Feeling like a total failure.

[scarroll 0]

I am 9 months out of surgery and have only gone from 267 to 230. I feel like a total failure! I take my protien, but am struggling with eating right and keeping up an exercise routine. I am so fed up with myself right now, any suggestions on what I can do to help get back on track? I am embarassed to say I had weight loss surgery not because I'm afraid people will say I took "the easy way out" (wich it is not) but because I feel like I have not been a success at all with this. Any suggestions much appreciated.

[lovinlife4eva 0]

I am recently banded so I cant personally help with the long term. However, a friend of mine had the band and hated it for like 6 months. She didnt lose alot of weight and felt like she had totally wasted her time and money. Then around her 7th month she went to her doc and had a frank conversation about her weight loss. He upped her cc's for her fill (sorry I dont know the #'s). He was reluctant to do so b/c he is a conservative doc. She has gone from 300lb pre op, then down 27lb in 1st 6 months, to now 215lb 1 year post op. She says she was just one of those people who could handle more fill.

Could that be you also? I dont know.

Also, you have lost 37lbs! If you are anything like me I could lose weight but then I always gain back. It dosent sound like you are gaining.

The biggest change I want to make is not record-setting weight loss, but weight loss that stays LOST!

Before the band were you ever able to lose nearly 40 lbs and stay on track for 9 months? I know I was always trying to lose 30 lbs FAST and then 2 months later I was back to gaining. There was never a permanent weight loss. I was either on a strict diet or I was gaining.

I think you are the turtle in the world of weight loss and you should wear your shell proudly. Remember, he wins the race!

Good Luck!

[btrieger 21]

STOP IT!!!

You are doing great but your attitude sucks.

You have lost a astounding 37 pounds. That is 14% of your total body weight when you started and more than 40% of your excess weight. It also averages out to about 1 pound a week which is fantastic.

Had you not had surgery and started eating right, you may have put 37 pounds on and gone over 300.

You probably enjoy playing with your kids more than you did 9 months ago and you've also probably lengthened you lifespan.

Keep doing what you're doing but look at all of the positives.

[LeighaMason 19]

I am going to challenge you to name another time where you were 47 pounds lighter than you were the year before. Especially since you now have the ability to keep it off.

You have been banded for 3/4 of a year at 47 pounds so at that rate your going to be down about 60 for the year. That is a pound a week and nothing to be ashamed of! How many people do you personally know, other than you, that are on track to lose 60 this year? (Non-WLS people) I don't know any. Everyone I know personally, that have not had any type of WLS, are either the same or fatter than they were last year.

I think you need to do what I call a reality check. Find a pre-op picture of yourself. Take a current picture in the same pose and put them side by side. You will be amazed at the difference. I think we are just so use to living inside ourselves that we lose perspective.

Your doing great! Just keep working on your choices and exercise when you can. And quit using the F word!

[kris c 0]

I am 9 months out of surgery and have only gone from 267 to 230. I feel like a total failure! I take my protien, but am struggling with eating right and keeping up an exercise routine. I am so fed up with myself right now, any suggestions on what I can do to help get back on track? I am embarassed to say I had weight loss surgery not because I'm afraid people will say I took "the easy way out" (wich it is not) but because I feel like I have not been a success at all with this. Any suggestions much appreciated.

I know how you feel, I got banned 13 months ago and have only lost 47 pds. I still have 70 pds to go. So I too am frustrated. I throw up a lot. Even on Soup. Eating the right foods is hard when even lettuce make me hurl. I spent a lot of money (my own cash, no insurance) on this and really feel jipped!! The only positive thing I can say is that at least the scale isn't UP 47 pds cause that is the track I was on. So I feel blessed that way..but still frustrated. I've been working out off and on through out the last 13 months too.... Try and stay positive and look at the accomplishment rather than the finish line. Good luck to you!

[Cocoabean 430]

I am 9 months out of surgery and have only gone from 267 to 230. I feel like a total failure! I take my protien, but am struggling with eating right and keeping up an exercise routine. I am so fed up with myself right now, any suggestions on what I can do to help get back on track? I am embarassed to say I had weight loss surgery not because I'm afraid people will say I took "the easy way out" (wich it is not) but because I feel like I have not been a success at all with this. Any suggestions much appreciated.

You are averaging a pound a week! We bandsters can expect 1-2 pounds per week. So, you are on the low end, but not a failure!

I averaged about 3/4 of a pound in my active weight loss phase. It was frustratingly slow. But you know, I was losing with confidence. I was not afraid that the weight was going to come back on if I sneezed.

My weight has now stablized at a number I hadn't seen in years.

When is the last time you checked in with your doctor for a fill?

food choices are a challenge, one we all face. Unfortunately, the band doesn't work on our brains. Perhaps you could join one of the challenges here on lapbandtalk? Or are there support groups in your area?

It is possible, also, to do something like Weight Watchers with the band. It can help you to get back on an eating program.

[scarroll 0]

Thank you all so much for your comments and suggestions. I havn't been apart of a support group since I've been banded, and I am actually surprised to hear that I am not doing as bad as I thought... I am kinda ashamed to admit it now, but I havn't been back to the doc since my last fill 2 months ago because I felt like I wasn't doing enough to work with my band and my doc would be disapointed. I am my own worst enemy in this fight and I'm not giving up! Again, thanks for the support!

[Mangofish 1]

TG this isn't another "I feel like a failure 10 days post op". I think there is a presumption that if you don't lose all this weight quickly you wasted money and you are a loser. You are not!! If you are a failure than I need to just to jump off a bridge for only losing 30 pounds a in a year. Yes, sometimes I feel disappointed but I know I would never ever have lost it without the band. I am slightly annoyed at doctors who vary so much on lap band advice - by reading the boards some doctors yell at their patients for only losing a pound a week while my doctor is over the moon when I lose a pound a week.

You will have to keep getting fills until you hit the sweet spot. It took me 6 fills in 7 months to get really get there. I wonder why doctors don't seem to explain what this is as so many people on this board seem to think 1 or 2 fills will magically work which usually wont make a difference on most people. For instance, I am satisfied with yogurt and string cheese. Fills 1 thru 5 - I would have rolled my eyes at that - it would have taken 6 oz steak and mash potatoes to fill me up.

Hang in there and don't compare yourself to others.

[btrieger 21]

Thank you all so much for your comments and suggestions. I havn't been apart of a support group since I've been banded, and I am actually surprised to hear that I am not doing as bad as I thought... I am kinda ashamed to admit it now, but I havn't been back to the doc since my last fill 2 months ago because I felt like I wasn't doing enough to work with my band and my doc would be disapointed. I am my own worst enemy in this fight and I'm not giving up! Again, thanks for the support!

Your doctor will be happy with your progress and want to help further. Not only because you'll be healthier but because you are another of his success stories.

It's all an attitude thing. You are looking for the bad and finding it. Look for the good and you will find even more of it.

Do you have before pictures? Take some current pictures and put them side by side for inspiration.

[cnelson62 0]

I am 9 months out of surgery and have only gone from 267 to 230. I feel like a total failure! I take my protien, but am struggling with eating right and keeping up an exercise routine. I am so fed up with myself right now, any suggestions on what I can do to help get back on track? I am embarassed to say I had weight loss surgery not because I'm afraid people will say I took "the easy way out" (wich it is not) but because I feel like I have not been a success at all with this. Any suggestions much appreciated.[/quote

I know how you feel. I have been soon to be a year and I am feeling your pain. I have not been in a support group as well but have read the responses you have received. They are very helpful and very positive. I have had a setback to where all my Fluid had to be removed due to gall bladder surgery and have only had 2 fills put back in. I have heard several people say that it took them 6 to 7 fills to get to there green zone. After reading your responses from your post I feel tons better and have my head held high again and am determined not to give up! Good Luck with your weight loss! :grouphug:

[jr64044 0]

I am almost exactly one year out and have gone from 244 to 202. I-like you-beat myself up sometimes about it ONLY because I get stressed out when I go to the Dr that they are going to yell at me for not being further along. The truth is this morning I realized that I couldn't have done this, and kept it off without the band, and I am happy. The Dr's are the ones that bring me down by sorta making me feel bad. I am really happy with the weight I am at because I remind myself of where I started. I also struggle with getting down a consistant workout routine. I eat really well during the week, and on the weekends I let loose a little within reason. (I'm 24, I gotta live a lil) So regardless of what anyone says you should be proud, you did this for you after all, no one else. Its funny I just read this post, since I just had a lil heart to heart with myself this morning. You will get there, it just takes some of us more time than others. I wasn't expecting mine to come off overnight, and I'm really trying to just change the way I eat and my habits to something thats maintainable for life. Good luck to you, I hope for the best. :grouphug:

[cnelson62 0]

Well yesterday I was filled under fluro for the 1st time. My doctor put in 1.8cc this time and today I can definately feel restriction. It is kinda exciting when you were almost to that point and then had it all removed and now are back to the restriction point. Normal weight people look at me like I am stupid when I say that. Ha. I go in again next month so anxious to see what my weight loss will be. I am new to this site and have enjoyed reading all the posts. Hopefully this will keep me motivated knowing I am not the only one in the world that has this problem.

[chickadee81 0]

I know that this site is what keeps me on the straight and narrow. Especially the challenges. I hate to have to post a gain for a week so I really try. (I know I could always lie, but that just isn't me!). The Labor Day challenge is only 1 1/2 weeks in...still not too late if you are interested

[Carosel2002 0]

Don't feel like a failure. I'm 4 months out. I just went to my doc on Monday, got on the scale and have only lost 1.3lbs since I saw him in June. He and I chatted and he told me to get back to the basics. Concentrate on calories, activity and pay attention to how I'm eating (fast or slow, etc). He wouldn't give me a fill this visit so I'll get back on track and stop thinking the band will do all the work. I look at it this way, I've lost 36lbs and I haven't gained anything back!! We'll see how I do in the next 4wks:wink2:

[amelyn6528 0]

I am glad that someone else feels the same way I use to. Here is my story I was banded 8 months ago and day of surgery I weighed 270 and today I weigh 220. I have only lost 50lbs in 8 months. I was in the same boat you are now, but one thing that got me out of my funk was looking at previous pictures of what I USE to look like and seeing I will never be the person again. Also, if you think about your clothes that you wore at 267 do they fit you now? I am guessing not, or at least a little bit big on you. That is a HUGE accomplishment! It takes some time and everyone is different some lose more quickly then others but regardless of how quick you lose it or not, your LOSING! You just need to step back and realize what was the main purpose to get the surgery and remember the motivation you had to get the surgery and use that as a crutch to get motivated again. I was just like you, didn't exercise, didn't eat right, felt embarrassed because I wasn't losing weight quickly enough, no one really noticed that I lost weight etc. But who cares what other people say or think, if you are LOSING then you should be proud of yourself and that is what is most important..!!:tt2: