you got me feeling emotions

[pearlgirl 0]

That song by Mariah Carey keeps replaying in my mind. I have had my lapband for four weeks now. I am so glad that I did it and would do it all over again. These past couple of weeks I have really reflected on what I am feeling.

I have moments where I feel triumph!!! I Celebrate that I walked past the bakery in the grocery store and did not even stop. I want to do a little dance. I celebrate that I do not have any junk food in my home. I celebrate the fact that I have lost 15 lbs in a few short weeks without anything in my band. I celebrate that I am able to only eat 1/2 cup to a cup of food and feel full and satisfied and stop there. I celebrated that so far I have not PB/vomitted. I know I need to focus on those and keep moving forward. "A journey of a thousand miles begins with one footstep!"

Then there is this little seed of doubt. The doubt that tells me "what do you think you are doing? You have never been able to stick to anything." I try to wipe those thoughts away. There are moments that I self loath because I ate a spoonful of mac and cheese instead of filling my stomach with steamed veggies which I know are more nutritional. Or the moments I slip in the "rules"

then I self reflect, pick my self up and dust myself off. I realize that this is a learning experience. I have been eating bad for 27 years and I can not expect 4 weeks to change that. I understand the meaning of a tool. I have to do the work. I have to make the proper choices. I have to keep going forward and be better than I was the day before. So in this I celebrate me and a whole new way of life!!!