Did you tell anyone you were having surgery?

[Chloe1982 0]

I only told my husband... I didn't want ANYONE at working knowing, so my doctor wrote on plain prescriptions for my FMLA paperwork. I am happy with this choice. I like talking to people on here and my dr has a support group on Thursdays. I really don't feel the need to confide in someone who really doesnt understand what I'm going thru, ya know? Best Wishes on your upcoming surgery :scared2:

[losethemess 14]

WHAT AN AWESOME RESPONSE, THANKS EVERYONE !!! What great feedback and advice. I am really worried that people are going to judge me and most importantly try to discourage me from having the surgery. I am 110% sure I need the surgery, but it's so easy for me to start second guessing myself.

I really think that for now, until I see results, I'm going to keep my mouth shut. I receive enough support from my mom and doctors office (not my husband) and maybe I'll look into joining a support group after I'm banded. I'm located in Arlington, TX if anyone knows of any good one's.

Every time I started talking about a diet in the past, it seemed as though I would fail. It's like talking about dieting is a recipe for disaster? Does anyone else ever feel like this?

I was also concerned about eating in front of people. Now if I get questions about what I'm eating I can say, "It's better to eat slow and eat smaller portions," great suggestion.

[HappyMom 1]

• Who did you guys tell?
  

I have only told my husband...and of course my doctor. I just don't feel comfortable telling anyone else about the surgery right now. I haven't even told my mom whom I speak with almost every day.

• What are you regrets about not telling?
  

At first I felt a little lonely not being able to discuss the surgery with anyone else other than my husband. I realized that even if I had told my family and friends they wouldn't really understand. No one else that I know has had weight loss surgery. I have found a local support group that meets once a month. I have actually made some new friends through this group and have them for support now.

• What are your regrets about telling?
  

I chose not to tell because I was unsure how people would react. I am self conscience about my weight and I really didn't want others to be discussing my weight and progress amongst themselves. I also wasn't sure of some of theirs reaction to hearing that I had weight loss surgery. I felt 100% confident that I was making the right choice for me.....I didn't want to have to defend that choice to someone else.

• What's the purpose of telling?
  

If you tell you may find that your friends and family will be really supportive. I sometimes feel that I underestimate my family and friends by me saying that I really don't want to deal with their reactions to my surgery. They may be great. I have to admit that it is nice to keep the surgery just between my husband and myself. I don't want the added pressure of everyone watching my progress.

• Should I wait for results then tell?
  

I have mentioned to my husband that I may let on about the surgery once I come close to my target weight. I just don't know. I guess that I will decide when I get there!

• Are you able to eat in front of people without having to explain your eating habits? What do you say to explain them?
  

I have no problem eating in front of anyone. I just have to be conscience about the size of the bit that I take and how much I chew. No one has ever voiced a suspicion about me having surgery.

If you are having questions about to tell or not to tell, my advice is probably not to tell. Once you say something to even one friend or family member PLEASE expect that everyone else will find out. If you are not comfortable with everyone knowing then don't say anything. I am lucky that I have my husband to help me. He has been absolutely fantastic and has not and will not tell anyone else about my surgery until I am ready. My family is really close so if I had chosen to tell my mom then she would tell my dad who would let it slip to my sister who then would announce it to everyone at the annual family picnic!

Good luck to you!

[losethemess 14]

• Who did you guys tell?
  

I have only told my husband...and of course my doctor. I just don't feel comfortable telling anyone else about the surgery right now. I haven't even told my mom whom I speak with almost every day.

• What are you regrets about not telling?
  

At first I felt a little lonely not being able to discuss the surgery with anyone else other than my husband. I realized that even if I had told my family and friends they wouldn't really understand. No one else that I know has had weight loss surgery. I have found a local support group that meets once a month. I have actually made some new friends through this group and have them for support now.

• What are your regrets about telling?
  

I chose not to tell because I was unsure how people would react. I am self conscience about my weight and I really didn't want others to be discussing my weight and progress amongst themselves. I also wasn't sure of some of theirs reaction to hearing that I had weight loss surgery. I felt 100% confident that I was making the right choice for me.....I didn't want to have to defend that choice to someone else.

• What's the purpose of telling?
  

If you tell you may find that your friends and family will be really supportive. I sometimes feel that I underestimate my family and friends by me saying that I really don't want to deal with their reactions to my surgery. They may be great. I have to admit that it is nice to keep the surgery just between my husband and myself. I don't want the added pressure of everyone watching my progress.

• Should I wait for results then tell?
  

I have mentioned to my husband that I may let on about the surgery once I come close to my target weight. I just don't know. I guess that I will decide when I get there!

• Are you able to eat in front of people without having to explain your eating habits? What do you say to explain them?
  

I have no problem eating in front of anyone. I just have to be conscience about the size of the bit that I take and how much I chew. No one has ever voiced a suspicion about me having surgery.

If you are having questions about to tell or not to tell, my advice is probably not to tell. Once you say something to even one friend or family member PLEASE expect that everyone else will find out. If you are not comfortable with everyone knowing then don't say anything. I am lucky that I have my husband to help me. He has been absolutely fantastic and has not and will not tell anyone else about my surgery until I am ready. My family is really close so if I had chosen to tell my mom then she would tell my dad who would let it slip to my sister who then would announce it to everyone at the annual family picnic!

Good luck to you!

You're absolutely right, once I tell my sister the whole family would know and I don't want the added pressure. Luckily for you your husband is supportive, mine is not. He thinks I just need to exercise and eat better. Thanks again for the response.

[2beskinny 4]

I have only told my husband and my sister. They are very supportive and would never tell anyone else. My sister told me she will not even tell her own husband. She is also overweight (more than me) and I know will be watching carefully to decide if it's something she will do for herself. She jokes about how she's going to let me be the guinnea pig :scared2: I might tell my mother after the surgery. I don't want her to worry about it prior to. It's my dad that I worry about knowing, and I can only assume my mom will tell him, so the jury is still out on that one. My dad has eight brothers and sisters and just needs one excuse to pick up the phone and call them. I just don't want it to be about me - I'm very private. I read these boards, almost daily, to get my "fill" of listening to people who are going through the same thing. The reality is, I ony want to talk about this surgery with others who already understand it. I certainly don't want to have to educate everyone else about it. I don't want to open myself up to the judgment that may come with non-bandsters, non-overweight people (most people in my life, by the way). I am not going to tell my 3 teenage sons, either. The main reason for not telling them is that I don't want to put them in a position where they know something they "can't tell" other people. Don't think it's fair to them. They are extemely athletic, well-adjusted boys and I really don't think this is a subject area they would have the least bit of interest in My dad is extremely obese (500+ pounds) and I also feel funny about him knowing that I had surgery. Somehow I worry that he will feel "guilty" that I had to resort to this drastic measure to be happy. I could see him blaming himself for my weight problem...he's very loving and a little dramatic :tt2: By the way - he is 73 years old and has very little health problems which is amazing and a blessing. His mobility is not great, but his heart, blood pressure, cholesterol, blood sugar, are all good. He is the only one of his siblings that is heavy. My siblings and I are the only overweight grandchildren. I really believe there is such a genetic component to obesity! That is why that I feel a medical intervention is the only true cure for it. Whatever made us this way will always come back and return us to our true selves. That's why I believe in the band

[sandradee0124 0]

I told almost everyone and I have some regrets. Sometimes the discussion centers too much around the weight loss and I get kind of overwhelmed if the discussions go on too long.

I totally regret telling my mother. She is 76 and an anorexic since she was 40. She is not at all supportive like I thought she would be (no, hoped not thought). I try not to talk about it anymore and am kind of pulling away from daily conversations with her into maybe twice weekly to avoid the drama and the conflict. (She lives far away)

My best friend and my workout buddy -- I wouldn't have had the level of support I have now with either of them had I not told them. I've been through literally dozens of diets with both of them and they would have gotten bored with it easily.

[Carrie_C 9]

You're absolutely right, once I tell my sister the whole family would know and I don't want the added pressure. Luckily for you your husband is supportive, mine is not. He thinks I just need to exercise and eat better. Thanks again for the response.

Your husband will most likely come around. My husband wasn't very supportive either at first, but now he is. I don't know if your husband has a weight problem too, but mine doesn't. He is actually the opposite, he is small and wants to gain weight. People who don't have a weight problem have no idea. But once you start losing, he will probably be more supportive.

[losethemess 14]

Your husband will most likely come around. My husband wasn't very supportive either at first, but now he is. I don't know if your husband has a weight problem too, but mine doesn't. He is actually the opposite, he is small and wants to gain weight. People who don't have a weight problem have no idea. But once you start losing, he will probably be more supportive.

My husband does not have a weight problem. Hopefully like you said he'll come around.

[Mel Mel 0]

• Who did you guys tell? For the longest time just My husband, then I told my parents, siblings and a few close friends. Post-op I opened up to s few more friends.
  

• What are you regrets about not telling? none, it was my decision to have the surgery and I didn't want to be influenced.
  

• What are your regrets about telling? haven't had any regrets so far but I'm only 6 weeks postop
  

• What's the purpose of telling? First, just the fact that I was going into surgery. Then it was so that they would understand the procedure and the impact it would have on my life.
  

• Should I wait for results then tell? I can't answer this for you.
  

• Are you able to eat in front of people without having to explain your eating habits? What do you say to explain them?
  I haven't had to explain anything to anyone
  

[junibug 0]

I told everyone. I figure I need their support, I figure I will do better also with everyone rooting for me. Personal choice, but hopefully a good one. I just had my surgery yesterday. So, we shall see.

[Barbee 1]

Who did you guys tell? Everyone... I'm not a secretive person.

What are you regrets about not telling?

What are your regrets about telling? None at all. Even my many Facebook friends know about it and I have lots of people praying and sending me good thoughts.

What's the purpose of telling? Support mainly. My son is also obese and is doing nothing about it. I"m hoping to be a positive influence on him so maybe someday he'll decide to do it too, esp. after seeing my good results.

Should I wait for results then tell?

No... people will wonder if you are sick or something if you lose a lot of weight that fast without telling... in my opinion.

Are you able to eat in front of people without having to explain your eating habits? What do you say to explain them? Was just banded Monday so haven't gotten to that problem yet. I'm not a secretive person so I doubt it will bother me to tell anyone.

Last edited by losethemess; 06-28-2010 at 11:38 AM.

[Llyra 3]

It's no big secret, but I wasn't interested in a bunch of unsolicited comment and advice from either well-meaning or demeaning acquaintances so I kept information about my plans for surgery private. I don't share my medical issues with everyone I know and this surgery is a medical issue. Post surgery I've been more open about discussing it with friends who are considering the same surgery, but that's all.

[cruzlady 0]

My husband , our daughter and my best friend are the only people that know I was banded.

I chose to keep this a "private project"

[Sicily5 0]

Good to know there are others out there who haven't told the whole world. My husband and best friend know and that is all for now. Just banded July 1st and not ready to share all the info. Just a little embarrassed I guess that I couldn't do this on my own. Maybe when I have some results, I will feel more like sharing. Do you think this is ok to think this way?

[Windus 0]

Absolutely. If you were having to have some personal female surgery done would you feel compelled to tell everyone? This is no different and none of anyone's business if you ask me!