Head games

[willowcat 93]

I'm a little over one year post op. I've lost 100 lbs (with 50 more to go). I like the way I feel, move, and look. The lapband was a lifesaver! But sometimes I feel shame about having 1. been so fat and 2. not having been able to do this without the band.

I think the feeling of SHAME is so uncomfortable for me, that I don't even entertain it long enough to examine it and see what it's all about. Losing with the band hasn't really been that hard, it seems as if I should have been able to have done this myself.

When people comment on my weight loss (100 lbs doesn't go unnoticed that's for sure!), I always tell them I've had surgery--I don't want them thinking I've done this by myself. BUT I feel like I should have done this by myself, and I feel like there's something wrong with me because I had to resort to surgery.

Sorry for the rambling. Sometimes I just need to see things in print.

Have you dealt with feelings of shame around needing to have the band in order to be successful?

I think I need to hear that this is "normal" stinking thinking so I can put this silly idea to rest.

[emjay 8]

You know Willowcat - I don't think there is any shame about it. The way I look at it - is that I know my personality and who I am better than anybody. I haven't been able to keep this weight off for 25 years and if it took getting banded to do it, then so be it. I can't say that I shout it from the moon because I don't. I also don't necessarily tell people that aren't close to me because sometimes the reason they ask is not to be supportive, but because they want to know your business and gossip (I live in a small town).

I just feel that getting banded is making my life so much more enjoyable. I don't feel it is shameful so much as I don't want to have to explain my reasons to people. Nobody knows what it's like to be obese unless you have been - and I don't know of anybody that wants to be.

You took the initiative and did something positive about your weight - there should be NO shame in that. Other people with addictions or medical issues seek help too. Don't sell yourself short. You could have tried for the rest of your life and struggled just like we all have. But why if you don't have to? Why not make it a bit easier than going it alone? Do something that helps keep your hunger in check and limits the amount of food you can eat? Nothing shamefull about that if you ask me. Nothing.

[♥Amy♥ 5]

The way I see it is this: There's a reason obesity is considered a disease. If it were so easily "cured" it woudn't be such an epidemic. And like any other disease, you need medical intervention. You need medicine and in this case our medicine, or treatment for our disease, is the band. I could see maybe being a little ashamed if you had never tried on your own but you did, didn't you? I know I did. Countless times and sure I lost 100lbs of pounds over the last 20 years. Keeping them off was my problem, and I think that's the case with most of us. We've been able to lose weight on our own, just not enough and we couldn't keep it off.

Stop beating yourself up and tell yourself that you did the best thing you could have ever done for yourself by opting for the band. You gave yourself a better life. Where would you be right now if you were "doing it on your own?"

Pat yourself on the back...better yet...give yourself a hug. You made an awesome decision. Easy or not, the band was right for you. If it were not your post would probably be the opposite like "The Band Doesn't Work For Me" or "Why am I not losing weight?"

[willowcat 93]

Thanks ladies! I know it's been stinking thinking. I "should" on myself sometimes too much. You're right about not being able to do this by myself--and keep it off for very long--if diets really worked, I would have been thin--god knows I worked hard at it! Your thoughts and support have been helpful. I will remember them the next time feelings of shame surface. Thank you.