragement. I can ask him questions about exercise and nutrition because he's been through it and he's maintaining well. We're even training for a 5k in October together. I feel really lucky to have met him.

I agree with Windus, be careful of the chubby chasers. I didn't realise my ex was one until I told him I was considering surgery. He basically told me not to lose too much weight. When I told him my goal weight he looked horrified!

Sorry to hijack the threat but how did your rebanding go Alienbandit? I was going to call you over the weekend but I didn't want to disturb you. Hope you're feeling ok and work isn't too bad this week.