Any advise on what to tell young children about surgery

[wendyhart 0]

Hi everyone, I am a single mom with 4 kids and I am working through the process of preparing for surgery. If everything goes well I could be scheduled around the end of August, beginning of Sept. I have already talked to my 2 teenage children about the surgery and they are being supportive. I am just not sure what to tell my 2 younger children (ages 9 & 6). I have told my closest friends and family, work supervisor etc. about the surgery but I am not sure who else I will tell, so that is another thing for me to consider with my children. (I work for a company that runs childcare centers, etc. so some of my coworkers have daily contact with my children). I'm sure many of you have children and I would love some advice on how to handle this.

[jingleboob 5]

Good question!! I've got 2 step-girls, 11 and 6, and we're not telling them until after the surgery. The little one would just feel bad knowing ahead of time (as she did when her dad had hernia surgery last year) and the 11 year old is 11 and would tell everyone she ran into even if I asked her not to. (We were at the pool the other day and she announced to everyone that my boobs float... I mean everyone- even her Grandpa at dinner the next night!) I've only told close family and 3 friends and only 2 people at work, I don't want the whole neighborhood to know!

I think I'm not going to go into detail about it with them other than I had something fixed in my stomach and leave it at that. It will be enough for the little one, and if the older one wants to know more I'll talk with her alone about it.

[New Joy 0]

I have a 4 year old son who knows I had "surgery". He doesn't know what it is but he knows that mommy had to have her tummy fixed on the inside.

He was very attentive to the scars since he had to be careful not to jump on me and he still asks to see them sometimes when I am getting dressed.

It doesn't seem to be a big deal to him at all.

Good Luck!

[MollyRN 28]

My issue with my kids (9 and 7) is that I don't want them to be scared or worried - but I also don't want them to think this is a quick fix to bad eating habits. It is a hard balance. We talk alot about taking care of your own body so that you don't need to have surgery. We talk about this being low risk physically - but that it hurts emotionally - and that I don't want them to ever feel this way. They are pretty good about it - although my son tells me he doesnt want a skinny mom :grouphug: Now that I have started the liquid diet, they are kind of excited for me. And that is nice - to have them realize how much I want this. My new eating habits will only be good for them too.

[wendyhart 0]

Molly, good luck on the 26th. I wish I was that close - I am hoping for the end of August. I have my exercise -- dietician consults tomorrow and my psych. on the 27th. Then I have to wait a week to call the surgeon to try to sched. the surgery and submit to the insurance.

Thanks for the advice with the children I agree with you on every point. How is the presurg diet going? I'm nervous about both the presurg diet and learning to eat properly afterwards! Thanks again, take care. Wendy

[wendyhart 0]

I loved your reply! Kids say the funniest (most embarrassing) things sometimes dont they?! How long has it been since you were banded and how are you doing? I'm 99.5% positive that I want the surgery I just get a little nervous about it -- hopefully I will feel better after I have my exer. -- diet consults tomorrow. I know I felt so hopeful after I met with my surgeon for my first appt. Thanks for the reply -- take care!

[wendyhart 0]

I think the key to talking with my children will making sure that I'm very positive about it and don't overload them with details that they don't need. My daughter is very mature for 9 but sometimes that makes you forget how young she really is. Thanks for the reply.

[MollyRN 28]

Wendy - I am day 2 of 14 of the preop. It is not easy - but I have had 2 great days and I can do this - I CAN DO THIS. The kids are really funny...yesterday, they spent the day asking "can you eat this? can you eat that?" - and then today, they decided they wouldn't eat anything with sugar for the whole day. So funny. This is the point though - they need to be cognizant of what they put in their bodies - and man, the preop is like HYPER COGNIZANT - so it is a good exercise for me - and also for them. They know what Protein is and how important it is for sure

I felt like I had to wait forever for these days to come - it comes so quickly - you'll make it!!!

[wendyhart 0]

Hi Molly, you're right YOU CAN DO THIS!! I went for my diet and exercise consults today and I feel so much better -- I thought I would be eating dry chicken breast and broccoli for the rest of my life! LOL Thank God I found out today that that isn't the case! I have one more consult with the psych and then I can sched and submit to insurance. I feel like I am so ready right now! Please keep me posted on how you are doing. Take care and hang in there!