Not sure I'm ready to tell anyone yet but I need help

[spoiltmom 44]

with all these appointments. So far my mom and DH are the only ones who know I'm trying to get Lap Band. My problem is though I don't really want to tell my MIL yet but my dh works all the time so my MIL is the only person I have that can babysit while I go to my appointments. My kids are 9,3 and 3 months. It may be fine for them to go to my monthly weigh ins at my family doc but I can't see taking them to my nutritionist, pscyh or surgeon appointments. I've never lied to MIL and she truly is the only person I have that can baby sit and I don't want to take advantage of that. So should I just sit her down and tell her what's going on and tell her it's a secret or what? What would you do?

[cassandra 0]

Just sit her down and tell her. She should be happy 4 u I hope my mom and I r getting the lapband gd luck

[hopefulmom 0]

I was hesitant about sharing the news of my decision to have the lap band done too, I still dont share the info on my Facebook or anything like that but those around you especially those who are helping you out with your kids should probably know. I had to tell a good friend of mine because she is the only one my kids will go to other than my husband and he works all day. Good luck to you!

[losethemess 14]

Girl, you don't have to tell her. It's not like you are going out doing something unproductive or mischievous. I don't tell my babysitter where I am going when I leave my son with her. I just tell her that I'll be back in a few hours, granted your mother in law is different, she does deserve a little more explanation.

Remember, once you tell her you can't take it back. I'm sorry to say, but once you tell her, everybody else in your family will most likely find out. Think back to a time when you had a secret and told someone? Of course they told someone else. It is so hard to seek help for a weight problem. You don't need added stress from anyone else.

I just posted a poll today about this same topic. Check it out. I have only told my husband and mother. I don't plan on telling anyone else. I really don't see the purpose. If you fell like you are only hesitant to tell her because you feel like you are lying tell her you are going to see a nutritionist to help you with your weight problem. That's the truth at least you won't be lying. If you feel like you need her support and she'll support you then, tell her, otherwise keep it to yourself.

Edited June 27, 2010 by losethemess

[shelyshely 0]

I have told everyone what I am planning on doing, I need the extra support.

I'm even considering making YouTube videos for a couple of reasons. One for myself so I can see where I came from and two so that I maybe can offer some help or info for others. I've been watching other peoples vids and they are giving me so much more insight into what I'm planning on doing.

Are you afraid you MIL will discourage you or make you feel bad about your decision?

[cwm812 11]

I'd tell her, if you need her to watch the kids. If you don't tell her, she's going to worry and figure that something is else is going on. I truly think that it your business who to tell, but in this case she's going to know you have all these appts. She's going to think you have some kind of health problem, then she'll ask your husband and put him in the position of lying. Sooner or later, she'll find out and then she'll be really hurt.

If you could manage without her help, I'd keep quiet. I didn't tell my own mother-in-law until after I had the surgery. I would make it clear that you don't want anyone else to know. I didn't mention this fact to some people and I was really shocked who knew. They thought it was great that I was losing this weight and then spread the word. I wasn't mad or anything, but it did make for one uncomfortable holiday meal where everyone commented on my food choices.

Cindy

[spoiltmom 44]

I think my MIL will be supportive but FIL will be very discouraging and I'm closer to my FIL than to my real dad. I have to tell her though b/c I was out today at the family doc and I'll be gone most of the day Tuesday for my Psych and Nutrition eval.

[stargate713 0]

If you trust her with your children then you should be able to trust her with this. I'm glad I did'nt tell everyone I know, but I'm comfortable with the fact that I told the people who I'm closest to. Good luck with everything!