Blowing it out if proportion???

[jmunks2000 8]

I visit this site about three times a week. It provides support and inspiration. Well last week, I was on here and I decided to comment on someone's blog. I don't comment too often but I felt compelled to because I completely understood the person's discouragement and I wanted to motivate her/him not to base weight loss on pictures taken. Anyway, my would-be husband became upset and acted a fool because I was blogging. First, he started accusing me of being on FB, when he found out I was on this site, he became more upset and started ranting about chatting with unknown ppl and beginning unhealthy/flirty relationships on here. He said they (these relationships) begin with a sob story response. On and on....... I don't get his anger? I don't think I come on here too often and I need the support. I told him that I would not visit as often but I will not give it up...not even to save our relationship? Don't I have the right? I'm not doing anything wrong on here and I don't like feeling like I have to sneak on when I'm not doing anything wrong. Has anyone experienced this?

[Windus 0]

My question would be why you would consider marrying someone who would try to control you in such a way. A man who tries to cut you off from any support is often a man that will become physically abusive. Since he is already being emotionally abusive that is a very short leap to physical abuse. Personally I would be running in the other direction, fast!

[New Joy 0]

I used to belong to a mommy group, a money group, and a diet group. It became an issue because I was spending more time online than with my hubby. Even though I was multitasking-- I wasn't giving him the full attention I should.

So, we have a rule. No computer/ tv while our son is awake and then we make a conscious effort to spend quality time together- once we have gotten all of our talking out---he can watch tv and I can do whatever on the computer.

We started this new rule about 10 months ago and it has cut down on a ton of arguments etc.

[Anyajasmom 0]

AMEN!!!!:thumbup:

[btrieger 21]

Sounds like he is afraid he is going to lose you because you are looking good!

[mushsbat 1]

Me and my husband met in a chat room where we had no intentions of ever meeting someone. We were just there to talk about music. It took us 2 years to get together. We have now been married 4 years. We have a rule that there is no chatting what so ever! We know where it can lead. I do read comments and post my own. I need the support. I will not cross that line of chatting. I know where your husband is coming from. Make your rules together and stick to them. Don't make it an arguement, make it a compromise. He needs to see why you need to be on this forum, and that there is no need to personally chat with anyone.

[kcarny 0]

My boyfriend and I have each others' passwords to any social networking sites, email, etc. we're on. Would it make him feel better if he had yours?

[x96oun 0]

I think the biggest issue is trust. I would not marry someone who did not trust me in the first place or vice versa. Also I do not check my wife's email or even have her passwords. If someone really wants to cheat, the computer is not the easiest way to do this. Does he sit with you at work all day, follow you to the grocery store, go out with yourself and your friends. Unfortunately the internet has received a bad rap, but there are other ways to be unfaithful to someone than posting or blogging on the internet!!

[jmunks2000 8]

I used to belong to a mommy group, a money group, and a diet group. It became an issue because I was spending more time online than with my hubby. Even though I was multitasking-- I wasn't giving him the full attention I should.

So, we have a rule. No computer/ tv while our son is awake and then we make a conscious effort to spend quality time together- once we have gotten all of our talking out---he can watch tv and I can do whatever on the computer.

We started this new rule about 10 months ago and it has cut down on a ton of arguments etc.

yeah, I decided to get on when he's at work and the children are asleep....early in the morning, except now cause the children are out. He says that ppl on the pc get more attention from me than they do. I don't think that is true but oh well. I guess my biggest problem is I don't want the support turned off. His way of supporting me is not working. He said it is because I want someone to side with me when I am eating wrong (NOT TRUE). I told him, I just want him to listen sometimes,and not judge....just listen. Anyway, I like the idea of sitting and making pc rules. I just wanted to be sure this wasn't a control thing, cause that's not my style.

[jmunks2000 8]

My boyfriend and I have each others' passwords to any social networking sites, email, etc. we're on. Would it make him feel better if he had yours?

He has my FB password and I have his. We do not check each others emails, phones, or anything else....his recommendation for the most part. He is welcome to info because I stay logged on. I don't ever have personal/private chats.

[Mommy2Ps 4]

Guilty Conscience on his part, maybe??

My first thought would be he's hiding something from YOU, hence the paranoia. I'm going from a gut feeling here. Most people who get all bent out of shape are either trying to hide their own infidelity or he has extreme jealousy issues. In either event, I would take a long hard at look at the relationship. Best of luck!

[Jazz3008 0]

I think this is a GREAT place to share our experiences & have a small "community" of people going through the same thing. I understand the trust issue but if you're going to spend the REST OF YOUR LIFE with this guy, he's going to have to give a little. Maybe coming up with a compromise or letting him review the posts on here. I've YET to see someone get flirty with someone else...in OUR view at least. You're a strong beautiful girl! Don't let this bring you down. :thumbup:

[onenuttynurse 0]

Okay..I will comment on this one. I have been married 20 years, and It will be a cold day in hell before my husband tells me who I can and cannot talk to....I am a 42 year old professional woman and I make my own money, hence I will do with it what I want. Don't get me wrong, first we pay our bills and make sure everything is on order,however he never tells me I can't chat or talk on the phone or computer. I would like to see him try it once...Now if he asks me who i am talking to, I am more than happy to involve him in the conversation. I have nothing to hide....Its comes down to insecurities...make all the FB/chat rules you want, but if you want to cheat I can think of a hell of a lot easier ways to cheat than Fb chat or lap band blog, chats....LOl....thats funny......

I am woman, hear me roar.........................

[Jachut 487]

No, the only time we've ever fought about online stuff is when I've gotten a bit obsessed with it, lol. Like spending 4 hours a day chatting to other mums and THEN going and meet for coffee that very afternoon, wasting the entire day on socialising, forgetting to pick up the drycleaning or do any housework at all.

And even then its not a case of him telling me I cant do something, I wouldnt tolerate that and I wouldnt be with a man who thought he could tell me what to do. Rather the deal being that we work together to bring money into the home, maintain the household and raise our children and we both do our share. Socialising ALL day isnt really part of that if its happening nearly every day.

I dont do Facebook becuase I just dont have time anymore. I'm working full time now.

The internet is dangerous and I do have concerns about sites like Facebook, the forums I was involved in were only ever private and you had to be vouched for to get in - it was people I already knew for the most part which is why I was happy to meet with people as well. It would never enter DH's head that I would get into a "relationship" online, that's pretty stupid and paranoid unless there's reason for him to believe that it will happen.

I dont think even a husband has ANY right to ban you from visiting whatever sites you want to.

[wish412 0]

Run jmunk run!!!!!!